...then, of course, found out he was cheating just a week later. When will people wise up? We're all adults, please use your brain. If your spouse or SO says "I need space" or "I need a break" or "I need time alone" what that REALLY means is I want to start sleeping with another person and I'd like you to hang around as my plan B in case that doesn't work out. Please don't wear love blinders people. Please.
I didn't realize when my H said "I need space" what it meant. He seemed so depressed and we were already living apart. I honestly just thought that he was needing time to think about things. It sure didn't take me long to figure it out though! I knew within a week as well. Heartbreaking! I feel for your coworker and what we ALL know she's going through right now.
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
It's so rare that "I need space" really means someone wants space. It seems so common knowledge what it really is that I'm surprised at two things. One, that people still say it and , two, that people still fall for it.
So I guess when W said she needs more time alone, she actually meant more time with OW? Where do they get this playbook they all seem to know by heart?
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I don't think that needing space is automatically code for needing space to have an affair or already having an affair. Admittedly, some people may use it as such, though.
My (MLC) H told me he needed time apart, but when we discussed requirements for this time period, he very readily agreed that he would not be seeing anyone else. He said himself that such behavior would cause irretrievable damage and he would not do it. I know that I'm not supposed to trust anything he says according to many folks here, but I choose to believe him on this point.
So.... just because you hear the words, try not to jump straight to conclusions. Maybe there really is an affair, but it's not a given. Some people just really are lost and need time to sort out the mess in their heads.
Maybe I'm naive, but I'd rather think the best until proven otherwise.
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
My H is the most lost and in need of time person that could possibly exist, yet he had an OW on the side. Until I found the receipts and texts I would have bet my life on him never cheating.
