Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 2
M
mindful Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
M
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 2
They started out as friends, she is divorced and needed help with her house, her car, etc. In the beginning he told me about her and that he wanted to help her. I encouraged him to help her because he is a good man and he can fix almost anything. I naively thought that he could just be friends with this woman even though our marriage was derailing. Anyhow, hindsight is 20/20 and I see things much more clearly now.

This woman works for my husband and is on disability so she receives a disability check along with the monthly paycheck she receives from him. She has many health issues and financial problems and she is very dependent on my husband financially. He loves me I'm sure and he says he wants to grow old with me, but he cannot just abandon this woman and leave her financially destitute (his words). They communicate daily and he has said that he loves her in a different way. He has told her that he wants to work it out with me and that she must go back to being just his friend and employee. Is this possible? He says it is. I believe he wants to repair our marriage but he is very torn about abandoning this woman. He says I need to trust that he will never betray me again in this way.

He is doing everything he feels he can to help me heal. He is kind and we have worked through and are continually working through the issues that led to the downfall of our marriage. But The big pink elephant in our marriage is this other woman. Sometimes I believe I can get over this and allow her to stay in contact and work for my husband. Other times I see her as a huge threat to our recovery, especially my recovery from this affair.

Is it possible for a couple to heal from infidelity if the "no contact" rule is not strictly enforced. I'm torn about this. I love my husband and I believe he is truly remorseful and we are working to repair our marriage. But he says he is not willing to "abandon" this woman who needs him as a friend and employee.

Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 786
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 786
Nope, no way in he**...... NO CONTACT


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction




Moderated by  Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard