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I was going to ask same question


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Hi kml, s14 could move in with me if I moved, yes. But I live with d21 right now and she is doing so well - full time school and a job, that I don't want to disrupt her life. We live in a 2 bedroom apartment.

One thing W and I agree on is trying to minimize disruption in s14's life. And his attending the same school with the friends he has made there, is one way to do this. He has moved 3 times in the past 3 years.

W and I live in different cities, so if I took over custody of s14, he would have to change schools. And it is a tight fit in the apartment anyway.

Thanks kml for letting me explain the background on this.


Me-54 yrs; W: 50 yrs
4 kids- D: 22,20,19; S:15
"Trial" Divorce: 04/14 - 6/14
Separated: 06/2013- divorced 08/2016

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” War and Peace
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Wow.....tough choice for your son...stay with school and friends but live with scary alcoholic dude, or leave friends and school behind to live with you.

One can only hope OM has achieved sobriety. It's not impossible, although the odds are against him.

My advice would be to listen to what S14 wants....Don't make assumptions. It's important for him to know he has a home with you if he wants it.

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Quote:
God bless s14, keep him safe and protect him.
Isn't that also your job?

Tough choices, Wet to be sure.

Seems to me that moving again might be the lesser of two evils. Living with an alcoholic? I can only imagine the resentment that builds and the long term impact for him. As much as I'd hate to disrupt his current stability, it seem W already did that and the question becomes more, "what are you going to do about it."

What's your son's take?

AJ


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK
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"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
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I agree with others above. Please talk to S14 about what is going on and what he wants. A child needs to know his parents are there for him and that HE is a priority. It doesn't sound like he is getting that with your W.


Me 48 H 46 S 11
M 2004
BD 8/13
H moved out 2/15
-live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
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Thanks everyone for your comments, and your concern for my s14. I bought him a phone last weekend just so I could stay in contact with him during the week. But the best laid plans of mice and men...

S14 hasn't responded to my texts over the past 2 nights. I will text W today to make sure that s14 turns on (or finds?) his phone.


Me-54 yrs; W: 50 yrs
4 kids- D: 22,20,19; S:15
"Trial" Divorce: 04/14 - 6/14
Separated: 06/2013- divorced 08/2016

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” War and Peace
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I say let him live with you and you drive him to school each day. He needs to be safe and that isn't going to be with her. Yes it will be tight in your apartment but what do you do when he stays over now. Offer him that as an option.

kat


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Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
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That is good advice, Kat. Thank you. S14's phone was not charged. So I texted W to make sure that he is ok. She texted back saying he is spending more time at the park with his friends.

Then W texted saying that s14 needs to get into counseling. I am sure that it good advice, but I agree with everyone here that if s14 wants to live with me, getting him away from W and drunk angry om would do more.


Me-54 yrs; W: 50 yrs
4 kids- D: 22,20,19; S:15
"Trial" Divorce: 04/14 - 6/14
Separated: 06/2013- divorced 08/2016

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” War and Peace
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 942
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A Friday Lawyer Joke, that is too often true when people deal with lawyers:

Nothing is Free

A doctor and a lawyer are talking at a party. Their conversation is constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asks the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?" "I give it to them," replies the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor is shocked, but agrees to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepares the bills. When he goes to place them in his mailbox, he finds a bill from the lawyer. laugh


Me-54 yrs; W: 50 yrs
4 kids- D: 22,20,19; S:15
"Trial" Divorce: 04/14 - 6/14
Separated: 06/2013- divorced 08/2016

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” War and Peace
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Thanks for the jokes, Wet!

A man facing a legal issue brought his friend along to his initial appointment at the lawyers office. After discussing the case for a bit, the lawyer got up and excused himself for a moment. Looking around the room at all the books, the buddy tells his friend “You don’t need a lawyer, the answer to your problems are in one of these books”.

“Yeah, but he knows which one!”


M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
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