Tyler, you seem like you're doing great with detaching. I have been at it a bit longer than you and don't seem nearly as detached as you do. You're doing great and seem to have a good attitude with all things considered.
I think it's awesome that you're going to try to coach handball at the HS! It would definitely keep your mind occupied and would be so much fun. It is NOT a waste of time to volunteer your time. Your boss sounds like an idiot! He should have given you a pat on the back for trying to help kids, not make you feel like you're doing something wrong. That's one of the best GAL activities I've heard so far. . I hope they have an opening and can use you, you'll have to let us know.
What's the latest about your son's upcoming bday? Are you still planning to go to the indoor play area? Did W say if she was going to attend? I know you'll make it a special day for him.
Hang in there and keep posting. You're doing a great job!
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Some days I feel I am doing good detaching. Others not so much. I never realized it but I have detached before in a way. Old relationships and stuff I would just go dark. Cut ten out of my life and go on. The difference this time is its real love and family I am detaching from
I really hope handball works out. I miss coaching sports. W was always very supportive of it and was disappointed when I stopped. She liked coming with for tourneys and stuff. But I miss getting out with those kids and teaching them and seeing what you showed them used.
I am going to tell her when we meet for the boys Sunday. And I am not phrasing it like a question. It's what I want to do. If she mentions going to her place I will simply say I am not comfortable with that. I don't see a need to explain either. Even if she asks.
Again it means a lot to me you guys stopping by with support. Thanks.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Wanted to add. W had a bag of little crafts and finger paintings from daycare S3 had done when I picked them up. She said that I could have them and take them home. I said ok, your place getting full of them already? Haha. She said no, these are the first ones he has brought home. I'm not reading into it at all, just a nice gesture from W.
It is nice to get behaviour like that, at the same time things like that never stopped. She knows I'm a sucker for sentimental little things from the kids and nice gestures mean a lot to me. Through all of this she never stopped doing things like that which hurts because it feels like she does care, she's just moved on.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Some days I feel I am doing good detaching. Others not so much.
That's completely normal. You're forcing yourself to do something that doesn't feel natural and that you don't want. You're going to have good days and bad days. Eventually, the good days outnumber the bad days. Then, the bad days will get fewer and fewer. Or so they tell me. I'm not completely there yet. Heck, I'm not even close! You're doing great though. Keep it up!
Originally Posted By: Tyler12
I really hope handball works out. I miss coaching sports.
I am going to tell her when we meet for the boys Sunday. And I am not phrasing it like a question. It's what I want to do. If she mentions going to her place I will simply say I am not comfortable with that.
It really does sound like you have a great plan both with the GAL-handball, and with dealing with your W and your son's bday. I really hope both work out well.
I may not post on your thread much, but I always read it. .
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Going to take the boys to watch some hockey today and to get out of the house. Boys and I have had a good day playing so far.
I would love to go outside and play in the snow but there is a brutal wind today and won't make for a lot of fun. So we are going to get out and see some friends at hockey hopefully and give us a chance to get out and socialize a bit.
Mind is wandering to conversations W and I had before bday and I get upset with myself for not seeing this coming. I feel like if I had caught these and addressed them I wouldn't be dealing with this. On the other hand I starting to see this situation as a blessing of sorts. A chance to find my happiness again though I never knew I had lost it. To gain back my lust for life after falling into a boring sit at home rut.
It's not always easy to find the silver linings, but you will never find them if your not looking for them.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
For those that are afraid to GAL or go out because they don't think it will make a difference. Here is an exams of how good things can happen from going out. I took the boys to watch some hockey and we had fun visiting and playing. While there I was able to catch up with a couple old friends and had another friend invite me to come play hockey this afternoon and get out tonight too. So just need to find someone to watch the boys for a bit and I can go play. It's been awhile since I played. Hockey and I am excited for the chance
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
For those that are afraid to GAL or go out because they don't think it will make a difference. Here is an exams of how good things can happen from going out. I took the boys to watch some hockey and we had fun visiting and playing. While there I was able to catch up with a couple old friends and had another friend invite me to come play hockey this afternoon and get out tonight too. So just need to find someone to watch the boys for a bit and I can go play. It's been awhile since I played. Hockey and I am excited for the chance
Tyler, glad that you guys are having fun today! I do have a suggestion though.... You have been bored at home and looking forward to visiting with your boys and having fun with them. Might be better to tell your friend that tonight isn't a good time to play Hockey because you have your boys, then you can set a different time to play with him. That way you can spend all of your time with your boys while you have them, then have some time set up to play hockey when they are NOT there which will occupy some of your alone time as well. Just a thought.
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Your right MB. I have been looking forward to having the boys here. I always do. It's probably not the best time for me to be going out, it's conflicting tho as I always put things like this aside to spend time with family even when it was sitting around doing nothing, so I get eager when these things come up. On the other hand I miss not having my boys home all the time and need to focus on what's most important.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Yes, I do that as well. BUT, there is a difference here. Your boys don't live with you full time anymore. If this were something HUGE that only happens once a year or something you will never ever get the chance to do again, then yes, get a babysitter. But, when you're talking about something that you can just say "Hey, sorry this isn't a good night for that, can we do it next week?", well, that's the thing that you can put off until a day when your boys aren't with you and you will be home bored and trying to fill your time. Then, you get a 2 for 1 deal....you get your boys that you've been longing to see today, and on another day when you know you will be looking for ways to fill your time, you can go play hockey. It's a win win for you Tyler!
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
. I hope they have an opening and can use you, you'll have to let us know.