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Thought I'd start my new thread with a quote from one of my favorite songs ...

Now, it seems to me some fine things
Have been laid upon your table,
But you only want the ones that you can't get
(Desperado, The Eagles)

Previous Thread:
What the heck is this: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2641468#Post2641468


Me: 59 and holding
H: :53
Me: 1 S, 1 D, both grown
M: 19
T: 23
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Whenever I hear that song I think of H. He had some pretty fine things on his table ... a successful business, a loving and devoted wife, the respect of his family and step-kids, and the adoration of his 6 step-grandkids to name a few.

Yet, look where he is.

Then I ask myself if I'm the one with some fine things on the table and wanting things I can't get?

I don't think so but it is food for thought.


Me: 59 and holding
H: :53
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I heard that song recently and looked up the lyrics. It's so spot on with MLC.

I think we just want the one we love back, unfortunately, not an option at the moment.


Me 48 H 46 S 11
M 2004
BD 8/13
H moved out 2/15
-live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
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Oh my gosh--- I love the name of your new thread 2T!! I had to look up the lyrics too cuz I haven't heard it in forever.

Mleigh is right---it sounds like it was written for an MLCer. Even the next line "you've been out riding fences" sounds like they had my H in mind!!


Me 47 H 49 S18 S15
M 21
BD #1 11/09/15 ILYBNILY
I believe we are Piecing 1/2/16
Suspect EA/PA? 2/28/16
BD #2 "He tried, but needs passion." 2/28/16
Confirm PA 3/11/16, he's leaving in June
H leaves 5/7/16
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2T, catching up with your thread. I’m sorry to hear that your sister is in the hospital. I hope there is nothing serious and she will be home soon.

Just wanted to comment on your posts from your previous thread, about your H’s circle of friends and how he brags about them. My H used to want to be around successful, educated, smart people. At some point before the BD he was getting frustrated with some of our friends, saying that they annoy him. I thought it was strange, but what I didn’t know that H was entering into MLC. H is from a family where finishing high school was considered a big achievement. All of his family had to work hard for the living. I don’t remember anyone even in his extended family who would be rich. Essentially, by marring me, H stepped into a different world. I had different friends and we made different friends, we were able to afford things, traveled, etc… I always though that H fit very well into our circle of friends. But, I might be wrong and maybe he always felt uncomfortable. IDK.

With MLC, H has reconnected with the people from his former life. I’m not saying that they are bad people, but some of them are from lower level of the society, to put it politely. This is his new circle of people here, at the vacation home. I guess he feels at home now, LOL.

I remember there was a link on this forum to another song, that was called Welcome to the hotel Midlife Crisis, or something like that. It was a modified version of Eagles Welcome to the hotel California.


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I looked at the lyrics, too. Pretty spot on. Actually "Lyin' Eyes" struck a chord, too. I'd like to see the "Welcome to the Hotel MLC" lyrics. Maybe the Eagles were all about that MLC stuff. Hidden messages embedded to drive people into MLC, perhaps?
cool


M-51 H-54
2D-27 and 25
M-26 yrs
Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15
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I'd like to see "Welcome to the Hotel MLC" lyrics too.

I now have to look up lyrics to "Lyin' Eyes." While I was checking out "Despardo," "Heart of the Matter" came up as a suggestion. Was Don Henley having an MLC for crying out loud? Dude seems to hit the nail on the head.

I may need to name next thread after a song:/


Me 47 H 49 S18 S15
M 21
BD #1 11/09/15 ILYBNILY
I believe we are Piecing 1/2/16
Suspect EA/PA? 2/28/16
BD #2 "He tried, but needs passion." 2/28/16
Confirm PA 3/11/16, he's leaving in June
H leaves 5/7/16
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For the past few years H has gravitated toward people who are "beneath" him in education or success and usually people who have a problem with alcohol. If he befriends people he perceives as "better" than him (say, a doctor friend of ours), he doesn't nurture or build that friendship, but will brag about his "friend" if the circumstances call for it. We have/had friends that were good, decent people but H seems to gravitate more to the ones with issues. I doubt his friends over there are any better than the ones he's had here recently.

For example, M, he brags about his "friends" in high places, but his running group??

They have a run every Saturday then meet to drink beer to excess afterwards. H has had to leave his car several times and go back and get it the next day because he was too drunk to drive. Now, he takes a taxi or Uber.

The head dogs give everyone nicknames that have sexual connotations and are somewhat degrading.

H told me of one guy who spilled beer all over his pants and just took them off and walked around the rest of the night bottomless.

I've seen pics posted where they are drinking beer out of those containers men use in the hospital to urinate in. Didn't see H in those pics, but something tells me he participates in that.

The whole group is juvenile and reminds of the movie "Animal House."

And then, H has the audacity to tell me I'm too uptight to enjoy associating with people like his friends! Yep! I do have a little class and self-respect.

I highly doubt people who are high up in major corporations or government organizations and people who work for embassies behave like that in public.

We worked with a bunch of folks like his running buddies when we first met that behaved in a similar manner. H refused to associate with them outside work.

So sad. But total opposite, right?


Me: 59 and holding
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T: 23
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Ciluzen and Mel - I've often wondered the same thing about some of the Eagles songs. I also wonder sometimes about Daughtry's songs. He seems to have several songs along the same lines ... burning bridges and such.


Me: 59 and holding
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Yes, total opposite or mirror image of the good guy that has gone under ground for a while.

They do tend to gravitate toward people who are lower in status because they want to be perceived as better than those around them. They want those individuals to look up to them and be impressed by what the MLCer has in life as well as what they can do in the way of success, money, etc. In other words, they want recognition and be loved by these people. Also, in the early days, they don't feel worthy of what they have and sometimes the people that they gravitate towards tell us just how they feel inside about themselves.

BTW, they do love to brag to anyone who will listen...again attention seekers.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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