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Hi Tad, I'm glad to hear you are settled in your new place. I think the period after you first get in can be difficult - particularly if you haven't lived alone for a while. But I found that does pass and a new 'normal' begins. I enjoy living alone now and rarely feel lonely...but I do make sure I have regular 'plans' and reach out to people to arrange things.

I think we all revisit our M's from time to time in our minds. They were such a significant part of our lives and we loved our spouses - and I understand what you are saying about that feeling like a different life now.

All of what you post suggests a need for a little more GALing....do you have some new plans in this area to fit with your new living arrangements?

smile xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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Thanks Cadet. That was the last I heard as well. She was one that used to post to me a lot in the beginning. I hope things worked out for her.

Quote:
I think we all revisit our M's from time to time in our minds. They were such a significant part of our lives and we loved our spouses - and I understand what you are saying about that feeling like a different life now.


Thanks Sotto.

I sometimes think: "where did it go?" or "what the hell happened?" Funny how life changes....sometimes, not so funny.

Quote:
All of what you post suggests a need for a little more GALing....do you have some new plans in this area to fit with your new living arrangements?


No plans yet. I do know I need to get out and meet people. I just don't know where to start. (95% of my socializing happens at work.) There is a lot more to do on this side of town. A lot of cool events happen over here. Many have suggested a meet up group. I joined one months ago, but never really did anything with it. Hopefully, that will change now that I'm living in the "cool" part of town.

Has anyone else had success with meet up groups? I'm not looking to date, just looking for people to do things with.

smile

Tad


Currently:
M 56 XW 57
Sons 38,33,31,29

The Sitch:
Married 26 years
EA w/ OM 9/10
Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary)
Sep 12/10
She wants D 1/11
W files 5/11
D final 10/11
XW marries OM 6/13
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I have joined a Meetup group about a year ago and I regularly see them. Some have become good friends of mine. I go there to interact with people not to find a date and I love it.

Hope it helps.

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I never did actually go on a Meetup, but I did join various other things - a ladies social group, divorce group, volunteering in charity bookstore, salsa class, yoga group - all of these things and a few other new female friends mean I keep pretty busy and happy.

The cool part of town sounds like a good place to be. I find if you wonder about and look at signs in Windows, stores and cafes, you can often find new things to do. I recall that you love animals and wonder if you would consider some kind of volunteering that involves them perhaps? A friend of mine does weekly walks at a dog rescue centre, which I think sounds lovely.

Have a good weekend :-)


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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Thanks Rouky and Sotto.

Well, I joined a few groups today. We'll see what happens.

Sotto, I do love animals very much and the rescue center thing sounds really cool. That sounds like something I can get into. I'll check and see if there is something like that here.

I've also thought about doing something with the zoo too. I live in Arizona though and lately, it's just been too hot. 118 last week!!!

Tad


Currently:
M 56 XW 57
Sons 38,33,31,29

The Sitch:
Married 26 years
EA w/ OM 9/10
Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary)
Sep 12/10
She wants D 1/11
W files 5/11
D final 10/11
XW marries OM 6/13
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 813
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hi tad!
I don' t think you are entering your own midlife crisis. You are discovering your true passion. your thoughts are positive reflexion of your passion and desire. Your boys are now MEN and it is time to think of yourself. I see this as a normal part of life. I will be there soon myself. In a few years, all 4 of my children will be gone from home. I have been thinking about what I could or would do when the time comes and I AM SCARED.. I wish I could stop time for a bit but life goes on and I will have to face it when it gets here.. I wish I could find you on fb but I don' t know who I am looking for. lol .

Sharing of personal info is not allowed, i.e., not even hints about your email address. I have removed what you posted concerning your email address.

Last edited by job; 06/26/16 03:16 PM.
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exquisitetobe and Tad,

Sharing of personal info is not allowed, i.e., not even hints about what your email address is. I have copied and pasted what is considered a Board policy for your info:

"This is a public forum. Exchanging private contact information with other users is not allowed. Our purpose in making this On Line Community available to you is to offer you a place to publicly give and receive Divorce Busting help, and to support one another in saving your marriages and keeping your families together. It was never our intention to provide a means of privately connecting with others via the internet. There are many other sites where that is encouraged. This is not one of them. We are here to help and support you via this public forum."

Last edited by job; 06/26/16 03:19 PM.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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I apologize.. i knew my name could not be use but my e- mail does not reveal my name. I thought it was to my discretion to give it. Once again, i am sorry and i won' t do it again..

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exquisitetobe,

Please do not apologize. We all have done this and unless you've had your hands smacked for doing so, you wouldn't know about the Board policy.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
#2702998 09/08/16 06:14 PM
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Hello everyone. It has been a while since I last posted. I've stayed away because thee is nothing new in my sitch and because it is too heartbreaking to read all the new threads from newbies. I've titled this thread "The Long Goodbye" because unless something drastic happens in my sitch, this will likely be my last thread since there is simply nothing new to report.

For the newbies who may want to read my story from the beginning, my very first post (started February 2011) can be found here:

25 years Gone....?

I want to start by saying thank you to everyone who has ever posted to me, messaged me and friended me on FB and some who have even spoken to me on the phone. I would love to mention names, but won't because I don't want to forget anyone. You know who you are and I THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!

UPDATES:

XW - We do not talk. My sons told me that she was in a really bad accident a few weeks ago and totaled her car. She claims that she doesn't remember what happened. She is working her third job in less than two years. I can't even remember when I saw her or spoke to her last. It's been more than a year.

Sons

S30 is living with his GF and is expecting a baby in November. It will be my first grandchild. He is currently not speaking to XW.

S25 is currently living with his GF. Talks to XW occasionally.

S23 and S21 are sharing an apartment and talk to XW once every two or three weeks. S23 still has not met OM.

As for me....

I've been living alone since May. It took a little getting used to, but I enjoy it. I come and go as I please and don't have to answer to anyone. It's nice.

I don't talk to any of my former radio friends with the occasional message on FB. My one friend that I still talk to is my best friend. He lives in Florida and flies to Arizona once or twice a year to visit.

I do have friends at work but that is all they are: friends at WORK. One of them, a lady friend that I have mentioned in previous threads, is really cool, but we have no relationship outside of work. I've been to her place one time because she wanted to show me her new place, but that is it.

I pretty much keep to myself. I prefer it that way. I'd love to have someone to do things with, but I'm ok if that never happens.

This entire experience has changed me. I'm not even sure how to explain it. It seems that I have "settled down" (whatever that means.) It's the best way to describe it though. I feel like I have become the person that I was mean to be. I'm a better person. I've sort of turned into a recluse which is a far stretch from my radio days. There is a "calmness" about me and I sometimes wonder if I went through "something" myself. I am very different from the man I was 5 years ago.

I've developed a love/compassion for animals. I visit the park once a week and feed the Geese. I actually look forward to it. It gives me time away from work and home and gives me a chance to think and reflect. And just be me.

I've picked up photography as a hobby. A friend at work gave me a really nice camera. I enjoy it. It gets me away from everything. In the past month, I've been to the park a few times, a Butterfly garden and two zoos. Haha. I really enjoy taking pictures of animals and have posted a lot of them on my FB page. I've received quite a few compliments on them. I enjoy it a lot.

That is pretty much it.

smile

Again, I just wanted to thank everyone. I will be back to check in from time to time. I'm taking a break from the boards, but not for good. Just for now....

Finally, for the newbies. All I can tell you is to read, read, read. Come to this site to vent. The advice you get here is priceless. People will tell you that it gets better. You won't believe them, but it does.

Thanks for reading.

Tad


Last edited by job; 09/09/16 04:54 AM.

Currently:
M 56 XW 57
Sons 38,33,31,29

The Sitch:
Married 26 years
EA w/ OM 9/10
Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary)
Sep 12/10
She wants D 1/11
W files 5/11
D final 10/11
XW marries OM 6/13
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