I guess te issue is I don't want te cat but I am holding onto it because we got it? And she will judge if I get rid of it? I am not sure why I care. I have had 2 friends offer to take her without me complaining about her.
Sounds silly but does it prove anything to W if I keep it get rid of the cat? Also. Why do I care?
It's not silly Tyler....its just a reminder of what was....and you still are cognizant of doing the right thing whether she is there or not. And if you did get rid of the cat and she judged you....uh.....TS. :-)
_________________________ Me-48 Spouse-WAW 52 Married for 10 years D7 ILYBNILWY 7/15 Suspect EA/PA 12/15 No confirmation/denial She files 1/2016 Working towards the Big D ...still in progress....
Having a thought/ realization that is small but gives me hope for the future.
After Bday, I can't remember how long after, I decided that to make myself more attractive to W I would grow and maintain a goatee. I have always been clean shaven and times when I did let it grow out a bit she liked it. So I did just that. And it was met with positivity. She told me it looked good and it wasn't fair. That made me feel good. I kept it for months.
Last weekend I decided I would shave it off. I was tired of Maintaining it etc. also thought hey I might get a comment from W. Not sure why I wanted it but I did. Anyway. She never said a word... But also. Not one of my kids said a word, not any friends. No one noticed at all. and that is fine.
Then I realized. I liked it. It started out as something for W. I look at myself and think. I liked that, time to grow it again. Makes me feel better.
This realization showed me that changes no matter how small that may have started because of S do become something for you. The bigger te change te longer I suppose. But it makes me happy to feel like te changes I have made if they aren't for me already will be soon enough. Just don't give up on them or you may miss who you have become
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
I guess te issue is I don't want te cat but I am holding onto it because we got it? And she will judge if I get rid of it? I am not sure why I care. I have had 2 friends offer to take her without me complaining about her.
Tyler, if you have 2 people that want to take the cat off your hands, LET THEM! The cat can be a wonderful companion for you , but if you don't want it, then give it to someone who does. The cat deserves to have love just like you do. First tell your W that you don't have time for the cat and it's lonel because it misses the dog. Ask her if she want's it. If she says no, tell her that you're giving it to a friend. Then, give it to your friend. How can your W get mad if you gave her first shot at it??
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
been doing great since my little melt down Sunday after seeing W. The weekend with the boys was awesome. And I have been in amazing moods waking up this week. Not sure if it's good sleeps or just getting better.
I walk around whistling lately and it makes me happier for whatever reason. Lol. School is tough but I'm taking it all in. Eating well. Keeping aclean house. Relaxing too, which is new because for the last 4 months I have been trying to occupy myself all the time.
I don't feel any need to respond to random texts from W. Yesterday she txt me saying S1 was grumpy all day and she didn't know why. I responded without offering advice or trying to fix it. Just said it's frustrating hope he gets better kind of thing. Today she texted he is teething 2 more teeth that's why he was being a turd yesterday. I didn't see any need to respond. Still don't. Part of me feels like I should but it's habit. Part of me feels if I don't respond it's like I don't care about S but I know that's not true and babies teeth, he is going to for awhile still. What is responding going to do other than keep me attached to her and fill needs she wants from me. And that isn't happening until A is over.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Oh. I also have to 2nd the earlier idea about your cat. A though we tend to think of cats as being solitary animals, they are social and need companions. If neither you nor your W wants the cat, take one of your friends up on their offer to take the cat. It deserves a home where it will have so.e companionship whether human or similar to previous with dog.
Me:44 W:38 T:10.5 M:7.5 D:3 BD: 7/2015 W moves out of MBR: 9/2015 WW files for D: 2/8/2016
I was talking to IC today and I get the feeling from her she thinks I am taking the detaching too far. I told her about not responding to the teething thing and though she understands what I am trying to do and that it is up to me to respond or not. That she was just filling me in on what is bothering S1 not necessarily looking for me to be a ear to listen.
I feel a little confused like maybe I am going to far with it sometimes and I should have responded to her telling me why S1 was in a bad mood Monday.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
