This morning he sent pics of his pictures on the wall and pillows on the couch and thanked me for the email. I texted back that his place looked nice and I was glad it all worked out for him.
He immediately called and we spent about 20 minutes in friendly conversation about this and that ... a few minutes about BIL and MIL, but mostly just chit-chat.
HaWho, it's interesting how people will say one thing - basically laying down a boundary - and then get upset when you don't cross it. It's like they're testing you and you are supposed to figure out whether they mean what they say or if you're supposed to read their mind and ignore what that say.
In my case, I meant what I said. The final straw was when he jumped down my throat in a restaurant lobby (in front of others) because I went into the restaurant to meet him instead of looking for him in his car in the parking lot. We had an awkward lunch, I spent the rest of the afternoon in the mall spending money I didn't need to spend and then when I finally went home, I found myself hoping his car wasn't in the garage when I hit the opener.
In the long run, it was constructive because I regained my self-respect and he treats me much better now. I feel like he once again treats me with some respect and I'm okay with walking that NC dog back a little, but I'm not sure how to do it discreetly. Maybe the email was the way to go. We'll see if the seed takes root, I suppose.
Me: 59 and holding H: :53 Me: 1 S, 1 D, both grown M: 19 T: 23 BD: 9-23-2013
I've been thinking a lot about MIL today. I feel so bad for her because I know where she is right now is not the way she wants to live. She is paralyzed on one side, has broken ribs, is on oxygen and at the moment is completely bedridden. Having dealt with both my Mom and Dad as their health declined, I worry that this may be the beginning of her slide toward the end. My heart breaks for her.
But beyond that, I've been thinking about how things have transpired over the past 9 months. I asked H last September not to stay here when he comes home and he's been staying with his parents. As a result, he's had a lot more interaction with his Mom than he would have even if he were still living here. He's also seen first hand, on a daily basis, what his Dad is going through to take care of his Mom.
I think maybe I see God's hand at work here. That brings me a great deal of peace because I see that He gave me the strength to do what I did so H would have the opportunity to spend more quality time with his Mom and have a greater appreciation for the sacrifices his Dad (who is not his birth father) has made. It's as though, in spite of H's selfishness, God has seen fit to give him the peace he would not have found had he not been "forced" to spend time with his parents.
I hope that his Mom recovers and lives many more years, but if she continues to deteriorate, at least H has had an opportunity to spend quality time with her now. If my actions made that possible, then I'm good with that.
Just a few thoughts.
Tomorrow I go back to the surgeon to have my stitches removed and get the results of the biopsy. I'm a little concerned because the right side of my nose, below the incision, is swollen and very tender. That just came about today and I'm hoping it's nothing to be concerned about.
Me: 59 and holding H: :53 Me: 1 S, 1 D, both grown M: 19 T: 23 BD: 9-23-2013
Good luck with your results 2T. I hope everything goes well. It is reassuring that you can have the Mohs surgery. It really is the best option, for safety and cosmetic result. My bacal cell carcinoma was very visible too (in the eye canthus) and it was very tricky to operate on. It is hardly visible now, so I'm really pleased with the result.
Let us know how it went please xxx
"There's nothing sadder than a conman conning himself"
“There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask "What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, What if you fly?”
God does have a way of making things happen when they need to happen. I agree...it's been a blessing in disguise that your h has had to spend some "quality" time w/his parents when he comes home.
I am keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers. It's never easy to see a loved one suffering and knowing that that is not the way that they want to live their lives in their golden years. I do hope that she makes a good recovery and can continue to live many more years to come.
Good luck today. I hope that you get good news at the surgeon's office.
Just want you to know I am thinking of you today. Sending positive thoughts your way.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
Thank you to everyone for you support and encouraging wishes.
The news is good. It's not skin cancer. It's sebaceous hyperplasia for all you medical types out there. I'm very relieved and very glad I didn't let the HMO folks make a mess of my nose. I'm told dermabasion will take care of it as well as some previous damage. I'll give that some thought.
The swelling and tenderness I was concerned about wasn't associated with the biopsy, so I stopped at one of those pharmacy clinics on the way home. Turns out I have a sinus infection (which totally explains the watery eyes I've had the for the last week), so I'm on antibiotics now and all that should be cleared up in a week.
I'm a happy camper!
Thanks again for all the good wishes. All of you are such great support to me, in MLC-land and otherwise. I can't express how much that means to me.
xoxoxoxo
Me: 59 and holding H: :53 Me: 1 S, 1 D, both grown M: 19 T: 23 BD: 9-23-2013
Woo hoo! I am toasting to your good results. What a relief. Phfeww.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
