Thanks for the New Year wishes RD and MLeigh. Glad you felt the text exchange was okay. H always responds and normally promptly and pleasantly. I guess for me it's just a case of keeping a little thread there. From what little I pick up, he sounds pretty happy with how life is for him. It seems very social, though I think there is a disconnect with his deeper connections - older friends, family - in favour of new connections. Perhaps spending time with people who support his new life? Any ways, not for me to wonder.
Irish - thank you, and you would be welcome to come along if you lived nearer!! As it is, I'll mention it to a couple of my friends who I'm going out with later. I'm hoping someone will come along with me for the next music evening.
Well, today marks the end of the Xmas break for me. I'm back at work tomorrow and other things gear up again like yoga class. I'm also due to start singing lessons this month and there are a couple of 'socials' carrying on from the divorce workshop. It has been a quietish and reflective Christmas and I noticed my mood was a little lower, but I had been so busy with GAL in Nov and Dec I probably needed to recharge a little.
Our Decree Nisi is due to be issued later this week. I'm going to have a look at the financials again today and email my L to query if the Nisi can be issued when we don't yet have a settlement. If it is issued, it will be six weeks before H can make the D final. I feel pretty calm about that - but I guess the pain of the finality may well intensify at some point. Other than all of that, I'm going to start looking ahead to this coming year and having a think about how I can further extend myself and enrich my life.
Have a great day lovely DBers xxx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Hi Bttrfly, and the same to you Sweetheart. I hope it is a year with many joys and blessings. Do you export your black bean soup at all?? My mouth was watering Xx
Well, I'm doing fine. Just replied to a draft letter to H's L from my L. We're seeking to confirm property values and final asset figures and she has asked him to propose settlement arrangements (he already did this informally to me and she wants it to go via her, which is fair enough.)
No news from H since he replied to my HNY text. Forgot to say that when I saw SS he told me he missed my cooking - he used to moan about my healthy meals at the time - so it was nice to hear. He and I have exchanged a few texts this week & I'll see him next month I think.
As for me, I joined a gym this week. I work for a fitness company and we just moved to a new site which has a fitness centre. We get a great membership deal, so it was a no-brainer. I'm now looking for some flattering jogging bottoms & have my gym induction next week. My new singing teacher got back to me, and we're working on an initial meet up. I also ordered codependent no more. It's been on my reading list for a while and so now is the time. I also found a company that does short walking breaks, and emailed them this week. Me and a friend are going on a short yoga break this spring and a walking break later in the year would be perfect.
Yes, WRT to H, I do feel more and more accepting as time goes on. I can see that we are a long ways off any sort of healthy R. And the door seems closed from his end. I can also see that his setup with OW (who is a bit of a train wreck) may well crumble at some point, and then who knows. But in truth, I've accepted that things will likely go all the way to D with us. I'm glad not to have had to choose that - but I also feel a bit selfish that it is 'all on him' as I know this may cause pain in the longer term for him. Peace for me may come to equal pain for him if our sitch takes the 'normal' MLC trajectory.
I've also been reading Reality Trip's threads as another poster recommended these. Hers is a same sex R, and so different circs, but I'm learning a lot from her approach and the advice of wise others on her threads.
Very best wishes to you all xxx
Last edited by Sotto; 01/06/1611:07 AM.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
no but i will share the recipe! is there some way to do so without a public posting? I'm glad you joined the gym. I will also check out Reality Trip's thread. Honey you can only do so much with what is presented to you. God alone knows what's in our future. You are the poster child for GAL activities. Wish you were here so I could hug you in person !!!! {{{{{hugs}}}}} xoxoxo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Why not create a recipe thread? You could call it "Recipes for Soothing the Soul". We use to share recipes, songs, quotes, etc. on here.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Well, it's a bit of a sad day for me today. Our D case is in court and our decree Nisi will be issued. That means that H could finalise our D in around six weeks.
I was due to be pretty busy this few days, but I have a virus and am in bed - trying to keep my chin and spirits up though - reading a good book, posting on the forum etc. But it would have been nice to be busy doing my stuff, rather than Ill when this was happening.
Oh well - nothing some black bean soup won't resolve.....xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Hi Sotto- so sorry to hear you are sick. And of course, I just want to lend my support to you.
You have helped me so much in my own personal process; I wish I could help you more.
Please know that I am thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
Thanks Bttrfly for the hug and HaWho for the kind words. I feel better than I did, but still at a bit of a low ebb. Lots of coughing and waking up during the night. I looked after my Mum yesterday, and so was over at my parents for most of the day. A change of scene was good for me. I feel that over Xmas I have hibernated somewhat and then haven't been able to make GAL activities this last week due to not feeling well.
I was due to meet a friend later for coffee, but don't think I'm up to that. I'm hoping to get back to work tomorrow though, so I'll have a pottering about day and eat some healthy stuff. Prior to Xmas, I feel I was on such a GAL roll, and invites just seemed to flow in. It was such a good time - but I feel I have taken a step backwards over the festive period and lost a bit of confidence. Really I want to get back to where I was previously.
Plus, our D is now in the late stages and could be finalised next month - so that's not easy and not what I wanted. I guess I had got to the point where things felt easier and somehow they feel harder again. I need to get back to practicing gratitude and planning some new stuff. I'm sure it's just a temporary dip, and I'll perk up once I'm feeling better. I do have a couple of GAL plans (linked to the divorce workshop I did) this week - there's a meal on Tuesday and a quiz on Saturday, plus a friend has asked if I want to meet up on Sat during the day. So, it may end up being quite a nice week.
As RD would say - need to get myself off the 'sorry go round' and keep moving forwards. I'll get there & thanks for reading about my woes, DBers...bear with me as better things are hopefully just around the corner!!
Xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Morning Sotto, I like the plan about gratitude and the GAL plans. I think your sadness is a natural part of the process, which seems to me to come and go like waves. You are always so determined to move forward. I so admire that. I hope you feel back to normal soon and are able to rest better. That's half the battle.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
