Thanks, BA! I'm incredibly happy and he was worth the wait.....and the drive!
I did meet his daughter and she is incredibly awesome, reminds me so much of my own. We took to eachother right away and she grabbed me away for "girl time" right away! We had a nice day having lunch and shopping. Then when we dropped her off I raked leaves with his sister, Love his sister too. Then we went out to dinner for his friend's birthday, love all his friends, we clicked right away. I'll be back up this weekend and his D6 will be there again, and I'm excited for all of us to hang out.
This is what it's all about. I can't wait for him to meet D8 and for the kids to meet each other. They can't wait either Hopefully it happens before the new year.
Had parent teacher conference yesterday and she got all A's and B's, with "x's" on the usually. not focusing, not listening and her talking excessively, but the teacher said she is getting better but she had to address it. She said D8 is very bright and could easily have straight A's if she focuses more and shuts her trap, lol. I'm proud of the kid!
Lol, we used to hear the same thing about my youngest every year at every parent teacher interview. I remember one teacher saying that "your daughter could run this classrooom without me" and I replied "and I'm sure she'd love to give it a try" My daughter never changed much, she was and is a people person (and we did try to get her to chill but...). She's in university now and doing just fine...still making friends too
I rarely post about my ex anymore, but I just had to share this one.
Tomorrow is His wife's 40th birthday. So he texts me " did you get a card a from D8 for H, or should I ?"
He's a balsy one isn't he?
And I'm the sucker who said id being her to get one since I had a birthday card to buy myself.
Prior to this, D8 had been requesting the Nutella pie I made for thanksgiving last year. But she's having thanksgiving over there. It is the season of giving so I bought the stuff to make it with her.
I just try to be gracious, but sometimes a tool. I guess as long as I'm aware it's teaching our daughter a good lesson and that I never should expect rerun graciousness it's all good.
Good for you G! I'm sure it's what D8 would want. I still have to buy idiot Ex Christmas gifts from Ryan although he never does the same for me. But I do it for Ryan - he cannot do it for himself.
And sheesh, your XH is a total tool. A complete d1ckhead. He's so fortunate to have you as the mother of his daughter. Otherwise, he'd be raising a kid tool.
I agree with BA - the view from the higher road sure beats the lower road, where crap rolls down the hill.
Hugs!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Thanks all. I'm certainly no saint. I just want peace in my life.
Having a down day. Sometimes I feel like I give and I give and I give and it just goes unappreciated. I probably am an idiot most of the time for all I do for him and others.
I think I need to be giving to myself a little right now. I'm kind of drained.
I took D8 to her presurgical appointment today and he was explaining everything and he said one parent can go into the OR with her. And she starts yelling " daddy daddy daddy". It crushed me. He knew we had that appointment and he didn't even ask how it went. I'll have to report everything to him, and if I didn't he'd never know. But everything is always " daddy"! I know it shouldn't get to me, but it hurts. I want to be I'm there with her. I should be her source of comfort. I feel like handing all the registration stuff I have to do online to him and tell him to do it. Then give him the copay bill from today.
I guess I'm not in such a good place today, but this too shall pass
I'm glad you realize that this will pass. Because it will. As sure as night follows day, the tide will turn. My D21 was 8 when her dad moved out. Even though she was angry with him most of the time back then, she verbally chose him over me. It hurt like hell and it pissed me off (not in front of her). He ran off and got himself a midlife crisis, I got stuck with having to be the adult all the time, and she preferred him? WTF?
BUT... 99% of the time, she opened up to me and let me in on her hurt. I think she was testing him too. He passed her test some of the time, but failed fairly often too. I never failed. Ever. And with each passing year, I could look back and feel proud of my consistency. Of the mother I was forced to become. I became that person because someone needed to assume the responsibilities.
Even though we went through that horrible patch from 17-19, I know she appreciates the sacrifices I made for her. She did turn to her dad when we couldn't communicate, and for the first time, I was grateful that she could talk to one of us. Since all we did was fight, I knew I didn't stand a snowball's chance in hell during that period.
I guess what I'm saying is that it will ebb and tide. But when push meets shove, D8 is going to have YOUR back. I don't doubt for one minute that behind your back, she defends you to the tool. I'd put money on that, sweetie.
He's a novelty because he's not there for her all the time like you are. But I also think she's testing him to see if he passes HER test of being a faithful, dedicated parent. He might win some of those battles, but he'll lose some too. And you won't lose any. That's your consolation prize, but it's actually the grand prize wrapped in brown paper.
Good luck with the surgery. D18 had it when she was younger, and it was rough. Plan on lots of whining, TLC and comfort food. It's okay to eat ice cream and pudding for dinner.
Hugs to my lil sis...
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
