well. I got my answer today.. The answer is no.. I ran into someone today and his life update reminded me of how life was back when.. I really do not want it back!! Partial friendship is all I can offer ex-H.
As you all know, ex-h got a big financial boost just before Christmas. He has purchased a 4 wheeler, a brand new truck, a boat and a camper. I' m happy for him but all this makes me wonder if our kids would not be better off with him since I will never be able to give them those things. I feel inferior and not up to par. I asked daughter if she wished we had these things. She admit missing OUR(my) cottage but she also said that he sleeps until 2 pm and by the time they could do something, the day is almost gone. They do not get to enjoy any of it. It was the same while he was here with us. Our yard was full but nothing was use unless I would take charge of it.
We discussed the positives that has been happening for the past little while and I said: " I wonder if he feel like he is running out of time towards us? He knows I want to relocate and you guys will be away on your own. I wonder if he feel like this will be it in regard of us?"
Her answer: " even if he was, it would not make sense since all the work is done now. he broke the trust, the love and respect. You raised us mom, you stood by us always! It would not work."
me: It might never happen. It might and might not be in his mind. Who knows?? Regardless, I am very proud of all of us. We have a greater outcome than the one I had envision way back. We KICK A** !!!! lol
so many weird and confusing event.. We think kids want nothing more than their parents to be together.. It is not always the case. It was not for me when I was a child and it is not for my children. This is why it is IMPORTANT to look at how we are treated and how we treat others. If we were a priority to him like he was to us, the children' s wish would be different and so would mine.
Last edited by job; 02/05/1703:56 PM. Reason: Added spacing between paragraphs
Family day here in Canada.. D16 went to spend the week-end with her father. She said: " This is the second time we spend it alone, me and him. Nobody else but us 2. We went to Timmins on Saturday and snow shoeing on Sunday. He shared a lot of memories of you and him. Your name came up often. He said the first purchased you did when you started having a family was a Camcorder." lol yes, it was
I started sharing some recordings of them with her.. Each children have a special moment on tape. we had a good laugh but got off track about ex-H..
It makes me very happy when he dedicate his time to our children without the presence of OW and her child. It is not about jealousy. It is more about normality, closeness, sense of belonging, relationship parent-child. It is about BONDING!!
I see it in them when they come back home. They truly enjoyed themselves.
I have serious mechanical problem with my Durango. D16 mentioned it to Ex-H because me and son were also on our way to Timmins and he inquired why. We were going to look for a possible trade-in.
When Ex-H dropped her off at home, he seemed reluctant to leave. He kept me outside for awhile, talking about mechanic and warranty.... He was very kind, calm and trying to be helpful. I thank him and said Good night before going back inside.
Today, D16 thought she saw him around here twice. He did not contact anyone. ???
Not much going on. Contact are still far in between but more often as time pass. I would say, 1 or 2 per month.
There is presently a stand off a couple of blocks away from our house. An ex-employee of mine lives 2 houses down from where it is. D16 and ex-employee have been messaging back and forth for the past 4 hours. She is 20 years old. She locked herself in her room but can hear the conversation between the police and the man. They have 2 helicopters, the swat team and many police officers with K9s.
We are all worried. D16 asked me if she could tell her father. I said: " of course" ( he' s a police sergeant ). She texted: " it is so scary.. they have the swat team and the dogs.
His reply: LOL
That' s it.. ????? That was the end of the texting session. wow!
I can hear D16 and D14 upstairs mimicking him: sarcastic voices.. " I love you so much.. I don' t want anything to happen to you "
Another break-up for ex-h tonight... while he was with our daughters in Timmins, OW and her daughter moved out.. ex-h just texted me to let me know he is bringing them back here saying he will not be of good company and was not gonna tell me why..
It is very sad.. i wish he could find true love but when he had it, he had no clue of it.. does he know what love is?? He did in the past.. has he lost faith and beleif?? Maybe he did... i know i did..
Wow.......moving out on the sly. That's like what an abused woman does. So much for his fantasy. Guess the grass wasn't so green. Maybe he annoyed her by making constant comparisons to you,
I doubt I am the one he compare her with. My name and the kids might have been brought up a lot though. We had an awful couple of week and he was aware of it all.
I know OW is not treated well. He constantly put her down in front of the kids. Shaming her, belittle her. This one is OW4 as a living in but is also OW8 to MY awareness. There might be more.
The projection is still very present. Ex-H got into a feud with Son, not long ago. Again, I played the referee. I listened to both side and I shared my concerns. In the mist of the argument, Son brought up the " Yeah, I know, WE ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH! All of us are never GOOD ENOUGH!! NOT ONCE have I heard you say you were proud of me, NOT ONCE!!" Ex-H' s last convo with me was: " I talked to him but it did not go to well." I know Son' s comment got straight into Ex-H' s soul of guilt and shame. It definitely hit hard..
This morning, I asked D2 if she checked on her father to see if he is ok. She said he invited them to go to Kamiskotia ( Ski Resourt) for the day. OW is back already.. I doubt the kids will go.
