XH contacts kids:any thoughts

[peacetoday]

so XH or OW wife contact D again via message FB

still feel it is OW doing it
Just not sure why
I think if XH was doing it he would be more aggressive with initiating a real phone conversation

they asked how her halloween was?

she didn't respond
she already told him to send his number when he is ready to talk
she does not intend to have an email R with them
any thoughts?

[job]

Your daughter has a good handle on this situation. When she gets tired of it, she'll either delete the messages or block them.

No, I don't think your h would be more aggressive with initiating a real phone conversation. If he is reaching out, it could take months before he actually works up the nerve and phone her and actually act like a mature adult. If he's reaching out, he's stepping lightly to see how things are and if she's willing to allow him into her life after all of this time.

Again, I think your daughter has this. I wouldn't worry too much about it unless she comes and talks to you about it. I would then listen and offer advice if she were to ask for it.

[peacetoday]

Job

Ok Thanks--I guess I get impatient
this whole process has taken so much time and every time I let go, he/they
send a message again and bait me/us again-

But you are right..D can handle it and she doesn't seem too attached to the outcome
at first, I think she thought she would connect with him and now she sees how confused they are..with their mixed messages and half way attempts on connecting
One thing I have to remember also is I am NOT in control of the outcome here
and I need to expect nothing..nothing
that is my issue..I want resolution/closure

[job]

You may never get resolution/closure from him or what he did. Continue moving forward and hopefully, one day, he'll get himself together. But, if he doesn't, you will have moved on and created a new and happy life for yourself and your daughter.

[peacetoday]

Job

Thank you
hopefully, yes someday maybe he will get his life together
someday maybe he will reconnect with kids
but no matter what, I will keep going

I guess what bothers me is I still feel OW is writing the messages but allowing My D to think it is her dad..I just sense it

I also still feel some resentment toward her..I guess I thought I forgave her/ them
but Im not sure I would ever want to be in the same room as her
I still see her as a creep and I still sense she enjoys the fact that she WON- and she managed to keep XH for 7plus years already-
that is a long time
they must have something together,,however dark

[BrightFuture]

It could be that he is waking up to the fact that he has kids and wants to reconnect. But, ow wants to keep it under her control, so she doesn’t lose her grip on him. This doesn’t fit with the feeling of “WON” from my point of view. Maybe there is a trouble in paradise… At least I would like to think so.

It is great that your D can handle this just fine. And I completely get it about resolution/closure... I think that forgiveness is an ongoing process.

I hope you have a happy Thanksgiving with your kids and your x and ow don’t bother you.

[peacetoday]

Thank Bright

D forgot to even respond to them when I asked her what she did

so she just wished them a Happy Thanks giving
then she addressed

"DAD"
I am not comfortable texting back and forth anymore
when you are ready please leave me your number and we can talk

thats it she is done..her choice
she seems over it and on to other stuff

so the ball is in his court
If he decides he is ready to talk he will try
or maybe it will take another few years for him to get there

We are ok with his process and if he is struggling so much
we prefer to stay out of it
his road is very separate from ours at this point
like ships passing in the night

[123Gwen]

This is so bittersweet. I applaud your daughter for her grace. I have to say that at hard as this has been it sounds like you have had some closure and some possibility of future contact for your children.

My heart breaks for all you have endured. There are far too many families that have been destroyed by MLC.

Sending you my best.

[peacetoday]

Thank You Gwen

no more contact and we have let it all go

Hope you are having a good day!