I did mess up a bit, but didn't play doormat either. I got the letter back, didn't support the affair, blocked them from Facebook, and will be moving out of state soon. Simply working on establishing respect for me as a man and as a person. Not a total loss all things considering. Now for her to eventually miss 16D and possibly me with going completely dark.
This is good stuff. Never be a doormat. Don't beg or act clingy. That will look weak and pathetic to her.
Thanks for the feedback fellas! Wish I could get more advice here..........
16-Daughter and I will probably NOT move out of state (my luck some stupid law about abandonment or W's rights to 16D) would probably come into play; even though my 16D wants nothing to do with W. We're going to stay here and Detach and GAL on the other side of the town instead.
My therapist said that there is "No Way... that OM has properly grieved the loss of his wife (died in a car crash after being together 33 years even if their marriage was bad) in only 6 weeks when he started dating and having sex with my W. He said it was a classic rebound relationship that will most likely fail.
In my session, I referred to my W + OM as two emotional octopus that won't let go of each other out of fear and loneliness. He nodded and agreed. He did however say, it could take 3 weeks or it could take 3 years... there's no way of knowing and for me to be prepared for the worst.
I have a similar situation as far as your daughters go. My oldest daughter is actually my step-daughter. My W had her before we married in between us dating. We married when she was 3 or so.
So it obviously changed things between me and my daughter. She was being more rebellious towards me. So I made a stand on that just like you. My W defended her actions saying she was basically an adult, etc. (she's 17) I had to remind her it doesn't matter if she is 42, she's still our daughter and my W has to respect that boundary. I told her it up to her to correct our daughter and remind her she is the daughter that she can't be confused by the things my W is telling her and not being able to process that correctly.
She actually came to me yesterday and told me she talked to our daughter and told her she's not going to be involving her in our situation anymore.
I think you realized what I did that not only do you need any OM to be out of the situation for any R to work, but also the kids need to stay in a kids role and not have them drawn into this and be our wives crutch
M:13 years Known her for 30 years! Me: 40 W: 38 Kids: 17, 11, 7, 7 BD: 02/07/2016 Found EA: 3/22/2016 Told of 2 PA's: 4/8/16 Got Papers: 6/15/16
