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Originally Posted By: Vanilla
Gg

I am an old bird, and my dashing to lay eggs is going to be very slow.

Like you and many others my WH isn't cooperating on the D.

I really don't know why not. Scrambled eggs, brains, spit.

I thought when he cross filed that he was keen to D. Clearly he isn't that eager.

I just want this over.

I guess MSPV or Mr Sex Pot Vanilla when he shows up is going to be very surprised!

I want to be able to cope as well as my Gg.

V


Of course he will be suprise at what a beautiful catch he has.
(Oh after. A long break why do you think ggstated it was x rated) I don't think bf knew what hit him! First weekend wasn't outside the budiour period


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
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Well done Gg!

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Sometimes I have no idea why I feel fearful sad and i just able to cope.

This evening for no reason I struggle.

I cry and am consumed with deep unhappiness that I don't want; it seems not specific really and very unfocused.

The flashbacks are pretty scary, yes I know it isn't really happening and I am unclear what to do to stop it so all I camn do is to just let it pass like flotsam and jetsam.

I would like it stopped, I have asked my higher power and I guess I still have things to learn.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Hi Lady V. It's a mixture of emotions I'm sure Grief , guilt , sadness , anger and regret to name a few. It will pass and happeniess is in your future. I wish I was there and hug you until you felt better.


Please remember you do nt deserve this and none of it is your fault. Your only issue is that your Lady V and too kind a soul. You saw what H was but looked through compassionate eyes not realistic ones and that's called love

This will pass and vanillia will rise from the ashes

Again , hugs and hugs and hugs.

Oh and hugs. Rd xxxx

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V,

I went to therapy today, and your kind description of sweet sadness came up. You know I cycle with her. She's involving V, maturing before my very eyes. Thank you for giving her a name. My therapist says I am integrating her very well.

Maybe there is value in naming this part of self, this aspect of V that is suffering and unhappy, who is fearful and frightened and in the midst of reliving some terrifying and disempowering experiences.

This self is serving a purpose V, likely protection, maybe a releasing of fear from your body, the body remembers fear. Fear stores itself in body tissue, cellular memories, maybe this emotional experience is the release of toxins and pollutants, a letting go of fear.

I think maybe you would suggest that I thank this self for serving its purpose. For keeping you safe and now recognising that it is time to let it go.

PP suggested a book to me recently by Caroline Myss Defy Gravity. I have only just started reading it, but it may provide you some relief to healing. I know you appreciate the the mind-body connection, Caroline talks of the mind-body- soul connection.

I am glad to see you post and share your pain V. We will love you through this, I swear.

Jellyxxx

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Hi good morning V,

I am sorry you are feeling down, maybe try to get out and force something fun into your evening tonight????

Sending you a hige midwestern hug across the pond!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Love you V smile



“Character is destiny” Heraclitus
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V,

This journey we're all on is not measured by time. We gain ground by finding out who we are, deciding who we would like to be, and taking action. It may take a long time to do these things, but there is no greater journey in life.

Peace to you and your troubles - this to shall pass.


Me-38 W-38; T-15 M-12;
S10 and S6
BD - July 2016; EA confirmed; confronted Aug 2015
EA dissolved 12/2016

Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option - Maya Angelou
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Originally Posted By: rd500
Hi Lady V. It's a mixture of emotions I'm sure Grief , guilt , sadness , anger and regret to name a few. It will pass and happeniess is in your future. I wish I was there and hug you until you felt better.


Please remember you do nt deserve this and none of it is your fault. Your only issue is that your Lady V and too kind a soul. You saw what H was but looked through compassionate eyes not realistic ones and that's called love

This will pass and vanillia will rise from the ashes

Again , hugs and hugs and hugs.

Oh and hugs. Rd xxxx


Thank you RD, you are correct.

I did and still do love WH. I love me enough never to be abused like that again.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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V,

I went to therapy today, and your kind description of sweet sadness came up. You know I cycle with her. She's involving V, maturing before my very eyes. Thank you for giving her a name. My therapist says I am integrating her very well.

I am pleased that our insights helped you Jellyb.

Maybe there is value in naming this part of self, this aspect of V that is suffering and unhappy, who is fearful and frightened and in the midst of reliving some terrifying and disempowering experiences.

Her name is Plain Vanilla.

This self is serving a purpose V, likely protection, maybe a releasing of fear from your body, the body remembers fear. Fear stores itself in body tissue, cellular memories, maybe this emotional experience is the release of toxins and pollutants, a letting go of fear.

Jellyb it's PTSD. And yes it's fear and anxiety. Severe abuse does this to some of us. It is a weakness.

I think maybe you would suggest that I thank this self for serving its purpose. For keeping you safe and now recognising that it is time to let it go.

My protector is Screaming Banshee. Plain Vanilla is timid and sad, frumpy and a wall flower. She is overweight colourless and somewhat withdrawn. Downtrodden. I look after her.

PP suggested a book to me recently by Caroline Myss Defy Gravity.

Thank you I down loaded but haven't read it.

I have only just started reading it, but it may provide you some relief to healing. I know you appreciate the the mind-body connection, Caroline talks of the mind-body- soul connection.

I am glad to see you post and share your pain V. We will love you through this, I swear.

Jellyxxx

Thank you Jellyb. I value the support.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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