Yes MLC is more like a rotisserie oven!!! But a herky-jerky one!! LOVE this and I am laughing out loud! Go Tfish!!!
After BD but before I knew it was MLC I suggested m counseling. H's very serious response (with straight face and shark eyes): "there is no point, everything is your fault."
When I told the first IC this, she never met him but said anyone who says such a thing has no self awareness whatsoever.
Ding, ding, ding we have a winner!!! Boy, did she call it!!
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
Tfish - as everyone says of course you are not to blame. But maybe be careful on your response to it all. Your h also may be trying to get a reaction out of you so that when you two argue he has his "reason" why he is unhappy.
There was a period where my h did this. He would blame me for ridiculous things, I would counter him thinking I was setting the record straight but I soon realized that by engaging, this led to light arguing and I was keeping myself in his formula giving him a false target for his unhappiness.
Then Job taught me to say, calmly and quietly, "sorry you feel that way" and walk away. This way I did not engage with him so how could I be the cause of his unhappiness? Just a thought.
Sotto - laughing out loud at your h's immature MLC thought process.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
Mine went into MC and said this relationship is beyond charred there is no sense in even doing this. Oh he tries to get me to argue but his face when I walked away was priceless. I am learning, of course I still trip up sometimes but not as much. I just laugh now (at everything is my fault.) I like to go out with my sister and vent...see that hole in the road..yep me , I did it....see that dent in the car...I did it. I must say it has become a fun game.
Yes! You see now, the more you can emotionally distance, the quicker you see the craziness of it all. When you stay involved in it, it's like you're in the spin cycle with them. If we can keep our mouths closed, we take ourselves out of the equation and we can really see what is going on.
P.S. S12 did not eat a good breakfast today. It is your fault and I expect you to fix it. Ha ha!!
Good job! Keep focusing on you and your kids and leave him to Kookooville.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
venting or journaling: I am getting very nervous and anxious. I have a behavior evaluation for S6 and I just worry what all this situation has done to him. I am worried they are going to tell me I am failing him as a mom. I am so worried about him. He is so sweet but has really been struggling.
H did not call S8 for his bday. I guess he figured his party on Sat was enough?? I did see that he is now taking testosterone ( pills were in his car) I have not been spying. I am really in hate mode now. I think it has to do with my son's evaluation coming up. H says S's behavior has nothing with my H leaving. I am just fried and done.
I did see that he is now taking testosterone ( pills were in his car) I have not been spying.
Testosterone is not usually given as pills (sometimes sublingual lozenges from a compounding pharmacy). The usual methods of delivery are gels, creams, patches or injections. This makes me question whether what he has is legitimately prescribed, or whether perhaps he has been buying something off the internet or if it's just some kind of supplement touted as a testosterone booster. Did you get any more information off of the label?
Your H is relatively young, correct? (under 45?). Testosterone deficiency in this age group is uncommon (not impossible). Undiagnosed hypothyroidism is one possible cause of low testosterone in men.
It is a supplement pill from gnc. I have no clue why he is taking it.. not my circus not my monkeys Well S6 was diagnosed with adhd and will be starting more therapy. I was asked to bring S8 to be evaluated also. I did not text H to let him know because well let's face it...if he wanted to know he would ask. I wish I could wake up from this horrid nightmare and while I am fully aware , I am blessed to have my boys with me and safe. That I have a job that allows me to be available for them. That I can provide for my boys as best I can. I miss talking to my H. Laying in his arms. I miss him.
I often also feel so grateful my kids were with me the whole crises It is a nightmare , but on the other side is a definite rainbow It is a time of deep transformation and growth for the LBS it was a life changing experience for me and my Relationships with my kids and with everyone have changed for the better I know you miss him and Im sorry for your pain
Hang in you are doing well
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Had a nice morning boys gave me flowers and I took them out for breakfast. H came over to spend time with the boys. He watched a movie with me. It was quite peaceful and then I messed it up. He went to leave and I was just so sad I asked for a kiss on my forehead, He could not and left. ughhh I want to crawl into bed and disappear
