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Oh wow - it doesn't sound like the best relationship - secretly moves out then is back the next day?? And OW8? Goodness me...

You sound really steady about everything and that is the main thing..

Enjoy the rest of the weekend!

Xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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I' m sorry, I should have been more specific.. OW is back nut without details. She might be there to gather the rest of her belonging.. regardless, it' s between them.

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I had a lot of mechanical problems with my truck. Frustrating. I hit a lemon when I bought it. I made the decision to trade it in. I researched what my Durango was worth and negotiated a trade. Wrote the cheque and came home with a new SUV.

While eating supper, D2 reported a comment from Ex-H : " Do you know that my boat, trailer, 4 wheeler and truck cost me less than what your mom paid for her truck? "

I won' t lie, I was upset inside. I calmly said: " What was his point?"
she replied: " He was comparing the fact that you have no debt and he has a lot."
me: " OH!! smile That is actually a good and nice thing to say! "


Tonight, Son shared a bit more about his last argument with his father.. Ex-H apparently said: " If it was not for us.."
Son quickly cut him off and said: " Us ?? Who is "US"? You have not been there since I was 9 years old. " US?" You mean mom!!!! "

Ouch!! I am beginning to think that Ex-H' s realisations might be brought on by Son.

Ex-H is addressing me very politely and kind.

One thing is for sure, I am no longer all garbage. He actually see some good in me.. Finally!! It makes me feel more safe. My anxiety around him is vanishing slowly. My peace is getting restored and for this, I AM THANKFUL!! smile

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Hi Exquisite, that's an interesting little story about the argument with your exH and son. It is funny what gets said and how consequences can be felt by MLCers without us doing anything at all.

After XH and I split, he took SS on a trip, but forgot to take some important meds. SS got ill on the trip and was upset, and told XH - Sotto would never have forgotten to bring this!! It is true that what you give out does come back to you. So if you take time and care to look after things, it is noticed and appreciated....and if you don't? Well...

Have a great Sunday my friend smile xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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I wish there was more of the old posters on the board.. eventho we have moved on, we are still living, experiencing, evolving..

5 years ago, a gentleman had won my heart. Soon after, we found out he was "unhappely" married.. i ended it on the spot. Well, a couple of weeks ago, he appeared on my fb as someone i might know. Humm?? We were never connected on fb. No friends in common so i figured he came on my profile to tchek it out. Last week- end, he gattered the courage to break the ice. I was curious to see what is intentions were.. turns out, he is still married, a bit happier but her sex drive is gone while his is not..

????? WHAT!! ???? i was so mad. If i did not want to be a OW 5 years ago, what on earth would make you think i might be ok with it now??

People do change but usually for the better, positive.
I would never do to someone else what was done to me. Even at my lowest point, i would not do it..

Anyway, that is it for now.. just sharing bits and pieces of my last 8 years..

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Very few of the "old timers" are still on the forum. Most of them have moved on to other things and some don't want to be reminded of the h@llish stuff that they went through so long ago.

Gosh that man is nuts, isn't he? After all of this time he reaches out to you. Sounds like he's a bit off himself.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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I believe he is a MLCer who has not did the work on himself. He refused to talk about his wife and daughter and his everyday was all negatives. I doubt he' ll try to make contact ever again.. lol

There is someone who is showing interest at the moment. A widow. I feel it is too soon for him to enter a relationship. My close friend said to me Saturday " You know " my name ", he has been grieving for a long time already. Way before she passed away! "

She died of cancer. she was terminal. this was her third battle with the big C. Her husband cried in my arms often through this. He was a devoted husband through out their lives together. She passed away this winter. We will see how this goes.. I am not sure I will go along with this.. One day at a time...

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Convo again and here i was living it all over... please, take note of my mistakes... i feel like i have ptsd..
Letter to ex-husband...

I never left my kids at your door because i had to chase an ex.. i never left your kids at your doors because i needed surgery... i never left tour kids at your door because i was going on hollidays... i never left your kids at your door because i had to go to work... why??????? BECAUSE THEY ARE MY KIDS AND MY RESPONSABILITY... i attanded every school meetings, every mildstones of their upbringing... the few i have missed were not blame on you.. next time you want to destroy my character, my moral, my values, my self- esteem and my self- confidence, make an appointment with your councellor... i was an am a good person.... you used to be until you turned on us... i am not complaining, i took care of my blessings and would not change a thing.. you are responsable of your own actions... talking it out really help to release the confusion you so desperatly want to put onto me..

Your lack of commitment to us were the reason i wanted to leave you but i did not... because i did not want to lose you.. YOU.. when you do not want to lose someone, you do not leave them... your own reasonning does not even make sense...

You would take them anyday... but would you take care of them or Kim would?? Cause you know, you still have a job... the one that kept tou away from your responsabilities and your loved one... you still have friends who you need to save ... you still have phones you need to answer... where would you find the time to give love and attention to your kids?? How would you make time for the meetings and school activities??? How would you be able to run to the hospital if something was to happen??? You say you will but when it happens, you DON' T... this has been OUR TRUTH FOR MANY YEARS... It has been me, on my own, doing it all and i did an awesome job!!! smile

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I hope you ripped this to shreds instead of sending it to your xh. Why? Because it's too lengthy and he will gloss over it and not read the entire thing at the moment.

I know you are angry and frustrated and maybe this letter to your xh makes you feel better...but what did you hope to accomplish if you sent it to him?


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Hey E-

Why bother defending yourself to Mr. Loco when you own your own truth and live it anyway? Just a waste of energy that will just disappear into the ether. And frankly it came across as whining and weak. You're so much better than this.

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