Thank goodness some info dropped into your lap today. I'm sorry, I did think your h was the one that told you. One thought...why is the bank notifying you about him getting life insurance? Is he getting it through the bank?
He's running scared and he thinks he's going to die soon. At least if he gets life insurance, it sounds like your children are going to be named beneficiaries.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
It is a military bank. They offer car insurance, home insurance, nd life insurance. I met with a dr today since son is s17 and s6 are both ill. She was a military wife and was very blunt in telling me to move on. She was like two weekends a month is enough for him,,he wants no responsibility...time to move on...
I AM NOT READY yet!!Everything inside me is telling me to just be strong and still
Okay, that explains why they needed the info from your h for his life insurance through the bank.
When people hear what we are going through, the first thing out of their mouth is "move on". They do not understand that MLC separation/divorce is very different from a normal one. Until they walk a mile in your shoes, they will not understand. So, when people say "move on", allow the comment to roll off your back and continue doing what you think is best for you in your situation.
Trust me, you will know when you've had enough.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Def. not yet by any means. I do love him and if it will help to set him free so be it...but I do so with the notion that he is mentally broken and while I cannot fix him, I can shoulder the pain to myself. I talk to the boys about daddy being at school and how daddy loves them and what a great dad he is. I promised him years ago that ptsd ..missing limbs..anything I would stand . I keep my word. I am standing from a loving distance. He may not get it in a month or in a year but at some point ,my boys will know that even when I felt like curling up in bed to sob. I still put on a smile and helped with homework..playing uno..and I did everything possible to make sure they had a stable home. Just because something breaks does not mean we automatically toss it. Sorry for my diarrhea of the mouth...lack of sleep/sick kiddos/ and slow work day are not helping lol
Tfish - sometimes, it is worth the effort to turn to the person who gives the "move on" advice and say: so, if tomorrow you fell into a deep depression, people should turn their backs on you ASAP? Or, if the person has a child ask: if your child became mentally ill should his/her spouse jump ship immediately? That advice, to me, is extremely cold. People forget there is a human being behind this depression.
Keep taking care of yourself and your children.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
Many people don't understand why we would want to wait and stand WE get it here
It is ok to take as much time as needed I always felt there was no where else to go anyway This way as you learn to accept what is, it also gives the MLCER a lot of time, space and distance to turn around.. Only each of us individually will know earn to let go we stand in our grief..its hard to watch someone you love change drastically being powerless
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
My Hteen has been taking the boys to gun shows and will be buying my S6 a rifle. I am sooooo not ok with this. My S6 has sensory issues and I am just getting him back into treatments and possibly diagnosed with autism. H is in denial and I have no clue if this is something I can oppose in mediation..any ideas? My Hteen is not buying cars or fancy clothes...he is buying guns. I am started to get nervous about all his guns
A rifle for a 6 year old? That's not good, especially if he's not had a gun safety class. I think I would have to talk to someone about this because this could lead to a dangerous situation or one whereby your son is out shooting and hit someone, an animal or damage a car or house.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
H is extra careful with his weapons...locked always unloaded but in this crisis mode it scares me. H states it will be at his place and will only come out to take him shooting. I have an apt set up with a behavior specialist for S6. I will tackle it there since Hteen is in I do what I effing want mode. He seems human enough but acts like We never were married. I am someone he knew a long time ago
That's the way they act. They compartmentalize their lives and put us on the back burner, i.e., almost like we never existed in their lives. Funny, when they want something, they know where to find us.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
