Yesterday's gone. Tomorrow's not here.

[pinn]

Thanks vap and az... Sometimes I need that reminder. I am not going to actually do anything... I know it does not matter. Just needed to vent a bit. The freaking guy is trouble though.

Doesn't feel like early days.... I feel like I can hear that fat lady singing...

[Vapo]

You are doing well buddy, far better than I was 5 months in...

Stay strong. It does get better, it really does...

[Pax_luv]

Pinn,
Just caught up on your sitch- we're on a similar path- no kids, barely any contact, no official movement towards D (Though I suspect mine's coming)... Mysterious pow discovered via FB.... And emotions running the gamut. Stinks, right? How much can we take?!?!

Anyway, I was in a class last week and it focused a lot about self-care. The important thing is to clear your mind, take deep brieaths and only control what you can control. We really can't control this.... Even though we want to because it's our lives that our affected by this!!! I guess the moral of the story is- we can't let it affect us. During the class, they gave us a visual. They said to imagine that we were holding a heavy suitcase up with one hand and in one deep breath, we drop the suitcase and all the heavy baggage with it. It's not a magic pill, but it does help.

[pinn]

Thanks for the post Feyth... I will have to read up on your situation. Good to have someone in a similar spot (ie no kids, no contact).

I don't see how I can drop that heavy suit case until there is an official divorce. I know, I know.... it is only paper. But I mean, to me, it has some finality to it. After things are official, then I will never be able to talk to her again. She would be threat to any future relationship I ever have. She has helped me destroy them in the past.

I am just tired... so tired. 16 years she has been in complete in control. with me when she wants, living the life the rest of the time, but I am always here. I never gave anyone else a chance.

I just am having trouble seeing how I can move forward until there is some movement here.

[Enigma]

Hey Pinn. Showing my support. I completely relate while the only real difference is I have a young son. Funny thing? Limited contact in my case like 1 text a week vs no contact.

Man if it weren't for GAL, focusing on friends on my family, I think I would lose it.

You will move forward it is just about getting small steps in. As she has been in control for 16 years ( my wife was too ), now is a time you get to completely control your own life. I'm not there yet but I know things will get better.

[pinn]

Happy Thanksgiving to my US fellow DB'rs. It matches up almost exactly to the 5 month post BD mark. I love thanksgiving... this one will be a little different than the past ones I am used to but I still have family and friends. I was thinking about it today, and I am thankful for a lot.

1. I am thankful that my family and friends are all in good health.
2. I am thankful that my family and friends are always there to support me.
3. I am thankful for my health and the current physical state I am in.
4. I am thankful that I have a well paying job and have had a lot of opportunities so far in my life.
5. I am thankful that my wife called me 6 and a half years ago after about a year of no contact. Those 6 years with her were great for me and I can't say I regret the relationship. (the marriage on the other hand....).
6. and of course I am thankful for finding this forum and all the wonderful members. It helps keep me leveled and keeps me (for the most part) from making that mistakes that end up getting me hurt.

Hope everyone celebrating this day has a great one! I am going to try really hard to enjoy my family and keep the WW out of my mind!

[pinn]

Hope everyone in the US had a great turkey day! Mine was good... better than I thought. I did not contact the wife and she most certainly did not contact me either... things are looking great!

Anyway... tonight I get a completely random text from WW's best friend asking how I am and how my thanksgiving was. I respond in the same I would have if WW texted me.. saying it was fantastic and that I hope her thanksgiving and her bday were good. She replied that it was good and asks me to tell everyone that she said hi (most of our friend were mine before we got married, this one friend that texted me became part of the group but she is definitely WW's first).

So it was obv nothing major and it was just weird. Now I have talked to WW and her best friend about the same number of times over the past 3 months. When I first saw the name, I was like aw man give me something here, something positive, I need it. But got nothing. I could do nothing but laugh after the exchange honestly. I was like what the bleep was that.

Ah well it's all good... Just looking towards Jan first!

[pinn]

5 months since the BD and it didn't even enter my mind until I was at the store (around 4 PM) and someone asked the date. I'll take it!

[PigPen]

Keep keeping on pinn, every day is a day closer to freedom. Freedom from the acute pain and heart ache that you're feeling. You've got a great attitude and will get through this in ways that will serve you for life moving forward!

PP

[sandi2]

Anyway... tonight I get a completely random text from WW's best friend asking how I am and how my thanksgiving was.

Smell anything?

I could do nothing but laugh after the exchange honestly. I was like what the bleep was that.

Men!