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Elvis

My mom brainwashed me while I was young and I did the same with my girls.

They know every word to his songs .

We are going to Memphis next year. So looking forward to it.

I'm out of town for 3 nights. My D's are at my parents house. Getting spoiled I'm sure.

Feels weird since it's the first time away from them since W left us.
I call them after supper to check up and they sound great.

My team from across the country are all here and we are planning for 2016.
A few of them said I looked great . Asked me my trick for losing weight.
Now I was a fit guy before all this , probably had about 10lbs to lose before BD.

Since BD I lost 24 lbs.
Not a diet of choice lol but it did it's job.

I have since gained back 10. I think I am comfortable at this weight.

I tried not to bring up W during the discussions . Eventually she came up and everyone was in shock. Also said that they can't understand how I look fine and not in a straight jacket myself. How I am dealing with it is amazing .

I believe I'm handling IT so well because I have faith in God and my W to fix this
To come back and be finally a whole person.

I'm not waiting for it but trust in life and W is strong.





Last edited by Irish M; 10/21/15 02:27 AM.

M51
XW43 (38 at bd)
BD1 MAY 30 2015
BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text
moved out Aug 2 2015
left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20)
Her divorce Final July 26 2016
Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
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Quote:
Not a diet of choice lol but it did it's job.
lol. My friend once referred to it as the "divorce diet". I laugh at that now. smile

Glad they are doing well and spending time with their grandparents. That's always nice.

AJ


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK
Put the glass down...
"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
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Just got back from a 3 night trip out of town.
On the flight back all I thought about was W.

When I want on trips in the past. She'd make me text her when I boarded the plane and the minute I landed.

Each night I'd call the girls and talk to my W about our day.
This Time as tough.

Upon pulling up on the driveway. W use to open the door and great me by my car. Jumping in my arms. Helping me in with my luggage.

This time . I had toake 2 trips from the car

I'm in the house now.
Tough coming back .just waiting for my D's to be dropped off by my parents.
So anxious to see them. I missed them like crazy.

They just pulled up.
I opened the door and they both jumped in my arms .
Huge long hugs

Love my D's

It makes it easier :-)

Habits of W will fade.


M51
XW43 (38 at bd)
BD1 MAY 30 2015
BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text
moved out Aug 2 2015
left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20)
Her divorce Final July 26 2016
Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
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Beautiful image of your Ds hugging you. In some ways your a very lucky man

Stay positive. Rd

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You post made me sad

your D are lucky to have you also

Yes the memories do fade

everyone adjusts

and things happen for us for the good..I read it all the time on these boards

The LBS seems to come up higher, we find ourselves and if the MLCer does not turn around ,we usually attract better partners down the road

Hang in there


married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
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Hey RD
Yes I know I'm lucky for my D's
Your posts to me help me stay positive.
Wish I could buy you a beer some day.

Hi Peacetoday,
Sorry I made you sad.. It shouldn't because the hug from my D's more than enough love I coukd ask for in a lifetime.

I'll tell you a little story about the bond me and my D's have.

I was always the one who sat on their beds and told them story's that I made up each night.
Even today they ask me about the adventures of Jeremy.
I was always volunteering at school events and outings.
Very present in their lives. They tell me everything. Yes even about the boys.

Me and W wanted to get married early in our relationship.
We decided to have kids and wait until they were older to share the wedding with us.
As a familly.

The day of or wedding 4 years ago my D's were so excited
I didn't see them all day but when they arrived in their dresses and walked into the room I cried. It made everyone else cry. Such an emotional day. W walked down the isle in tears. I'll never forget her as she looked at me. We had the ceremony and even had rings for the girls. Something I can never repeat and wouldn't if I wNted to. Was the moment of US.

The love we had as a familly was so strong. But not strong enough for MLC
My family is still strong . Only W is on vacation in Lalaland

Before there was not a text message or goodnight wish without expressing our love
my W was the same .
Today they get it from me.

Before D's couldn't walk by W without giving her a hug.
W had so much pride in our D's. Since MLC, W hasn't seen the D's in 75 days and no interest to try.

MLC W is abusive and narcissistic into drugs and drinking with OM

That's why I feel the D's seeing their mom like this is so wrong. They know it's not her and not safe.

They also don't hate her or blame themselves.

W told them they were more "my last name" girls
Also told them the wedding was fake ect.

D's know better. It was magical.

I'm in Canada and winter is soon arriving . Preparing the lawn , closing the pool, getting ready for the first snow fall ( hopefully only in December)

D's are right by my side helping out. This P.M I'll make apple crisp and bake some pumpkin seeds. Love this time of year.


M51
XW43 (38 at bd)
BD1 MAY 30 2015
BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text
moved out Aug 2 2015
left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20)
Her divorce Final July 26 2016
Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,227
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Again , can I just say you are a blessed man and the tale of your wedding was touching. MLC or not your W is giving up very important time with your Ds and it's time she can't get back. Carry on being the best dad in the world , you teaching you Ds with every hug and supporting them through a terrible time in their young lives.

Just as a side note , I started telling Oilly Oliie stories to my S20 when he was 2. Oliie was a boy ( in my mind ) who lived behind a scrap yard and had fantastic adventures with inventions he made from scrap All my kids were told the stories and S20 still remembers those stories.

Take care and stay strong for those Angels. Rd

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That was a beautiful story about your wedding!

Ive heard some people share how they had good Marriages here and that amazes me
Mine was not so good..so looking back we were a dead duck when MLC hit

I also don't really get the MLCer leaving the kids..That is my story too

But the drugs and drinking takes them away..WE are the lucky ones
we get to keep the stability of our lives and find ourselves

My kids and I became closer through ir all-

I hope you have a good weekend!


married 14 years
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Always brings me a smile when I read how you and your daughters spend time together.

Glad to hear you got some time away, makes home even more special when you come back, huh?

You sound good, strong and focused. Sounds like you are on a good path smile


Me 48 H 46 S 11
M 2004
BD 8/13
H moved out 2/15
-live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
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I had a conversation with an old friend who I leaned on 10 years ago during a similar sitch with W.

A little history.

10years ago W gave me the i love you but not in love with you.
At the time I thought it was depression . Baby blues .
Today I know it was a major flag of what was to come. Sort of a quarter life crisis.
We shared the house one week me .. One week her so the kids could stay stable.
It started in the summer months as this time around.

She was less narcissist but her needs we're number 1.
The week she was at the house I would drop off food packages ( milk, bread, fruit, etc ) she was not doing groceries.
This lasted a few weeks until she left to live with a girlfriend of hers.

She then had an affair with a married man who had kids. He promised her the world , he would separate , take care of her .. Bla bla bla.
This was near Christmas.

I remember reaching put to her mom telling her that something was off with her daughter. Wasn't normal she'd neglect the girls. MIL blew me off then as she did now. Funny also she doesn't recall this ever happened 10 years ago. Neither does my W.

The OM finally called it off since he had no intentions of leaving his W.
She crashed and came back.

We put it under the rug. I forgave her . Knowing in my gut she was not herself.

I' m not saying there's a pattern to her madness. This time around was going to happen no doubt about it.

Have any of you experience a quarter life crisis ... And does it have an impact on the midlife crisis outcome.

Just curious .. Not expecting or waiting for the same thing to happen this time.

It's just my way of understanding things :-)



Last edited by Irish M; 10/25/15 10:43 PM.

M51
XW43 (38 at bd)
BD1 MAY 30 2015
BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text
moved out Aug 2 2015
left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20)
Her divorce Final July 26 2016
Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
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