I can't believe this..I was so happy last night when I saw that all of us were online at the same time and what do I do? I fall a-freakin-sleep! Ugh
Shame on me.
Thanks guys. Maybe it isn't true. I have no idea. With XF you never know and that's just how it is.
And NYG...he really does need counseling. And I can't be with him now even if he wanted me too. His mentality on cheating is scary. He knows its wrong and that he hurt me and that it (his words) cost him everything, however, we had a calm talk and he said ow and cam girls made him feel good when I didn't. He was quite serious. As if that makes it okay.
I won't live a life walking on eggshells. I'm human..there will be disagreements and if he decides I'm not making him feel a certain way at any given time then he will seek it elsewhere. He said "that's not necessarily true". And I say with our recent history thats such a huge possibility and I want none of that. I paid my A dues. Enough is enough.
Is he just trying to get me over to the dark side? Possible. Because then he can have one of those Rs where he loves me and has his family and "takes care of home" plus he gets to dip his stick on occasion. Well, he can have it, but not with me. I stupidly did it once trying to "stand by my man". Not again.
Rain (moi): 40 Ex Fiance: 39 3 kids On/off again EA & PA Last BD by ow 12/15 Moved kids and myself back into our own place: 12/15
I dont believe him..I think it was because you were alittle sassy(not in a bad way) when you said the video app was for both of your new friends. I think it made him really wonder what you have it for and it got to him.
I think your response to ignore him and keep talking was PERFECT and I KNOW that must have been hard! Good job!
I dont believe him..I think it was because you were alittle sassy(not in a bad way) when you said the video app was for both of your new friends. I think it made him really wonder what you have it for and it got to him.
I think your response to ignore him and keep talking was PERFECT and I KNOW that must have been hard! Good job!
Hi Rednail!..funny you stopped by, I was reading your thread a couple of days ago and I laughed with your explanation of your conversation with H while folding laundry and the "old me" way you would have answered him.
As for my XF, all of the scenarios you all have put out there may be true. But who knows he's an enigma that one.
Hahahaha I finally learned the art of STFU after 24 years. I still struggle with sometimes but I'm 80% better then usual.
Men are confusing. Have you read the book men are from mars, women are from venus? Im reading it now and it is pretty spot on in how I will see something vs how he would see something. If you type men are from mars, women are from venus pdf into google the first link that is like annukusayang.com/ blah blah well if you click it the pdf pops open right on your phone to read for free if you have adobe acrabat.
Okay so I can finally post the crazy. The crazy that I believe was meant to make me question my decision to not accept his offer. So this is from the night he went out and I told him to call a cab if he needs to and to have fun. He initially just replied "thank you".
About a half hour later I get this...
-You know it [censored] that I can't even call you .. Hope you enjoy your night love .. I wish things were different... I am sorry for all that I have done... I hope tomorrow when I go over that we can have a good time together..All of us .. I love you and always will ...
Then 2 pictures. One of us with the kids when our youngest were about a month old..the other from when first got together.
I text him..."Xf! Aren't you out? Hun it's a little rude to be texting. But love and sex have never been our problems. Have a great night.
Him: I hope something I said got through to you ..(<<<<really!!!) Him: Yeah I am and the guys are telling me to get off my phone
Me: XF I was so in love with you in that pic! And time flies. They were so tiny (kids pic) Me: lol then maybe you should
Him: I'm sorry for all I have done... I'm just thinking about how upset my kids were..Hope you and the kids enjoy. . I will be there tomorrow right after work ...
Me: Have fun, and okay, see you tomorrow...the kids never napped so they're going to sleep now. Then it's my night i hope we both enjoy our nights.
Him: It would be nice if you would just lay next to me tomorrow Him: I can't wait to spend time with them and see you Him: I hope that we can have a good time together tomorrow.
Me: Hun...go! Have fun.
Him: Ok these guys are trying to take my phone away .. I let you know when I get home. .I love you. .
Me: Be safe
He seemed to miss us and be in touch with his feelings. Thinking about me when he was out drinking. Awww. Then the next day he says some crazy crap. No expectations. No expectations etc
Hahahaha I finally learned the art of STFU after 24 years. I still struggle with sometimes but I'm 80% better then usual.
Men are confusing. Have you read the book men are from mars, women are from venus? Im reading it now and it is pretty spot on in how I will see something vs how he would see something. If you type men are from mars, women are from venus pdf into google the first link that is like annukusayang.com/ blah blah well if you click it the pdf pops open right on your phone to read for free if you have adobe acrabat.
No, actually, I haven't. I have so many books to get through but I'll add it to the list. Thanks. And who knew?! STFU could help us and reduce the tension with our SO...oh right...every vet here that tries to get it across to all newbies. LOL
And another bonus is that even if you aren't detached (Im not...yet) it gives the illusion that you are.
It looks like a good step in the right direction. Just make sure that you don't jumping too easily, he needs to work harder to get you.
I envy you as I wish STBXH would send me such messages, and I know it'll never happen because he is with OW and has moved on. Now my turn to do the same.
It looks like a good step in the right direction. Just make sure that you don't jumping too easily, he needs to work harder to get you.
I envy you as I wish STBXH would send me such messages, and I know it'll never happen because he is with OW and has moved on. Now my turn to do the same.
I'm sorry Rouky....if it helps at all XF was very cold, very detached, very uncaring during his A. That fog is amazing. This is on many levels normal (how sweet and loving he always was before A) and shocking, because like I said, It's the complete opposite of who he had been during A. And it leaves me confused but no worries, I've no intention of being with him. He can't give me what I want and need right now. (ever?) not sure.
The ow excitement and A fog does fall away if my sitch is any indicator. I was told heart breaking things during. He loved ow and wanted to marry her. Loved me as his children's mother only. He only felt happy when he was around ow and depressed being around me, he wanted me to date and leave him alone and many more. Writing that I can't even believe I stayed.
I need some 180s that are not XF related. And to write down my short term and long term life goals. And then figure out what steps I need to do to accomplish them.
Rain, I don't quite understand. I know your XF isn't the same now, and I also know that you being aloof is the best thing you can do for yourself and for your R. You have good boundaries, I guess. It's ironic because it seems that our best chance of reconciling is to not care anymore. That's so bizarre to me!
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
