Jpeg, I got H's head on a stake. It was very satisfying!
Just kidding, I got a small outline of a dove on the back of my shoulder. My only regret is that it is on my back so I can't see it. But it looks cute with a bathing suit. I am thinking of getting something small on my forearm. Not sure what though.
My two girls have each gotten one. D19 got a very pretty script letter J with a 7. My first name starts with J all of the kids (and H) have middle name that starts with J. She wanted to unify the family. D 18 got the sentence "This too shall pass"
I have always said I never would get one, but I have started to think about it. Any ideas??
Jpeg, I never wanted one, never even crossed my mind. Shortly after BD when I thought I was going to drop dead from the pain, maybe 2 weeks in, I was driving through the "seedy" part of town and I passed the tattoo place and out of the blue it just hit me so strong that I needed a little dove for "peace" and "new beginnings" on my shoulder. I went in, they didn't take credit cards, so I ran home and raided my daughter's babysitting money jar and went back and did it.
I didn't tell H and it was more than 3 months later when he saw it (because he was sleeping on the couch), and he was shocked. H hates tattoos on women. That has nothing to do with why I did it though, but makes me like it even more.
I like the handshake idea. I can picture it already - if the other person is "in" then instant connection and if not then at least a memorable first greeting!
The idea of a tattoo has crossed my mind here and there. I think there are alot of good phrases and sayings found in this forum alone for a decent one.
An evening on my own with a glass of wine - I'm trying not to let thoughts get out of hand so this will be a good distraction. To tattoo or not . . . and if so what and where?
When my twin and I were going to get infinity symbols with each other's birth time I learned a trick. Draw what you want with a sharpie marker/pen and spray it with hairspray. It will stay for weeks. I decided I really liked the tattoo and the placement. Now I am ready to go get it. I just need to convince her
Pho - You can go a really long time without sex, I learned that too. BUT man does it SUCK!!
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
I have learned not to talk about the R, and I also learned that as much as I know this I can still screw up and talk about the R, in which case I WILL regret it.
Feeling hopeless after last nights talk. I "lost it" and cried, H asked what was wrong, I told him my heart was broken and I just wanted to work together to fix the relationship already, I am exhausted and I am sad and I want to move forward. He told me he has come to the conclusion that I have borderline personality disorder and that he has 25 years of rage and resentment to work through because of my treatment towards him. OK. Wish I had cried in the bathroom quietly and came out when my eyes were dried as I usually do, didn't need to hear that. At least he said it in a calm manner.
I couldn't really validate that, but I did listen, reacted more than I should have but didn't get out of control, said I am sorry that I hadn't been listening to him and respecting his viewpoint all along, I am sure I don't have BPD but I am open to the possibility that some of our dynamics and communication skills might have some similarities to what he is reading about, and I am open to listening and thinking about it for the sake of our relationship.
He reiterated that he does not love me. He said he cares, he is attracted to me, he has "some" empathy, but he does not trust me and cannot talk to me. I thanked him for sharing and for letting me know where I stand.
I am being "set up" to be blamed for everything. I see the writing on the wall. He has his theory to use against me, so that I will be the scapegoat and he can walk away feeling like the victim.
I am trying to act on my plan and not my emotions. My mind is blown. Almost a year into this. My mind is completely blown.
I just googled BPD and its not even close. The only symptom that describes me is intense emotional reactions, and the only time I have those is when fighting with H in response to HIS intense reactions, and I have learned since BD to stop those. Not one of the other symptoms is even close to describing me!
oh Pho - I am so sorry honey. When does he leave for 6 months? I truly think that time will be so good for you and hopefully stress free. You can be yourself without shame. I just wanted to offer my support. I don't really have any advice right now.
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
