Hi Rouky. I am doing OK. I think that I am finally getting the right effect from my medication. My therapist said that I could go three weeks without seeing her. I know that I can't stop going completely but I do feel more confident about handling things without her. I have accomplished a few things on the divorce front (paperwork) but I am in no hurry. It's kind of in the attorneys hands now anyway. Just have to let the train wreck happen and then try to pick up the pieces. I have my son the rest of the week so I am happy about that. Starting to have fun being flirty with the girls! Not anywhere near ready for a relationship but I definitely feel more like a single person that I did just a few weeks ago.
Ancaire and Spiff69 thanks for checking in. Interesting words Spiff about wife thinking that the children will not be affected by the divorce. I suspect that she knows full well that they will be hurt but has to tell herself something else. My wife for fifteen years lamented the divorce of her parents and her life of having to navigate two households for holidays and special occasions. Insisted that she would never do that to her child but low and behold couldn't resist the temptation of greener grass.
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
Hi Rouky thanks for checking in on me. I am still on a roller coaster but the highs and lows are less severe. It's been a rough couple of days for me but I have been having fun at work. My counselor keeps trying to get me to find something enjoyable outside of work but nothing seems to bring that to me. All of the things that I have always done just do not appeal to me now. I am getting a little more comfortable with being alone for a while. I am sleeping well. Having trouble keeping my weight up and I am really working hard at gaining some. Trying to be strong for S13. Went to Spanish language class again tonight. I have been there twice now and it is kind of fun. My dialect is a huge challenge though with pronunciation. The teacher was talking about Madrid and the Spanish people today and it sounded like a wonderful place to visit. I will get there someday.
I am hanging with a sister and a cousin for Thanksgiving Day. All of us are single and will be alone for the day so we made a reservation at a restaurant that will be serving. Probably going to do something Wednesday night as well as it is the biggest bar night of the year and we could all stand to kick up our heels a little bit. I am not much of a drinker so not sure how that will go. Wish you were here Rouky!
Nothing new on the divorce front. I have most of my paperwork completed for it and will turn it in to my attorney in a week or two. Feeling pretty detached from my wife. Very little contact with her these days and that has helped. I will have a couple of events in the next few weeks and will have to be in the same room as her and I am not looking forward to it. Her behavior seems so childlike to me these days.
Enough about me, lets talk about you for a while! How is GAL going for you? Better than me I hope. Where are all the other members of The Lonely Hearts Club? Come on guys, chime in!
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
How was your Thanksgiving day? Happy Thanksgiving :-). We don't have that here in the UK. I agree with you as it's hard to find something we like to do. My IC keeps telling me that I need to live in the present but I find it hard. Still thinking about H but as much as before. The best thing for me would be not to see him, but it'll never happen because of kids!
I'm going out twice this weekend and going on again next week. Not asking H to look after kids as after his behaviour yesterday it clearly shows that he isn't interested by them and only comes to see them, so he can look good in the eyes of OW!
Hi Rouky. I had a great Thanksgiving. Had a bit of a gathering of Lonely Hearts! All of us were dealing with a recent separation so we were picking up some nice vibes from one another. So thankful that I didn't have to be alone. I thought of you often yesterday and I am Thankful to have you as a friend. I wish that this was over for us and that we could find peace.
I am so excited for you to be going out this weekend and I wish that I was going with you! I'm feeling very single now and thinking a lot about getting out. Not ready for a relationship but to just meet some people and have a little fun.
I wish that there was somewhere for your husband to see the kids besides your house. I don't think that he recognizes the favor that you are doing for him. Also you do it at the expense of it making things harder for you to detach. Is there a library nearby that you could meet him at for him to spend time with them? God Bless you as always and say a prayer for me as well!
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
Sounding real pathetic, but can I join the club? I've a fool of a husband I just about got back and he seems to be going down that same path again. Have a 1 year old baby and I feel I'm hanging by a thread right now!!
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Thanks for checking in focus22 and Ancaire. Focus I hope that it was GAL that has you so worn out! Please tell us more when you feel better.
Cherry welcome to the club and know that here you will find love, support and hopefully peace. I don't know if you have been doing the DB thing but if you have then you have done some serious soul searching and have set boundaries with your husband. Remember your rules and your values and never settle for less. The hard work we are doing here is to make ourselves the best person/mate that we can be. Please report back and keep us up to date on how things are going.
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
Unfortunately not GAL (although that's been helping...I'm trying to apply the very easiest, lowest key version of GAL I can, so that at least I'm still moving forwards even if very slowly at the moment).
This is my latest update:
Originally Posted By: focus22
Had some bad news from a close family member this afternoon (related to the stress of what's going on with my H).
It totally knocked me for six. I've rarely felt anger in my life like I did this afternoon when I found out. Selfish, selfish, selfish b*st*rd that he is.
Anyway, it's brought home just how much my focus needs to be on myself and on being strong so people round about me don't worry.
He's so far out of the picture at the moment, he's like a tiny dot on the horizon. And he can stay there.
