Now what?/ One Day at a Time

[melweb]

I know there is not a lot of traffic over here on Piecing, but hoping for some insight/ideas nonetheless.

My sitch in a nutshell (in case you don't want to read my thread in Newcomers):
11/9/15 BD ILYBNILWY--H is leaving me after the holidays. I DB'd for two months, when H says he is not leaving (1/2/16) and I do not have to live in fear. No proof of EA or PA. Lots of R talks, date nights, sex, he thanks me for fighting for and saving marriage. We know we have lots of work to do. But we talk of future plans, and our hopes and goals for our M. January was awesome.

By Feb, I am starting to feel like he is pulling back. Said our marriage is questionable (he was drinking when he said this). I feel like an OSF might have been taken to a new level, as he guards his phone and is always on it. I still get plenty of "babes", "hons', and "sweethearts." I get "I love you" or "love you." Yesterday, I got coffee in bed

My feelings are all over the map, as is my imagination. And I just do not know what to say, when it sounds like he is changing his mind/fence sitting. So far I just nod and say "I understand." He wants "passion all the time, and wants to think of me even at work."

I know the road to reconciliation is not going to be an easy one, but I at least thought we were on the same highway. Now I am not so sure.

I have maintained my 180s, and I just got a job to help with my GAL, and joined a gym--which we have been going to together.

Any words of wisdom here would be much appreciated.

[daybyday]

Just keep up gal and detach a bit. Don't let him see that it stresses you. When I was able to get my W back 8 years ago, it was like i was fishing, I had caught her and was reeling her in. Then she would grow a little distant and take some line back out. Eventually the line she took out was less than I took in and I won her back. Unfortunately I didnt do enough I guess to keep her as I am back in worse condition. Good luck

[melweb]

Thanks Day. I am so sorry you are in a worse position. Gosh, did you think that was even possible?

I have decided to pull back a little. H is out of town on biz, and I have not reached out to him. I guess it does feel like like fishing, except he can't seem to decide what bait he seems to prefer.

I will give him some space--though this part is scary with possible EA. I obviously do not want to encourage that.

Are back in Newcomers?

[daybyday]

I did not think it was possible but it's always in the back of your mind. I had some dramatic things go on with both of my parents at the same time. That caused me tremendous stress and I kind of withdrew. Instead of compassion for that time she has decided to use that against me. That's what hurts. But, she is still in house and we still love each other, but ILYBNILY still applies. Working hard at 180's, again. Have dropped about 30lbs. on the Divorce diet. lol

That sounds like a pretty good plan. They are really still a little foggy even when they decide to return.