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tfish08 Offline OP
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He is asking for birth certificates and social security numbers . He is serious frown My heart is broken

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job Offline
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Makes copies of the birth certificates. If he's seeing a lawyer, then you need to be thinking of seeking out legal counsel yourself. Shop around. Some offer free consultations and you want someone who isn't going to talk you into doing the heavy work at this time. You want someone who is going to listen and offer good advice on what you need to do to protect yourself.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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I will be going to one asap. I just can't believe it is going to happen

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Hang in there... Like others have said. I can only offer my sympathies and share a bit about my MLCr especially during this time of year, she seen the new year as a leaping board towards happiness and filed twice, once in 2014 and again in 2015.... Like job said don't get to wrapped up in anything they do till you have papers in hand, what they think they want now often changes or is forgotten later, listen to the advice and get your ducks in a row as you have to prepare for the worst should it happen to come. In my case the fantasy of D was polar opposite from the reality and that helped stall things till she started peeking through the fog a bit.

Understand it's a crisis, one he must go through and he is seeking for the pain to stop, this has nothing to do with you... However it does effect you tremendously so you have to detach and set him loose to discover the things he must on his own ... All this takes what feels like forever


M: 48
W: 47
M16 T26-S8
BD Sept13



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He tells me I tried to isolate him from everyone. Never happened. He is truly rewriting history

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job Offline
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They do rewrite history. Eventually some people will realize that what he's telling them isn't the truth. If they should tell him that is not what happened, he'll distance himself from them.

Try not to allow what he says to get to you. You know the truth and that is what mattes right now. No matter what you say to him, he will continue to believe what he's saying.

He is following the MLC script fairly well.

Keep the focus on you and your family. I know it's difficult to do this, but you've got to take care of yourself and your family right now.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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I am just pissed ...my S17 is now considering staying local for 2 yrs at a local community college so he can stay and help me. I told him to decide for him and I am a tough cookie and no matter what I got this!!

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tfish

Ok .. one secret to the smoothie .. atleast when I had the eureka moment. You realize its not about you, you get to a place where it doesnt hurt and its no longer personal and you almost look at them as a science project, atleast thats where I was ... I will never forget it .. Nov 11, 2014 she wanted me to come over to talk a bit after S's church veteran event (he wanted me there) and I came in ... she was full on depressed, puffy eyed, all that ... and she looked at me telling me "I've made a mess of my life"... I wanted to say "damn right you have, hell yeah, amen ... anything, but something held me back and I sat there and just sipped on that mango flavored STFU smoothie, she opened up and kept talking and I told myself as long as she is talking and its not emotionally impacitng me ...hurting me... then I was going to just hear her out, I did ... to the point she would stop and it would get awkwardly quiet, I just looked at her blankly ... then she would start back up again.

Sometimes they just need to be heard, I figured OM was steering her a certain way, giving her a safe place to express her inner most feelings with me, her husband was a good move, so I continued this. Even now she considers me to be a very good listener, this is a 180 from Cali 1.0

Just know, this path you are on, its a LONG road, not one thing will make or reak it, I made tons of mistakes, I also did tons very well ... but I am still here, still waiting for the fog to completely lift ... truth is one must become stronger and better because if you just wait this out and do not become better, you will not be strong enough to endure the latter parts of the crisis .... its like training for a marathon, small steps at first and build up your endurance, ... find you .. the real you.


M: 48
W: 47
M16 T26-S8
BD Sept13



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tfish08 Offline OP
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I need a stfu smoothie ASAP. I asked if we can be friends because I miss him...man I am pathetic lol. I just spriralled but I did stop before I made it worse. These are very rough waters. I need to be still and be calm. Be my own sanctuary

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Cut and paste Google maps directions to the SS office and county records department. ........

You're not going to stand in his way but don't you dare lift a finger to help him file.


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



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