Headed for D - Trying to move on

[J5K]

I am the primary on the card. I have contacted my L about this. L is addressing issue.

There was nothing else in the court documents other than us agreeing to find an apartment and have our nights in the marital home with the boys.

[dream]

Good. Glad to see you've reached out to your lawyer on the card issue. What's the progress for finding an apartment?

It sounds like she wants you to go back to your parents so she can have full custody/use of marital home and use that against you.

Do you have a separate account to put money into that she can't touch?

[J5K]

dream,

Yes, I have some money in a separate account.
I don't know how to stop this entitlement feeling she has to be a SAHM.

I gave her an apartment that made the most sense and she disagreed with using it because it was a 6 month lease. She says this will be over in 2 months. Not sure how she expects that to happen.

[dream]

If the court papers say get an apartment, she needs to comply.

[CWOL]

I don't know how to stop this entitlement feeling she has to be a SAHM.

If she filed for D, and you're in a no-fault state, the judge will usually give her a "transitional" period where she is expected to seek gainful employment, assuming she has enough time to spend for the 50% or whatever custody she gets. The alimony (spousal support) should be calculated with that assumption so it cliffs and sunsets eventually in one or two years.
At least that's what was explained to me, in my situation.

[Painter]

I doubt that will happen with 5 children between the ages of 2 and 7...

[CWOL]

I doubt that will happen with 5 children between the ages of 2 and 7...

Very true. I'm trying to figure out how Jim's gonna take care of 5 by himself when he has custody? It was a struggle for me to take care of 1 at those ages!

[Painter]

It sounds like a situation where you'd have a nanny or lots of extended family!

[J5K]

CWOL, Painter,

When I filed in December, I had the two little ones in daycare and the 3 others were in school age care. I plan on getting a nanny or an au pair.

I have no issue with her having 50/50 custody but she wants to move them to Toronto, Canada which leaves me with only 2 or 2.5 months of overnights with the boys unless I get a transfer up there for work.

Is a judge really going to side with a SAHM and say yes it is ok to move the boys 4.5 hours away from their father?

[TimR]

IDK where you live but around here the answer is no unless SAHM can show some greatly compelling reason.... School are a better. Nope, Closer to family.... Nope. Better job... Sorry but nope. Ex is a convicted Ax Murderer... Ok but you have to provide more than enough time he can see his kids.

Like I said I cannot say for your area but around here it is no.