Yes, I have actually briefly entertained getting a PS4 and playing his game, since that might be the only way of getting a hold of him sometimes.
Star Wars...hmmm...I was told last year that I was not allowed to come with him to watch it. That was something he wanted to do with his friends. No girls allowed.
Like you, I did dance naked in front of the big screen to get his attention, and I was waved away. Lol
I had to be in contact with H for the past few days to make sure that the consent papers for the real estate transaction were signed. I will really try to stay off his radar for the next little while.
As far as schooling, as soon as I have funds in hand I'm signing up for courses. I have to take a couple as pre-requisites before I can take the others. So, those will come first. I'm also registering for adult learning classes that don't cost anything, just to get into the studying mode. Signing up at the rec centre up the road from the condo next week to get in some much needed exercise. Also checking out a Hot Yoga studio. I really, really need to GAL.
I am waiting to hear from the art instructor about classes I can model for in December. Still really interested in doing that, as long as they have a heater blasting on me. We are getting flurries up here in Canada. Brrr!
Thanks for checking out my saga Mona. You are an inspiration. You are always in the go and doing things.
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
Hi Di, I am sorry to hear of your hard days. It must be difficult to move all that stuff alone. I don't know whats worse the kitchen with a million things, some breakable or the beds which are few but bulky and hard to manage. Double yuck in my book.
"What the he** did my H do to me?" We are/were in love and slowly surrendered little pieces of ourselves for "us". After a while it adds up and when the marriages falters or fails, we are left with missing parts. You will be whole again one day, with deeper wisdom, greater fortitude and a stronger heart. Your almost there, Be well
I am still moving my house and the resentment is a constant companion. There is so much work and I feel like i am alone. I applaud that you got most of yours done!
I will admit that I did log into his game the other day. I did not see him in game. It was a guilty pleasure I did not tell a soul! I only did it the one time.
I have zero urge to log in anymore thank goodness.
It looks like you will soon be filled with activities to help you stay focused on you. The waiting is enough to drive anyone bonkers, but soon will come soon
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
It's done. I moved out of my house yesterday. Sold and gone! Yesterday wasn't too bad. Much too busy with the moving and cleaning. Today I feel like crap!!!
My H knew how hard this was for me emotionally and physically, yet he didn't even reach out to me once yesterday. He tells me he still loves me and cares for me, yet shows absolutely nothing of the sort. Grumble! I wouldn't be this cold and uncaring with a stranger, let alone a friend and never with him.
What the hell is going on in his mind. He thinks behaving like this is perfectly acceptable. I know he does this to other people. His mother for one and most of his friends. They will call or text him and he will just ignore them and when he feels like it maybe return their calls eventually. I once had his mother contact me after we separated because he just never bothered to call her back. She was getting worried.
I'm tired and sore.
Time to unpack more.
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
My best friend gave me an essential oil treatment today and one of her kids that is studying to be a registered massage therapist did an hour long practice on me. I feel much better now. I just wish all the boxes would magically unpack themselves. I wish I was Mary Poppins for a day.
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
Still unpacking and purging! I'm actually starting to feel good about living here. It was so difficult, but necessary step for me to move on. Speaking of moving on, emotionally I have become much more detached. I don't have the overwhelming pain that has accompanied me for the past 8 months. I am moving forward with getting the separation agreement done. Appointment with a L next week. I have systematically started to remove my H from my life. I have nothing of his anymore. No pictures, no knock knacks, nothing. We are still FB friends, but that is another step for me eventually.
So, yesterday was my H's birthday. We had made plans a while ago for me to come see him. His mom came as well and we all went out for an early dinner. It was pleasant. Had a nice chat with my MIL. Not sure if we will stay in touch in the future. I guess I'm lucky that my H and I were only together for 5 years. It makes it a bit easier letting go of people that I have come to care for.
As far as my H's friends, I don't think they ever really liked me. He didn't socialize much after we got together. Most didn't know me at all. Even my H's best friend didn't know about my illness. He separated his before life and his life with me quite well and then after BD he seamlessly returned to his former life. A life as a bachelor, working security, riding his motorcycle, sleeping and playing his video games.
This is not the kind of man I want as a life partner. A man that only thinks of himself. It's funny, but recently I have thought that my H has set the bar so low that pretty much anybody would be a better H. Not that I'm out looking for another H any time soon. Lol! I am finally working on myself and trying to figure out why I keep attracting men like my H. I need to break the cycle!
On a side note. After I got home last night I received two texts from my H. "Glad you made it home ok" and "Miss you. Xo" Those are the first texts in month that showed some kind of emotion towards me.
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
Hi Di, I miss her too. I hope it's just some real life social event and not some sinister evil spouse trying to stop V from saving the universe.
I think your new place will be good for your soul. You can now focus on yourself without any emotional distractions. After a while you'll be settled in to your new life, meeting new people and finding new friends. All good things and you deserve them. Be well Di
I miss V too and I am sure that she would be touched that we do. I hope that she is still lurking quietly keeping an eye on us all.
In the meantime you have to suffice with us lot still here, in this place where are a shimming on the dance-floor of what we are currently calling love.
V would be well pleased to here that you have your groove on in your new home and likely would highly recommended music of your choice, i'm think Madonna's Ray of Live at full volume, a dance around the living room with a colourful cocktail and of course Cheeeeesseee!!
A skyrocket of rainbow love to you and V. May you both see it in the night sky.
