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LoisB Offline OP
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Job,

That was the loveliest Birthday gift! Thank you for the kind words.

I just got a promotion today. I'm earning about $400 shy, annually, off what I earned in NY. What a difference a year makes. Life is good.


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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Congratulations on the promotion! The cost of living should be less than in NY...correct? You're paycheck will soon be back up to what it was in NY.

Don't second guess yourself....you are stronger than you think. Keep moving forward!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Woo hoo Lois! Nice job on that promotion!!

And happy birthday. Be sure to take time to savor all your amazing, hard work!!!


Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced
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Hope both you ladies enjoy a little birthday fun! So much to celebrate and enjoy in your beautiful corner of the world. Hats off to you and Louisa for blooming where you have been planted. Surviving and thriving and growing into exquisite steel magnolias.


M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters
BD: 5/14
Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW
D Final 9/17

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
― Maya Angelou



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Happy Birthday, Heather! And congratulations on your promotion!


M:50
H:52
S28 (my S from previous marriage)
M:17 + 3
BD: 06/12
S: 06/12 - H works in another state
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LoisB Offline OP
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Thanks for the birthday wishes!!!!!

Having an awesome day so far. Going out to dinner with my aunt later for some traditional southern cooking :-)

Still hafta stay focused to get some work done. Blah.

Looking like I can purchase a car in the next few weeks. Looking at the responsible choices... Accord, Civic, Ford Focus, etc... Also, considering a cute little used blue Beetle. It would be super fun. Not sure yet which it will be.

Matt sent me a Happy B'day text. Strange and sad. I took some Job advice and asked how he was. He said Okay, asked about the kids and the pets. Always with the pets!

I told him: "It's hard to fill you in, because so much has happened. You've missed a lot. I don't mean that as a slam, but it's the truth. Cal is doing great at her job. I'm super proud of her. Louisa is plain awesome. It hasn't been easy, but I'm proud of all of us. Things are settling down and I'm grateful.

I received... "All three of you girls are awesome. I'm sorry I've missed out. Take care and have a good birthday."

I took the cue that the convo was over. So freakin sad. He has missed 4.5 years of his daughters' lives.

I'm not going to dwell on it. I had this moment of... "Whatta incredibly sad person" and I was able to send back some kindness for whatever hell inside of him created this nightmare for us all. Still feel that tug when he reaches out... always on a holiday... that tug of love for the core of the person inside.

I've grown so much. I can't believe I'm considering buying a car all by my lonesome. No man, no parents, not a single person rescuing me. Just lil' ol me. It made me even sadder for the man who walked away... because I'm so freakin awesome and so are my kids.


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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Happy birthday and congratulations! You have worked so very hard and I can see so much growth in just the short time I've been on here. Wishing you a day filled with serenity xoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Thanks Butterfly. It was a really nice birthday.

This has been the most painful and most rewarding experience of my life. I like who I am today. I can't say that about the woman I was... I tolerated a lot of abuse and neglect and hid from the world.

His issues forced me to face my issues, and I'm better for it. He is still lost, I feel found.


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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Feeling a little weirded out. I've had a lot of interaction with Matt this week and it just feels strange after so much no contact. He initiated three text conversations. He also ended the conversations and I took his cue and didn't respond.

A strange feeling. I don't see any real movement, except the fact he reached out to me three times. But, it's his "thing" to reach out on holidays. I don't know. I was honest, but not offensive.

At one point, he thanked me for posting FB pics of Louisa on her birthday. He caught me at a moment when I was feeling upset about Louisa's lack of birthday wishes from her grandparents. Nothing from my mother, except on my FB account. An empty card from my dad and nada from Matt's parents. I was talking to a friend about my frustration, when he texted me.

Matt hasn't seen her in several years. I commented that I was feeling angry that she has three affluent sets of grandparents and she only received one card from one set, and no gifts. I think that's crappy. She's 14 and hasn't done anything to deserve being treated like that.

Matt was actually pretty supportive. When he asked which parents, I was honest and said that his parents haven't acknowledged Louisa in several years and it was my dad, on his return from wine tasting in the Napa Valley, who only sent an empty card.

I vented to him. I guess that's part of what feels weird. I vented to him and I haven't in so long. I did say that maybe it's not so bad. Louisa doesn't get the gifts Cal got growing up, but she also doesn't have to deal insanity--and I included Matt in that. He said he understood and wrapped up the convo--which was good. I was feeling emotional and tired and coulda said something much worse.

I took the cue. Got myself something to eat. Calmed down. Feeling a bit better, but still sorta weird for getting honest with this alien person and saying maybe a bit too much than I needed to. Exposed myself.


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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Heather,
Maybe Matt is realizing what he's lost. Maybe he's trying to understand you better and what you are dealing with. As for all of the grandparents...you know what they've been like, so you need to keep your expectation to zero and if they do something, well, then....wow!

I'm so sorry that your daughter wasn't recognized properly on her birthday...but the most important that did was you, her mother. That's what is important to her the most.

I'm going to caution you to be careful when venting to Matt. Sometimes we tend to over talk too much about things and that's when they find out things about us...unless, of course, you want him to know what's going on in your life.

Again, you can't change or control what the grandparents do. The only person you can change and/or control is you and how you deal w/them.

Enjoy the holiday weekend.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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