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mutatio Offline OP
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I reside in a quiet world. Not much is happening at home. I fully and completely accept my situation. For the most part, I am at peace with the possibility of my wife choosing divorce. I will be sad and disappointed if that is her choice but that is not her choice today.

I chose to reside in the here and now. I truly am becoming a better man.
I feel joy when I think how I have and will grow through this experience.



“Character is destiny” Heraclitus
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Good morning, my friend!

I love going back and reading your post on my thread of how you love mornings and the possibilities they hold. I sat looking out over the water of the bay this morning, watching the gulls, watching the morning unfold. I basked in the beauty of nature for a moment. A gift indeed!

I also took a moment late last night to walk to the beach, lie on the sand and look at the stars. Listening to the waves crash. Closing my eyes and praying to the Lord, just one small human in this vast world.

I haven't felt joy yet, but the sparks are there. To hear you feel joy is so uplifting.

It is evident in your writings you are growing and changing and becoming a better version of You! I am celebrating this with you and for you!

May today be full of endless gifts and opportunities to see the beauty which surrounds you.

xoxo


M 43 H 48
M 19y T 20y
D 14
S 12
H returned home from out of country 8/8/15
BD 8/11/15
EA Began end of June/beginning of July 2015; ongoing
PA H denies
ILYBINILWY
Lost08 #2613439 10/08/15 01:10 PM
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You are doing great focusing on the present and to enjoy it.

Your strength to deal with your situation is inspiring.

How did you get on with thinking of something newto try as suggested a few posts back?

Enjoy your day


R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together
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Originally Posted By: mutatio
I reside in a quiet world. Not much is happening at home. I fully and completely accept my situation. For the most part, I am at peace with the possibility of my wife choosing divorce. I will be sad and disappointed if that is her choice but that is not her choice today.

I chose to reside in the here and now. I truly am becoming a better man.
I feel joy when I think how I have and will grow through this experience.

If I am not mistaken that is detachment. The dynamic of everything will change at some point and you will be ready and prepared for whatever it is.

You say "things are quiet at home" that's a result of you and your behavior, it's probably similar to what has been in the past, it's how you react that's changed and things don't get so messed up as they once did.

You now realise you are in the driving seat for where your M and R with your W end up, use that control wisely and maintain the focus on you, a bit of sitting back and just letting things be for a while, probably makes sense. Doing nothing is a choice.


- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow
- Consult your plan, not your feelings
- If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
Avanti #2613734 10/09/15 03:25 AM
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mutatio Offline OP
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Avanti thank you for these thoughts. I am improving myself with constant adjustments in attitude. My current struggle is the same as Photokas. Asitis addressed it perfectly on her thread today.

Roiste thank you for your support. As you know, in a difficult moment it's uplifting to get support from a friend, thanks. I have been so busy at work that I have not been able to give the new ideas much thought. I hope to finish the current deadline this weekend. Then I have some breathing room. The new ideas are important to me.

Vanilla, I have not forgot about you and the next round.

I posted a quote I found while reading on Photokas old thread. It has helped me the last few weeks and I would like to share it with all of you.

"Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely."



“Character is destiny” Heraclitus
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Such a great quote you ended with Mutatio. It's so true. The law of impermanence tells us that all relationships will come to an end at some point either by separation or death. It's a law of nature.

How we deal with all of that is the true measure of our lives and for those of us on this board, we are still choosing to fight for our marriages, even if the choice to do so has to remain relatively silent.

I admire the courage and steadfastness you are bringing to your situation, there's a wisdom in your words and actions that will live on far beyond the dramatization of this transitional phase.

Sending you strength my friend,

PP


M 39 W 36
T5 M3
BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day
Served 9/15
D finalized 6/17
PigPen #2613958 10/09/15 08:05 PM
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Hello mutatio,

Sounds like you are moving in the right direction. Keep up the good work. Focus on your goals and post your work on them every day.

(((hugs)))


Me: 42
H: 45
M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs
D: 17
D: 15
S: 12
I kicked him out 8/21/15
I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
Mona52 #2614045 10/09/15 11:23 PM
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Hi Mutatio,

Passing by and giving you my support. I am happy to see you are in such a good place. Being calm, and at peace in this situation is key, it will allow you to make rational decisions, and be able to accept whatever comes with this.

I am continuing to pray for you and your family.


M: 34 W: 33
S: 7
S: 14 months
BD: 6/2015
Separation: 6/2015
Back and Forth between Home and Moms
EMMess #2614058 10/10/15 12:05 AM
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Hello, Mutatio! Dropping in to check on you...

Love the quote!


Me: 48 H: 50 - Married 21 - 3-S: 29,19,19 2-D: 27,26
BD: 08/2015 - D filed & OW disc: 09/2015

"Surrender to What Is, Let Go of What Was, Have Faith in What Will Be." -S Ricotti
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mutatio Offline OP
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Hi everyone, it's a quiet evening at home. Not much to report. I hope to get a lot done this weekend. My son wanted me to play video games with him after dinner. I said yes even though I am terrible at it and have no interest in it. He was really happy. I am glad we shared the moment. I think I will offer to do it again with him when ever he wants. Soon he will be to old to hang with the old man.

I would not have chosen this path but if I have to travel it, I will enjoy myself.



“Character is destiny” Heraclitus
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