Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks for asking. I am doing okay, how are you? Yesterday he came over to visit the kids for a couple of hours and it was uncomfortable and very strained. It almost felt like having a stranger in the house.There was nothing to talk about. My son was extremely anti social and very upset that his dad was in the house. The strange part was that he told me how happy he felt being back in the house and how much he missed it. He also said that he knew that he wasn't ready to be at home with us. He seems to be quite content to be at his mother's house, running her errands for her and having lunch dates. She loves having him back at home as she is lonely and wants the company. In some ways it angers me that she has absolutely no concern for the well being of the children. Not once has she contacted any of them. She knows I am doing everything on my own and has turned a blind eye to her son's part in all of this. On the other hand, I guess it's better that she isn't contacting me and interfering. Today is my day off and I am trying to relax and take care of some laundry and some reading. This afternoon I have my first appointment with a personal trainer, oh boy.
Mommy loves having her son there because he's doing everything for her from running errands to being there as a companion, i.e., keeping her company. She's certainly not worried about anyone but herself and her needs. Sounds a lot like a NPD personality.
As for your h, he's got a lot of issues to resolve. I can just imagine just how uncomfortable and strained it was. You really don't have a whole lot to talk about right now because both of you are living separate lives. Your son isn't happy w/his father and what has transpired over the years. It's unfortunate that your son feels the way he does and your h will have to figure out how to repair that bridge in the near future. It may be that it can't be repaired but let's hope it can to some extent.
I think you will enjoy working w/a personal trainer. You'll be sore for a while, but it will be worth the hard work.
Bottom line...take care of yourself and I know you are there for your children. Enjoy the time you spend w/them because they grow up so fast!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Sort of [censored] when they don't live up to expectations or even minimums. Recall the old saying here Mire, You cannot change them...at first its a way to protect yourself when you first get here. Later its sort of sad for different reasons. Not sure what to say here except sorry that you're at this point. Sorry your H isn't living up to his end. But, I know you'll be fine no matter what happens. You will be golden.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
well, there's not too much to say. Everything is status quo. Going to the gym helps clear my head and gives me some personal goals. Sometimes I think too much and allow the monsters to come out and play. I know there are many people who have read my thread and think I am nuts for making my husband leave especially when they are trying so hard to make theirs come home again. I remember those days all too well. I remember being on my knees daily, praying for a miracle that my marriage would be saved. And I guess for a short time it was. But marriages take two people who are willing to try. When only one person is doing all of the work it gets exhausting, and eventually there is no more energy left to try. The word cherished comes to mind. I always wanted to feel that.I have friends who seem to have that in their marriages. Maybe I've seen too many Hallmark movies, but I wanted a husband who loved me completely, and I don't think mine can. He really is a broken man and he never grew up. I've been giving a lot of thought to the past 30 years and those damned rose colored glasses definitely got their money's worth.
I don't think you are nuts at all. You can only carry the load so long and then it gets too heavy to continue. Marriage does take two to make it work successfully. I also know where you are coming from w/the rose colored glasses! Been there and done that one too.
Be kind to yourself, learn to take some time for yourself and do something that you normally wouldn't do for YOU. YOU owe it to yourself!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Job, I have a long weekend planned which is good. I like staying busy. I am allowing my son to get a puppy, so we are busy getting the house prepared for his arrival.It will be good for him to have some responsibility. Other than that, things are quiet and I am happy without any added drama in my life. The kids have the whole of next week off from school so I am hoping to get some time off from work so we can do some fun things. My Husband changed his address to his mother's house, so I guess slowly but surely things are moving forward.
It's Monday, and I have the day off from work I worked about 60 hours this week and am going to take it easy today.
I received some texts yesterday from my sister in law. It seems like my Husbands brother is about to receive some legal paperwork soon. She is annoyed by the fact that she also is trying to get her husband to move in with his mother, but my husband is already there, and the brothers don't get along very well. My mother in law plays games and the two boys are always vying to get their mother's attention. I personally think it would be her ultimate wish to have her two boys living at home with her without any horrible daughter in laws interfering.
The new puppy is very cute, and the kids are enjoying him immensely. I forgot how much work was involved in training a new puppy.
Sounds like your MIL is going to have both of her sons back under her roof, i.e., one big happy family reunion. It will be very interesting in that household if they both are back home.
What kind of puppy did you get? I'm sure that all of you will enjoy the little fur baby and yes, it takes a lot of time and patience to train a new puppy. Be sure to put your shoes in the closet as they do love to chew!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
