Five Years Ago Today

[job]

Tad,

As you will notice, I have merged your previous and new thread together because you've not reached 100 postings/replies on the previous thread. You can change the subject line within a thread at any time.

[job]

Tad,

I'm very happy to see an update from you. Wow! A lot has happened since you visited last!

So, you are going to be a grandfather in the fall. That's wonderful and I'm sure you will spoil the little one whenever you get the chance.

How is work going? I see that you are still friends at work w/the young lady.

Photography is a great hobby and it doesn't require conversing w/others unless you want to. I'm sure you've taken some great photos and just think, when the little one arrives you can take photos of him/her too.

You have a love for animals and I admire that. Animals can sense when someone is not going to harm them and they will gravitate towards you. You enjoy being around animals. Have you ever given any thought to volunteering at a shelter? You would be wonderful working w/the animals.

Tad, you are slowly waking up from the deep grief that you've suffered over the loss of your marriage. Don't rush the process and it all takes time.

I'm proud of you Tad...you've even though you don't realize it, you've come a long way since the first day of posting here. Keep it up!

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Everything that job just said a hearty yes.

I am also glad that your other post you posted seemed to go away?

If you can you have wisdom others can benefit from Tad.

Are you glad for the changes you have made and the person you are now?

[tadpole1025]

Thanks Job and Jack.

Job,

Work is going great. I love it. The days are long sometimes (I work 4 10-hour days) but overall I enjoy the job more than my radio career. I get along great with everyone and my lady friend is a very good friend. We talk a lot and have tons in common. No dating though...

I enjoy the photography too. I'm a newbie, but it is a lot of fun. I take pictures of wildlife....mostly zoo animals and birds and ducks that I see at the pond. The pond is about two miles from my place so it is real easy to get to.

I have thought of volunteering at a shelter, but the photography keeps me quite busy. Maybe someday. Knowing me though, I'd want to bring them all home. I'm currently feeding a homeless cat in my apartment complex. He's getting brave and now will come onto my patio. Haven't been able to get close enough to pet him yet.

Yes, I am waking up and I have come a long way. It is a very long road. I still wonder if I "went through something" myself just because of the way that I've changed. My boys will sometimes laugh at me and shake their heads. They know that I'm different too. I've heard that this experience changes people....boy, that's the truth.

Jack,

It is so nice seeing you here on the boards! You posted to me in the very beginning and handed me a few 2x4s. Thank you.

As for wisdom, I'm not going away...just won't be posting much on my thread since things have settled and there isn't much to report. I will check in from time to time and post to newbies when I can. There's just so many of them. I would have never believed that this MLC mess was so common.

Yes, I do like the person I am now very much. More so than who I was. I have more compassion for people, less uptight...as I said in my earlier post, there is a calmness or peace about me. I'm just.....at peace. As for my love of animals, I think that my little rats that I had kind of helped with that. They showed me unconditional love at my lowest/darkest point. I know, sounds kind of funny, but it's true. They helped me a lot believe it or not.

You mention the changes that I made. I'm not sure that I actually knowingly MADE changes. They just seemed to happen. I kind of "morphed" into something different. I seem to enjoy things that I did as a kind....animals, sea life, the ocean...stuff that I kind of lost a long the way once I got married.

I would love to meet someone to do things with and share things with, but if that never happens, that's cool too. Again, I'm at peace.

Thanks for checking in...

Tad

[ericmsant2]

Holy Hog doodoo! It's Tad!

Hey bro nice to get an update. I've seen the pictures on facebook and I actually think you have an eye for photography. Keep at it.

Again, I'm at peace.

Best line I've seen from you in a while!

You know how to reach me if ya need me.

Peace,
Eric

[tadpole1025]

Thanks Eric. I do enjoy the photography!

Nice to hear from you!

Tad

[Mighty]

Hi Tad! I am so glad you posted. I think of you and hope you are well. I am glad you have found things you are interested in. And, I totally think it's ok to be more of an introvert now. Things change, and we change.

I have always been an extrovert and thrived off of being around others. Now, I cherish my alone time. The things you are doing with your time sound so peaceful and fulfilling to me.

I think you have to really go through a transition, like wean yourself off from an old lifestyle to appreciate the a quieter, yet more fulfilling lifestyle like that.

Good for you, Tad. You sound good, and that makes me happy.

Take good care of yourself and keep on keepin on!

[MrBond]

Hi Tad,

I also am glad to hear from you. I'm glad you're making strides, however I am really worried about you still battling with depression. I mean, you're struggling to go out and do what you used to enjoy. In a way, I get a feeling that the community here and you reaching out is a way of trying to have a connection with people.

Even the way you described your W is worrisome. You really shouldn't even notice that type of thing the way that you have been.

Put it this way...do you think your sons would want you to be like that?

The photography is great. I'm a photographer myself so I get where you're coming from. When was the last time you got a physical exam? How's your health? I know before you were seeing a iC for yourself. Have you stopped?

Just concerned about you my friend.

[exquisitetobe]

Mr.Bond, trying to have a connection with people?
Isn' t it part of forum? We share our stories and make connections with some of the people we relate with?
I am not arguing your point; i don' t understand it. Eventho i do not know who they are, Bea, Ajm, kimmerz, eric, Jack, Tad... they are amoung a few i have met here and whom i keep up with.

Please, re-word or explain what you mean!

[tadpole1025]

Thanks Mighty, MrBond and Exquisite...

Mighty, I do enjoy my life now. It's more peaceful. Haha.

MrBond, I'm not sure what you mean by this:

Even the way you described your W is worrisome. You really shouldn't even notice that type of thing the way that you have been.

The only thing that I said in my most recent post is:

We do not talk. My sons told me that she was in a really bad accident a few weeks ago and totaled her car. She claims that she doesn't remember what happened. She is working her third job in less than two years. I can't even remember when I saw her or spoke to her last. It's been more than a year.

I mean, you're struggling to go out and do what you used to enjoy. In a way, I get a feeling that the community here and you reaching out is a way of trying to have a connection with people.

I'm not really "struggling" to get out anymore. I choose not to. I get a lot of socializing in at work and when I do choose to get out of the house, I'll try a restaurant that I've never been to or go to the park or something. I don't do the bar scene since I no longer drink.

My post wasn't really meant as a "reach out." It was more of an update/thank you/goodbye. There isn't really anything new in my sitch and hasn't been for a while. I'll come here now and then to post to others, but most likely won't be starting any new threads unless something drastic happens.

I'm no longer seeing a counselor and really should see a doctor soon. It's been too long. I've lost some weight recently due to the fact that I gave up soda, drink lots of water and have been walking more.

I feel the best I've felt in a long time. To be honest, I believe getting my own place really helped. Being in a cramped apartment with three grown sons was just a constant reminder of the mess she left us in. I'm good. I don't socialize much. (Ok, maybe I should.) But...I get to come and go as I please and do whatever I want and when I want. Do I still have days? Sure, but they are occurring less and less.

Anyways, that's all for now. It's laundry day.

Tad