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Sotto - You are so gracious and loving. I am sorry that you have had to endure so much. Just wanted to send you my best and to let you know that I am thinking of you.

This is just tough. Hang in there friend.


M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters
BD: 5/14
Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW
D Final 9/17

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
― Maya Angelou



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Sotto,
I've been off the board for over a week now and just caught up on your recent news. I'm sorry to hear about your divorce being final, but I'm so glad to hear that you are at peace. You are very deserving of some serenity. Thanks for all of your support and I do hope you stick around even if you move to another part of the forum. Take care!


Me- 30's H- 40's
T-10 M-5
I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15
D filed by H: September 16
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Ah, thank you so much guys. Well, I have to say the free, light, done feeling has persisted and I'm happy enough to be D'd. There is a great deal of peace in knowing that you DB'd your socks off, invested hours, tried to absorb everything, were willing to repair things etc. Truly there is and I have no regrets.

As we've accepted an offer on our house now, I'm house hunting myself. As my landlord has now said he wants to sell this flat and would be willing to sell to me, I'm waiting to see what price he wants. The choice is do I buy this flat and stay put or buy a house and have a little outside space. The flat is central and with great views, but outside space would be lovely too - I've missed that. I've been getting out and walking around to see what else is out there. Viewed a nice place today and seeing another (house) in my complex tomorrow....watch this space.

Now then, as for NG at work. Yes, we are still chatting and yes he seems interested and yes I like him too. A colleague told me some more about his D circumstances and he was a LBS who was told - I love you...but more like a brother. His XW is now with a guy who drives a fancy car and has a pool. I also learned another astounding thing from my colleague - that NG's dad is a life peer (a baron) and that NG could use the title Hon. If he chose to - how have I known him so many years and didn't know that??!

So, I move forward and I very much feel like leaving XH behind now. There is no place for him as he is now, in my life - that's for sure. Any ways...he's boring...let's get back to houses....will keep you posted xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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Hi Sotto,

I just got caught up with you and see I am a little late in saying I am sorry about the final peppers coming. None of us chose or wanted this place, that's for sure.

You have been an inspiration to me here, I consider you one of my friends here who has held my hand through the toughest times of my life. You are no failure, you, like others on here who stood by their beliefs, morals and values, are a true success story. D does not change that for me whatsoever.

Like each stage we go through on this journey, I say give it some time to settle and for you to get comfortable with. Each step seems to take some time, nothing to rush into.

I like your friendship with NG. Enjoy the attention and go at your own pace. Sounds like you both have things in common.

Much love to you Sotto. Please come by when you can to lend your advice, it's appreciated by all here.


Me 48 H 46 S 11
M 2004
BD 8/13
H moved out 2/15
-live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
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Papers not peppers. Sorry, I really miss the edit button.


Me 48 H 46 S 11
M 2004
BD 8/13
H moved out 2/15
-live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
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MLeigh, thanks so much for your kind words. Yes, our M didn't survive, but I don't feel like a failure. In fact, I think I have grown a lot and I feel my confidence is higher than for a while, which is great.

So, now for the big news - I had an offer accepted on a house!! I viewed a few last week, but there was a stroke of luck with this one. It's in the same complex as my flat - a pretty, courtyard mews house right in the heart of town. It came on the market a month or so ago and sold for the full asking price within a day. I noticed it had come back on again late Saturday afternoon and caught the agent just before they closed. I fixed up a viewing yesterday and was the first in after the other buyer dropped out - offered the full asking price and secured it - I'm so thrilled and think it will be perfect for me as I love this location. I should be moving around August time.

Seems a lot is happening for me in the past month. These sitches are funny - months of very little, then everything unfolds all at once....

Well, best get busy as I'm working from home today. Salsa class tonight, then travelling tomorrow for work. Lovely sunny day here. Xxx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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Great news about the new home Sotto. Great to read such s positive post too

Have a great day

Take care. Rd. xxx

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Sotto,

Congratulations on the home purchase! I'm so happy for you and you have so much to look forward to in the coming months. Your positive attitude is shining brightly and only good things will come your way from now own.

I'm very proud of you!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Congrats on the house! And the new guy sounds like he might understand what you have been through, it seems like it would be good for you to keep getting to know him.


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



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That's great Sotto! So happy for you that you found a nice house in a good spot. That will be so much fun to get it set up just how you like it! Congrats!


M-51 H-54
2D-27 and 25
M-26 yrs
Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15
He moved out 10-3-15
D filed 1-27-16
D final 10-27-16

Kindness, kindness, kindness.
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