went shooting with H and S 11 on Saturday. My IC appointment was canceled and my desire to be nicely dressed was shut down by the cold breeze and the fact that it was an outdoor range. Had fun..no issues at all. Came home to get my kids ready for S8 (asoftoday) birthday party. Had fun playing laser tag. H went home to get his books and came back to my house. He was going to watch the boys so I can sleep. As soon as he walked in I went to bed. Got up Sunday went shopping for superbowl snacks and such. H took S17 shooting and I cooked, Anyhoo family came over around 3ish. Right before game H starts rehashing things. I told him I have let the past go and will not go back to visit it and left. Took a bath..calmed myself down..then went down and acted as if It did not bug me. I even helped him with some oil for his ear. He took a ton of leftovers and left. He was talking to my sister telling her that I refused to work and that was what the straw that broke the camel's back. To be honest. I did not refuse to work, I refused to apply for a job in a new state without knowing where we were moving,what school and schedule my boys had, and lastly the schedule H was going to have. He says I did things backwards. Which is why we are so incompatible. Oh and the kicker..the boys can and should walk home by themselves. On the plus..my BIL told me the reason he won't go shooting with H is because he will not reward his bad behavior. He is upset that since separation H has bought about 7 guns while I am working day and nights to make sure the boys are good. It felt nice to know he was on my side. So while all interaction was not great..it was not horrible and things did not escale
You handled your situation very well. I don't blame you, I wouldn't want to continue to rehash stuff over and over again.
Again, he's making excuses for why he's walked. I don't blame you. I wouldn't have applied for a job in a new state until I knew all of the particulars. Again, it's an excuse. Tomorrow it could be the sky is pink.
As for your BIL, I agree...why reward bad behavior. As for the guns, you can see what his priority is right now and it's not ensuring that the boys and you have $$$ for the things you need.
So, over all, it went better than expected. I'm very proud of the way you handled yourself. Keep up the good work!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
They can do and say some really off the wall things. Maybe he's looking at you as a friend right now and not his wife. Then again, he may not have even realized what he said. Sometimes comments just slip out w/o any thought. I would just take that comment w/a grain of salt.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
He has offered twice.I just find it weird. I get he wants me to sleep but in what world is that normal?? but then again who goes shooting and bruises her jaw? and cracks her glasses? this gal.. but hey it just made it a memorable outing for S11 lol
I am a bit delirious with work ... but hey you know things are getting better when you know that if it rains..tfish did it..If it snows..tfish did it..if there is a bug on your windshield...tfish did it. Anything that can and will go wrong.. is my fault....You are welcome lol
Oh! So you are the reason for the messy weather coming my way tomorrow! LOL! Just kidding!
Please try not to take what he says personally because his little brain in bouncing off his skull and the wires are all tangled up. Remind yourself of this...you are the sane one right now. You can't control and/or fix him...he has to do this all on his own.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
My Fault..I take the blame lol. I used to accept all the blame. It was a 100% my fault. Not anymore. I tell him it takes two to tango. I have moved past the past and will not go back. There is no point in rehashing it. This man cannot remember anything he says or does..I am to the point of laughing this torture off.I agree with the whole men are from mars..women are from venus spiel. This experience has been eye opening. I know validate my S17..My H..My sister and anyone else that comes along and guess what? Not having the drama or feeding into it..is doing wonders for me. For now my H can keep spinning in his rotisserie oven while I stand for my boys.
Finally! I can now figure out why all the bad things happen in this world LOL.
It's funny when it's so obvious what they are doing. When you can do nothing right. I recall those days and I agree with job - the brain is bouncing around looking for an answer as to "why" he is so unhappy. It couldn't "possibly" be him.
It's a process though. For now he blames you. What do you suppose he'll do if that doesn't work (and how could it? It's NOT you )
Hang in there, tfish!
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
LOL. 
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