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#2629393 12/07/15 09:50 PM
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Di-mond Offline OP
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New thread!

Cadet or Job could you please link my old thread?

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2602403#Post2602403

I'm in a new place. Nice little condo for myself, my daughter, my dog and the kitties. I bought a washer and dryer today. Got the dog licence for the new town we are living in now and picked up my first essential oil kit and diffuser.

I had an IC appointment scheduled for this morning. My counsellor never showed up. That's the second time it's happened. I called the intake office and requested another counsellor. Next available appointment is not until Dec. 21st. Not very happy about that. I do have an appointment scheduled with the counsellor my H and I used for a couple of MC sessions this summer before he moved away. I am thinking of doing a few DB counselling sessions while I have the money to do them. All I know is that I need some help navigating this period in my life.

My daughter just registered for a week long job course that she will start next Monday.
Tomorrow she is getting her wisdom teeth pulled, so hopefully she will be 100% by then.
I'm registering for 3 on-line college courses that will start in January. I have a couple of seminars I'm interested in taking coming up next weekend. So both of us are making positive moves on the career front.

I was going to sign up for the gym membership this week, but might wait until my daughter comes back from her course. A " couples" membership is cheaper than a single. We can motivate each other. Or more likely I will drag her behind to the gym. eek

I'm still unpacking! Still need to buy a couch and set up the TV. Not being too hard on myself if I don't get done what I wanted to. I'm still recouperating from the move.

My H? I don't know....I would say I don't care, but he still occupies a lot of my head space. He has absolutely no effect on my day to day living now.

Here is to new beginnings....without him for now.

Last edited by Cadet; 12/07/15 10:01 PM. Reason: Link

Di-mond in the rough
M-45 H-38
My children S-25 D-23
T 5 M 4
H left April Fools Day 2015

One day at a time!
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Posts: 374
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Di-mond Offline OP
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Thanks for the link up. smile


Di-mond in the rough
M-45 H-38
My children S-25 D-23
T 5 M 4
H left April Fools Day 2015

One day at a time!
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
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I was weak on setting boundaries with everyone. I just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. The side effects from the medication (steroids and chemo) I had been taking totally knocked me on my behind. My mind was fuzzy at best. I remember driving home at 2 am after a late shift, it was raining and for the life of me I couldn't remember how to turn on my windshield wipers.

I just didn't have the energy to yell or demand. I just made it to work and then bed. Then I couldn't even make it to work. My H didn't step up either. His reasoning was if I didn't make the kids do anything then he didn't have to do anything either.

-------------------------

From Di last thread

Di let yourself off the hook for this OK.

I was leading up to saying more clearly that if your WAH behaved selfishly, you were in no condition to insist on his respect of your boundaries. I think this is so.

The best course was possibly just to let it all unfold in time, which it did.

Extreme self care today, although from your writing your health is more stable than it was, you have expended a great deal of effort in resolving your sitch, yourself. With energy, power and determination.

You are mentally tough and physically recovering. My great desire for Di is this continues for the rest of her life.

Easy, easy, breathe, it's going to be OK.

It will never ever be that challenging again as Di has grown enormously through this.

V

Last edited by Vanilla; 12/08/15 04:30 PM.

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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So many exciting things happening and more coming very quickly! Excellent work Di!


Me: 42
H: 45
M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs
D: 17
D: 15
S: 12
I kicked him out 8/21/15
I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
Mona52 #2630168 12/10/15 03:43 AM
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Di-mond Offline OP
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For f*** sakes, I broke and contacted him today.

I so wish I wouldn't have!!!


Di-mond in the rough
M-45 H-38
My children S-25 D-23
T 5 M 4
H left April Fools Day 2015

One day at a time!
Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 331
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Why? what happened? Just the contact? Or what he said/did?


Me:48
W:45
S:15
M:17
T: 25
Separated: Oct 2015
Scrant #2630201 12/10/15 10:43 AM
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Di-mond Offline OP
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He basically brushed me off.

I guess it still hurts that he just doesn't care to talk to me at all.


Di-mond in the rough
M-45 H-38
My children S-25 D-23
T 5 M 4
H left April Fools Day 2015

One day at a time!
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 569
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It's Okay to backslide. I bet it could have been worse. Were you crying? Were you begging him to come home?

Whenever you feel like contacting him, just post here first. It helps, it really does. Also, if it is late enough, try hard to sleep on it and do it in the morning. Just pausing a few hours is all it takes to get past the overwhelming urge to contact them.


Me: 42
H: 45
M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs
D: 17
D: 15
S: 12
I kicked him out 8/21/15
I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
Mona52 #2630507 12/11/15 05:35 AM
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Di-mond Offline OP
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Yeah well I one upped it lol.

I had to go to an appointment at my specialist in the city. Traffic was horrendous!
As I was trying to change highways to go home there was a huge accident and everything came to a standstill. Well, the next sign I saw was for the highway to the town where he lives. So, instead of sitting in traffic for a few hours I changed lanes and half an hour later I was at his place.

He was surprised and at first not too pleased. I woke him up (he works night shift) However after talking for a bit we decided to go grocery shopping and then we went out for dinner. He talked a lot about what he's been reading, his favourite movies, what shows he's been watching. We talked about music and who he would like to go see in concert.

I haven't heard him talk so much in months. I made a real conscious effort to just listen to him. That was always one of his biggest complaints, that I didn't listen. He was right....often I would cut him off. I'm a huge chatter box with my family, but very quiet with most everyone else. We ended up having a pleasant evening. I dropped him off at work. He gave me a kiss goodbye and I had clear sailing on the highway to go home.

Now I don't expect to hear from him for a while. His mom and I are making plans for our annual Christmas dinner at Mandarins Chinese restaurant. He is working all the holidays, so I asked him to let his mom know if he would like to come and what day he can do it.

Now I'm returning to my regularly scheduled DB life. Too much to do in the next few weeks and not enough time.

Oooohhh...on a fun GAL note. I found a really great deal on flights to Hawaii in January. This is one place my mom always wanted to go to with my dad. Since my dad passed away 12 years ago, I'm going to take her. Already talked to her about it. She is all for it.
Aloha cool


Di-mond in the rough
M-45 H-38
My children S-25 D-23
T 5 M 4
H left April Fools Day 2015

One day at a time!
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 374
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Di-mond Offline OP
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The new Selena Gomez song could be a theme song for the DB forum.

Sick of the same old love


Take away your things and go
You can't take back what you said, I know
I've heard it all before, at least a million times
I'm not one to forget, you know

I don't believe, I don't believe it
You left in peace, left me in pieces
Too hard to breathe, I'm on my knees
Right now, 'ow

I'm so sick of that same old love, that sh*t, it tears me up
I’m so sick of that same old love, my body's had enough
Oh, (that same old love) [2x]
I’m so sick of that same old love, feels like I've blown apart
I’m so sick of that same old love, the kind that breaks your heart
Oh, (that same old love) [2x]


Di-mond in the rough
M-45 H-38
My children S-25 D-23
T 5 M 4
H left April Fools Day 2015

One day at a time!
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