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Bobbyb #2626215 11/24/15 01:16 PM
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Originally Posted By: Bobbyb
I am losing health insurance in this divorce. I have insurance starting on December 1st. Is it too much for me to ask ex to wait until the 1st to cancel me on her insurance. Her plan now is to cancel it on Wednesday. She said that is pretty close to the 1st.

I think regardless of when she actually submits the paperwork, the insurance will stop retroactive to the date the divorce was official. So, Im not sure theres any reason to ask her to wait.

Edit to add that Im sorry that your M has been legally dissolved. Thats a tough blow for anyone. Keep your head up and keep moving forward. Your story isnt over yet.

Last edited by Azzork; 11/24/15 01:17 PM.
Bobbyb #2626256 11/24/15 03:07 PM
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Originally Posted By: Bobbyb
I don't know why you keep insisting on these things. That part is between me and her. And we both know the answer. The fact is I lied to her and broke her trust.


While we don't need the "gory" details (like what kind of pics, or to see them), it actually is pretty important you are forthcoming about what happened. That is the only way you can find WHY it happened, and to keep from happening again.

It doesn't help that you are so defensive about it. For what its worth the defensiveness makes you seem less contrite.

I think I mention it up-thread, but you can change specifics if you are worried about anonymity (like say you are from South Dakota if you are really from Texas, or you posted pics to match.com instead of grindr, or you were married in 2010 if it was really 2008) or your a carpenter if your really a salesman.

We are here to help, but we really need to know whats going on. Right now we really can't take your word for it that you know what you did wrong, and have taken steps to change that behavior.


Me: 43
M: 10y
S:15
ILYBINILWY 2/18/13
W moved out 2/18/13
Filed for D: 2/17/13
Got DB: 2/20/13
Got DR: 2/23/13
180 & LRT Began: 2/25/13
D Final Dec '13
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It stopped being between you and your wife when you shared photos of her outside your marriage.

You can either own up to it and learn from it, or you can continue down the path that led you here.

The choice is truly yours.


M:32,H 32
T:10, M5
BD/H Move Out: 9/2014 - extreme anger
H Mental Illness Diagnosis: 4/15
Served D Papers: 10/15
Divorced: 11/15
Bobbyb #2626447 11/25/15 06:16 AM
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Seems like everyone else understands why it's important to explain what happened except for you.

As you can see, not explaining is getting you divorced. Is that what you want?

If not, you have to explain fully what happened so we can tell you how to make it right. But it seems you'd rather hang on to secrecy and be divorced. You have to understand that despite what you think, I am in your corner AND I've been doing this for a very long time. So I know what I'm talking about.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Bobbyb #2626912 11/27/15 05:26 AM
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Divorce was final Monday.....and now it's Thanksgiving

Bobbyb #2626954 11/27/15 02:20 PM
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Sorry to hear. I hate to say it but It sometimes seems like you enjoy these pity parties.

You practically beg for help. We offer it but need more info. And then you get defensive. Then something happens and the whole cycle begins again.

I will say again that you can salvage the relationship.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
MrBond #2627061 11/28/15 06:37 AM
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Don't see how

Bobbyb #2627062 11/28/15 06:38 AM
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I don't see why you need all the dirty details to help me on this?

Bobbyb #2627063 11/28/15 08:36 AM
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Originally Posted By: Bobbyb
I don't see why you need all the dirty details to help me on this?


Look, it's easy to say "I won't share naked pictures of my wife to other people". But if you don't understand WHY you did it, then you're probably going to find that you've done something else in the next relationship you are in to fulfill that same underlying desire/need that you have. So, instead, we are trying to work to find healthy ways for you to fulfill that need. This will help you to GROW.

Azzork #2627076 11/28/15 12:01 PM
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^^ I'll throw my thoughts in and say I agree with all the other posters also.

People aren't looking for the gory details of what happened they're trying to understand why it happened to help you. To help you.....

It's your life and you can ignore this but if you really want to make changes that will last you're going to need to dig deeper to understand why you acted the way you did.

Listen, you may have come here for the quick and easy way to save your M but you now have the oppertunity to really change you. That may work out being a new M with your W in the future but at the very least it will give you the tools to be able to succeed in your next relationship if it's not her.


Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
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