D7 looked at me last night and I guess i just had a weird look to me. She said you look sad. I told her just thinking about stuff. She is too smart, she looked at me and said Mommy? I didn't want to lie to her so I told her sure and then proceeded to tell her a bunch of other things as well.
I need to do a better job around her which i typically do. She is way to insightful
I dont envy your situation. My S is only 1.5 and I know he feels the changes and senses this kind of stuff but he cant talk so i dont have to explain. I havent read you whole sitch but from what i have read you seen to be doing well with everything. Hang in there and stay strong!
yes the kids situation is never fun. It is so crazy that the WAS beleive the kids are fine and it is not affecting them. I dont know how she takes the kids telling her they dont want to stay with her.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
OTW- they know and it stinks. I saw Strngrl post and having 1.5 yr old doesn't make it easier but in only that they DONT know what is going on
My D is 6 and she knows there are issues. She sees me sleeping in another bedroom and we don't do things together. IT TEARS at my heart daily but I keep a happy face all the time with her. I did have a breakdown a few months ago in front of her crying and she birst into tears. Said I had stomach pains/virus and was in pain..ugh
Have you seen any therapists together on how to tell the kids? Any advice if so?
We are going to go at the right time...soon....on how to handle this as she is an only child and will struggle regardless of anyone telling me kids are resilient
When we had to tell them that we were separating we met with an IC that i go to. but when we actually had to have the talk she made me furious. she basically left me to do all of the talking. All she did was try to get them excited about getting new stuff at her place. In the end it didnt work.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
Fo and Pinn thanks for checking in. I know it is all about a mindset and focusing on what i can control. Problem is I am a big fixer. I think there is always something that can be done. Does me well professionally, but in this case may be the worst thing!
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
Hey OTW, Just reading your sitch, how are other things in your life going? You seem to be talking a lot about W and not much about how your are GAL and working on you.
Good job on the NC, that is tough.
Me late 30's W mid 30's T 15, M 10 S4, S7 ILYBNILWY June 2015 In house S July 2015 W rings off Oct 2015 My ring off Feb 2015 Separate houses June 2016
Yes, I have noticed she has been taking up a lot of my posts lately. I ma not sure why. I have a few possibilities. 1. maybe the dreams are bringing her to the front of my mind. 2. i think the fact that for the first time i am dealing with the fact that i think she is really dating someone.
If i have to guess it is more of the second. I was preparing myself to spend time with her when we have to do stuff for S4 bday. I actually was getting mentally prepared after what transpired this past weekend. Then in an email about details on the party she mentioned about going out of town this weekend and wouldn't be back for normal swap time.
no mention of where, who anything. Just that if i had something to do her best friend could watch kids until she is back. Right, like i am going to do that!
I had planned a trip for me and the kids as well this weekend, but of course I get sent spinning a bit.
I think another thing i am dealing with is the fact that I am basically supporting her lifestyle. Nothing I can do about it, but she is blowing through the savings we split and the money I have to give in support each month. meanwhile she has not attempted any other work.
I know there is nothing I can do on this level and need to let things go, but I am dealing with all of these as firsts right now and need to let the emotions run the course.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
hang in there otw... fake it till you make it. I know it is easy to say but you cannot control what she does, so there really is not much of a point of worrying about it. I think it is normal to have some set backs. We all spin now and again.
I know it is tough with the children for you but anytime you think of her for too long can you do something physical? In the earlier days for me, I would run or go to the gym, still do. It really works well for me. I guess it is just about finding that thing to take your mind off of it. Another thing that I found was that if I was hanging around here too much, it seemed to kind of stunt my progress in terms of detaching. I was reading so much on here, it kept me connected to her in a weird way. I had to take a break for a while.
i sat around tonight praying to let me forget her or get her out of my mind and heart.
The thing that is making me mad is I am fine when I am on my own and out GAL but the time i should be happiest when I am with my kids is when my mind races the most. This makes me so mad because this is when I should be the happiest.
I know my posts have been about her a lot lately, but believe me my life is busy. i will force a change by only posting about my busy life for a while. And I may need a break as well from posting.
I know I come here to vent and look for help, but I think i am also looking for success stories and that golden ticket that doest really exist.
I am tired now and want to get my thoughts fully together before posting more.
thanks for those that check in on me
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
If you plan on not posting for a while just be carful you done make any mistakes by checking here before you do anything different.
I too have that issue of reading on here and thinking that my sitch is different then it really is, based on what I am reading.
It good to here that your life is busy.
I read you were cleaning up the garage, that is something I have to face, do I get rid of my hobby tools to help with the move to my new stage of life or do I look to them to give me something to do and continue when I have to move forward in a new place.
I really want to get back into my hobby. What would you love to do? and how can you start doing it now?
Me late 30's W mid 30's T 15, M 10 S4, S7 ILYBNILWY June 2015 In house S July 2015 W rings off Oct 2015 My ring off Feb 2015 Separate houses June 2016
