This board has been a life saver. The days I couldn't get out of bed and thought I'd never survive, I came here. I read and read and just knowing that I was not alone in my pain and confusion helped tremendously. I am thankful for that!
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
My wife has pulled so far away from me I feel uncomfortable being in the same room with her. I feel uneasy looking at her. She looks away if I look at her. When my daughter tried to have a conversation with both of us she would only respond to things my daughter said. It stings a little but does not hurt like it used to.
I am past the pain. I enjoy my kids. I enjoy my life. The only disappointment is my marriage and I plan to give it time and see if it can evolve. We'll see.
Sorry mutatio, I can see how frustrating your circumstances are. Just remember what she's doing is about her and not you so don't take it personally. I read a book lately on 4 agreements we can make with ourselves to live happier. One of them is never take anything personally and I can say it's helped me alot this year with not letting what W is doing crush me.
Not sure if you have said before, but have your thought of getting a DB coach? I know it's expensive but just having some clarity and direction is a huge help.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Hi Fogg, your another early riser. I have a great IC I really like and see her each week. The IC is out of network so we pay 50% of the cost. I cannot afford a DB coach also. My IC agrees with DB views and sometimes suggests thing that you fine people say to try, so I will stick with my IC.
My only disappointment is seeing my wife sad and/or depressed. She goes to IC also. There is nothing I can do about it . I respect her wishes and make life pleasant within the house. I cook, run errands, maintain the yard, do the grocery shopping and so on. I do these thing by choice and harbor no resentment. I want my wife to be better, she is struggling and that saddens me. I am being patient, kind and compassionate. Hopefully time will heal her wound.
Beautifully stated Mutatio, there are so many gifts in our this awfulness, we just have to look for them. Even in the worst of the worst, we can chose to find the blessings. It's our choice though.
How are you coming on your goals? How was your Thanksgiving?
Last edited by PigPen; 11/28/1510:35 PM.
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
Mutatio, you are a strong man. It always impresses me how well you carry yourself and the kind words you have for everyone. At least your W is seeing an ic. There is hope there! It is true that we shouldn't take these things personally, but it is about the hardest thing to do.
Keep up the great work, and be the lighthouse for your W. You inspire us all
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Mutatio if noting else then stay to kick my but from time to time
You have pulled me up from the low points and yes it is amazing how caring the people are here
We are all on this journey and the comments on people not making this hit me hard I have been very low at times but with the help of many people here I know I will get through this
Thank you my friend
From the stubborn one
Ghost
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
Ghost, it's so nice of you to come visit. I have been pleased with what I have been reading on your thread. You are moving forward and I am happy to know your feeling better.
dday, thank you for the compliment. I struggle with them. I have a strong urge to do the right thing. I spent many years showering myself in selfish behavior. It is important to me to give 100% to this process. It may be easier for my wife to decide if I continued to be the selfish egocentric fool that I was but I reject my past behaviors and never want to be that man again. That rejection fuels my strength.
