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angel r Offline OP
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well this feb 1 was our second anniversary of being married. I totally forgot. I guess is a good sign that I have definitely drop the rope.


Me:26 WW:26
RELATIONSHIP - 5 YRS
MARRIED-1YR 11months
BD:9/14/2015
divorce filed 1/6/15
DAUGHTER- 3YRS
DAUGHTER - 1yr
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 218
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angel r Offline OP
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well had another great weekend with my daughters. The affection my older daughter the 3yr old is amazing, my little one (1yr old) has started walking. We had fun saturday and sunday. Unfortunately my older daughter wasnt feeling to good on sunday. She threw up and i txt her mother informing her of what happen. I told her if she threw up again i might take her to the DR. or bring her back home. Welp she threw up 3 times after that. I notified her mom and she asked me if she had fever , which she didnt. She then suggested that the best idea was to bring her home. She asked me if i was at my house because she needed some clothing cutter she had left at my house. This is the second time she requested me to bring her something from my house. I just wanted to tell her NO I AM NOT YOUR TAXI , YOU WILL WAIT UNTIL MEDIATION" But i was actually at my mothers at the time. so i told her i wasnt home.

Everytime i see her i seem to stutter a lot. (Which [censored])
I dont feel anything anymore when i see her. What ever happens happens. I dont feel that love towards that woman anymore. Although i get these mix emotions , i would still take her back.Deep inside me I love this woman until the end.


Me:26 WW:26
RELATIONSHIP - 5 YRS
MARRIED-1YR 11months
BD:9/14/2015
divorce filed 1/6/15
DAUGHTER- 3YRS
DAUGHTER - 1yr
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,450
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Angel, I don't know how I missed your post from January, but I was going to come look for you today when I saw you had posted in Ancaire's thread!

I'm sorry W played games with you over your daughter's birthday. You should document this entire event including the photos and tell your L, because it seems that this was carefully planned to keep you away from the birthday party so she can control the information. If you showed up and paid for a birthday party, she wouldn't be able to tell her family and friends what a deadbeat you are, right?

Something else jumped out at me. You said you would take your daughter to the doc or 'back home'. You don't want W to be able to say in court that 'he can't handle it when kid gets sick, then he dumps her off with me again.' That will also look very odd if you are claiming that W abuses the children - you wouldn't see her place as a safe place for them, right? I know that they are there 90% of the time anyway, but every minute you can have them, keeps them away from the abuse you have described.

Your home is your daughters' home. That is 'home', where they lived until your W took them away to. You are a good father and can take good care of them. Giving birth makes a good mother as much as standing in a garage makes you a car - it's the actions that count.

Best wishes!


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 218
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angel r Offline OP
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thanks painter for the advise. You are right on the whole bringing her back home. I should have just kept them until it was time to drop them off. It was 430 pm when i drop them off and I only have them until 6pm so i figured my daughter needed to rest and get some sleep to feel better, poor baby.

I will surely bring up the whole party event at court. Seems like she is just playing games with me, in court she said i was more then welcome to come to her party. I was even offered to help her plan it. Then last minute she cancels everything and lies.

Well mediation is on the 15th of this month, i guess thats where we decided who keeps what and how much money goes where. I know she is going to take half of everything, oh well! I am just ready to get this over with. I dont want any ties to her anymore. I am ready to move forward with my life with or without her. I never thought i would be in this situation. My commitment to her was 100% real. At times it's hard to comprehend whats really going on. yeah i do miss her, im not going to lie. But this is her decision not mine. I am glad work is keeping me busy and new opportunities are arising which is always a blessing even on these hard times.


Me:26 WW:26
RELATIONSHIP - 5 YRS
MARRIED-1YR 11months
BD:9/14/2015
divorce filed 1/6/15
DAUGHTER- 3YRS
DAUGHTER - 1yr
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,450
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Work is a lifesaver!

Best of luck on the 15th - keep us posted!


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 218
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angel r Offline OP
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well we finally had mediation. We both arrived at 0930 am and left the building at 5pm. We did not agree with anything. She refused taking any anger management classes. According to my L my W was getting loud with the mediator and the L because i filed income tax separately and not jointly in order to get more money back. I thought it was funny. I had emailed W 3 weeks ago about income tax and was asking her to either file jointly or separately and i wanted to see if i could file jointly. She ignored my email and never answered , after 4 days i went ahead and took the decision to file separately.

My W said she couldnt afford paying for the anger management classes. I told the mediator i would pay for them. She refused to go anyway unless i would also take the classes. I have no anger issues whats so ever. She is accusing me of getting in front of her face once and cornering her. I have never done such thing, i cracked up when my L told me that. WOW!

Mediator got mad because we couldnt come to any agreement all day. My L told that was normal , thats their job and their main goal is to have an agreement by the end of the day. My W wanted to set up a day to pickup her stuff like clothes and shoes , i told my L i didnt want her to come to my house until we went to court and resolved everything. My L advised me that would look bad on me and make me look like a D**** so i gave her the option of coming either thursday or friday and if she failed to come she would have to wait until court.

I got word my W made a police report because I stalked her. That was 5 months ago when i had no idea where my daughters were living and I followed her and found out she was living in a women shelter.

My L is gathering all my evidence and subpoena her mother, we are going to use her as a witness ( she doesnt know)
Court day is on the 25th so it's going to be Armageddon. Which also happens to be on my birthday , what a coincidence.

To be honest I am ready but at the same time I am scared.


Me:26 WW:26
RELATIONSHIP - 5 YRS
MARRIED-1YR 11months
BD:9/14/2015
divorce filed 1/6/15
DAUGHTER- 3YRS
DAUGHTER - 1yr
Joined: Sep 2014
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Stay strong buddy, resist the urge to be a smartass or a dick.

I wish you all the best...

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Hi Angel,

Thanks for the update. It sounds like it went pretty well all things considered, even if you didn't come to an agreement. (I think that was unlikely, given the way you've described W).

Make sure you have a witness there when she comes to the house, you would not want to be alone with her. Pack up all her stuff and have it ready. Make a list and have her sign for it, so she can't accuse you of having something later. She does not get to take the kids' stuff. It's their home and they need it for when they are with you.

What is the focus of court coming up - custody or D?
How is your L going to use your MIL's testimony? What if she lies? Will you have any witnesses that are on your side?

And how are you coping? It sounds like you are finding strength - I hope that is the case.


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,450
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Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,450
And go to the anger management classes! If it makes her go and can benefit your kids, why wouldn't you? Show the court that you put the kids ahead of your own ego. How seriously will they take your abuse allegations if you can't take a class to help them? You will learn what she learns, which is valuable information anyway.
Was parenting classes not an option?


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 218
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angel r Offline OP
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Last wednesday my L informed me my W mother was severed and she wasnt too happy. She got even more mad when the server told her if she didnt show up we would have police come and pick her up. I know and I am 100% sure they are both furious. They never expected anything from me. W never expected i would get myself a L and take her to the extreme in court. She doesnt expect this from a guy who is calm, doesnt like confrontation , always settles, always agrees to her , always quiet. NOT ANYMORE.

This weekend I had my daughters and I had a feeling it was going to be tense after mediation and her mother getting served. Of course , when i arrived they opened the door but i got the clue that they didnt want me to step a foot in the house because they brought everything out. I thought it was funny. I had a wonderful weekend with my daughters. Sat i took them to the playground again and we also celebrated my bday early since i wont see them on my bday. Today Sun i took them to church like every sunday. My 3yr old has been more and more attached to me then ever before, I LOVE IT!! They mean the world to me.

So today i dropped them off, and i said good bye to them frown
10 min later i get a txt from W "Bella is missing her Disney Frozen hair bow"..... I just didnt reply since i really thought it was stupid. 15 min later i get another txt from W " Sophia is missing her headband too"

It seems like she was looking to argue? well im not the same guy so i just plainly ignored the txt. I know that made her mad. was it really necessary for her to txt me that? it's not important!! I thought it was amusing. Anyway i bought myself a nice dark color maroon suit for court this coming thursday, I look pretty nice i have to say. smile

Blessings to everyone!


Me:26 WW:26
RELATIONSHIP - 5 YRS
MARRIED-1YR 11months
BD:9/14/2015
divorce filed 1/6/15
DAUGHTER- 3YRS
DAUGHTER - 1yr
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