2T, yes, we are so much alike, and both of us are still here… after so much time after the BD (even though I’m more than a year longer then you.) H has to be in that state where he works not by choice. He HAS to work to make a living and this is where he is getting some jobs. He is a contractor, and he has a buddy in that state who likes to use H’s services. If it would be his choice, he would be retired at the vacation home by now. Not going to happen anytime soon, LOL. Unless he wins the lottery, or finds himself a sugar mommy (which is very unlikely, since he doesn’t have much to offer, haha.)
Gwen, thanks for the words of confidence. It is definitely a process, and I think you are ahead of me in this anyway. I’m kind of slow… but, the circumstances are also different. If I would have younger kids who would be affected by H’s MLC, I would probably feel a lot different too. I’m lucky that my son is an adult and can handle the situation at lot better.
Some updates…
I was hopeful that I would get happy Mother’s day this year from H. I didn’t get it. I guess I thought he was picking out of the tunnel, a little… I was not too disappointed… But, it made me think again. What does H’s desire to leave the M, not want to have me in his life, etc. have to do with me being a decent Mother? I’m not saying that I’m the best Mother, but I did my best… and I think it paid off. I’m proud of my son, he is a great human being and he is doing pretty well. I might have been a sh!tty wife, but I think I still deserve to be recognized as a Mother. I just don’t get it. Oh well…
My son came over and took me for lunch on Mother’s day. Then, I’ve been busy, pretty much working two jobs, my full time job and a “3rd” job (a contract) that I have now. I put 15 hours on that 3rd job last week, after working my regular 40 + hours at my main job. I also mowed the loan and did some year work. I’m so ready for a vacation!
GAL… Neighborhood Bunco group night out on Friday and Walk for Animals on Saturday before Mother’s day (yes, almost two weeks ago.) Then dinner at my sister’s, then Mother’s day lunch with my son (as I already mentioned). Last week was pretty uneventful in terms of GAL. A lot of work though… Last Friday – get together with neighbors, dinner at my sister’s again, then having my son for dinner at my house on Sunday.
Plans ahead… Booked my fight to Vegas for my B-day week (I was planning to drive originally, but changed my mind). Looking at some tours my GF and I can do while we are there, besides the dinner and a show. Planning to drive to the vacation home for the Memorial Day weekend (before my Vegas trip.)
H was MIA for two weeks after our lust super friendly exchange. He re-surfaced a couple of days ago… Starting with a very friendly message… and then “sounding” a bit “dry”… kind of taking things for granted, ya know… I kept replying nicely… but thrown a bit of a truth dart too… I don’t think he liked it. Too bad… I can just drop that friendly business and mail “services” all together, in a heart bit… It is interesting that when I’m seriously thinking to completely drop the rope, H re-surfaces… Which leads me to having some hopes again… and he goes back into the tunnel. I’m getting very tired of this game…
Well… long post again… Sorry for any misspelled words, bad grammar, or if something doesn’t make sense… I’m not proof reading it… I’m tired…
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Hi Bright, thanks for your kind message on my thread. I'm glad you had a nice lunch with your S for Mothers Day. I wouldn't worry about the lack of acknowledgement from your H on that day - who knows where he is at. I think the main thing is your S showed you his gratitude and appreciation on that special day - which is lovely to hear.
Glad you have some nice GAL plans going on and pleased to hear about your trip too. As for your H - yes, I get the feeling that as long as you carry on as you are - there may be a 'security blanket' feel about the whole situation for your H. You're already noticing that if you change things up a little, the response from H changes. I would never suggest completely dropping the rope to try and 'wake someone up.' But if you are tired and ready to completely drop the rope because that works best for you, then go for it I say.
Xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
