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#2613514 10/08/15 04:12 PM
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Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
V
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Last conversation with RD.

Hi Vanillia [from RD]

Sorry to hear sis is still ill. Is she on the road to recovery ?


Yes RD, livers can recover and she could if she chose improve her diet. She does exercise in the summer, tennis although afterwards they tend to eat junk, drink wine and coffee. When she looses weight she crash diets on prepackaged stuff, slimfast etc, I would rather she juiced and gave up the junk. She says life is too short, nothing I can do to persuade her there are better ways to be healthy.

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iPad thing sounds like a nightmare and maybe Samsung is the way to go especially for peace of mind.

Something new to learn. Android and the advantages in the comms over time will be enormous.

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The L is being paid to do a job and you should follow their advice Let L deal with all this as you have enough on your plate.

Yes RD, I also help clients with D and S paperwork, we prepare it for them, build spreadsheets and fill in the forms for the L to alter. So I am familiar with it. We are cheaper than an L for this and probably more efficient plus we are often looking at business structures and loans to fund D and S. My cost is 125 and L 250 plus and there is VAT in the UK too, so an L can cost 300 per hour here. It isn't sensible to use an L for 6 hours when one can prepare and get the L to work 2 hours. So its a cost thing.

Re the Fins, what's the issue?

The issue is the paperwork, I havent been able to invoice clients for work done, mainly because the timesheets werent processed by WH and the time done was incorrectly allocated, so work done for one client was ascribed to another. WH set up clients that didn't exist, duplicated them. His paperwork was so poor, new clients didn't have contracts in place, receipts werent processed so i didnt know which clients had paid which bills. Cash payments were in the wrong bank accounts, including personal ones when they should be business.

A real mess, when WH took this over in Feb 2014, it was on the basis that he would do the business admin and I would do the tec stuff for clients. He didn't do this and I am coming to the conclusion that he has deliberately tried to destroy the business as it was healthy and growing.

He also ran the agency payrolls for 12 months and fortunately the problems were all admin and I have resolved them as a priority. He did the CIS and I am currently resolving this.

Frankly for a high fly qualified management accountant, very poor indeed. I have checked everything he did and it has been very depressing.

I always put clients and HMRC first on this. If I go under then it isn't for taking short cuts, all clients will be treated properly and all regulatory work will be done correctly, no shortcuts. WH did no other client work, thank goodness.



Is the company making profit of at least not losing?

it was profitable and paid the bills until WH took over the admin and accounting. The WIP will make a profit.


Is the issue cash flow?

Yes, the issue is cashflow. I havent felt confident with the timesheet allocations that WH did so this is something I have had to review. Until I am sure its correct then I wont invoice, if there is any doubt it is in the clients favour.

Plus since clients are duplicated then time is all over the place, once I have invoiced I cant then re-invoice if time is missed. WH didn't ask for cash on account for new clients, and didnt chase outstanding debtors, even those from before he took over. I have obviously invoiced for stand alone jobs which I completed, such as probate and investigations.


You've shown us you are a demon with the numbers so what's needed ?

Reconciliations and review so I can invoice. its all admin, not high fly at all. Some clients haven't been invoiced for two sets of tax returns or accounts. WH didn't do it and in the end said "I am not doing any boring work", in the meanwhile time marches on so we are looking at 3 years worth soon. Of course its in WIP. In a way its a good thing as at least I can invoice and the money isn't spent by WH. The other issue is that WH didnt follow the new client process as laid down by our institute and I have had to report the breach and put a plan in place to rectify it. Until it is I daren't take on new clients. WH didn't revise the contracts last year as required, he demanded I rewrite them which I did, said I didnt have the 'process' documented for him to flow. When I did he said that I wasnt delegating and insulted me. A spreadsheet he constructed appears to suggest he did do the work but the files show differently. The new contracts are with an L and can be issued soon, and that is a huge admin cost as WH didn't update the client work databases when new clients or work came along.

We may have done work for clients that haven't had contract updates for the work involved. if I invoice before that's done then I may not be insured under my PI insurance.

The only good thing is that I kept the money laundering under tight control and because no invoices and contracts have been issued then no cash has changed hands. Its a mess, whenever I tried to review WH would throw a rant and insult me, or not turn up. I froze. At least it is only a fifteen month period.



Cash flow or more customers?

Cashflow, I am turning customers away, we have a waiting list of 10 customers. We will lose them soon as their tax returns need to be done.


Can expenses be reduced?

I hope to move into my own offices and am using the pension fund assets to do it. This will reduce the value of the Pension Fund for the D too.

I laid off three staff in order to save cost but ended up doing the work myself. I work about 90 hours a week. Most of it is rectification work, I feel it is so sensitive that I need to check everything myself. It is going to be right and valid.

If WH had been other than a director and shareholder then I would have implemented controls as I do in other areas. WH was so abusive whenever I wanted a review that I ceased to check. When I did he threw his toys out of the pram, I had no boundaries and was weak. I am taking responsibility for my part in this and its uncomfortable to do.


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As for feeling stupid, I have to use some harsh words here, your a decent, kind, intelligent, compassionate person, why would you be looking for signs of abuse and you loved this man so certain traits ( to put it kindly ) he had, you accepted or rationalised. Does that make you stupid ?

Of course not, it makes you normal so please move on from that. You beating yourself with a stick that almost anyone on this planet could use.


I know some of this intellectually although spiritually I lose connection with my higher power sometimes tempoarily, the feelings of trauma are still there.

I decided to be authentic on this RD, otherwise I think sometimes it looks to others as if it is easy and that strength is innate. It isn't like that. To me it is important that the truth is out there, that my journey shows the ups and downs, the triumphs and the struggles.

You are very kind, loving man RD, although this experience has brought me down to earth with a bump. WH is such a sad destructive soul, I would he were healed for his own sake and for those he comes into contact with. I hope his higher spirit reaches him and that he grows into his potential. I can only keep projecting this for him. I will not be abused, and WH and I are to move on. My journey is a different path.


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You seem so down lovely V , would you please consider a trip to visit Glam Sis I think it would do you and sis the world of good. These times are so hard and we have no choice but to seek a way to deal with them. You are so kind to so many on here and you need some of that kindness for yourself.

I agree, I am traumatised rather than depressed sometimes and overwhelmed by the damage that WH did in such a short time, although Glam Sis and I talk every day. She would like to come and help, if I could delegate I would. There will be a time when I have caught up and I can delegate.
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What's happened to the GAL of late?

I still GAL, mainly work GAL. I gamanon every Tueday and orange Wenesday with films. My GAL score is about 20. I do monitor it.

Are we still tripping the light fantastic with the dancing?

Not at the moment, although I plan to let myself go dancing again from November to January as a reward!
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Come on Vanillia , many of us on here use you as a guiding light and let the light reflect back.

That is so sweet to say, I confess that often when I read posts I see some very lovely things being said and since the abuse I have been a hole in the doughnut person recently. To my deep regret I often don't thank others on their threads for their postivity and I can choose in future to embrace that. A 180 is coming.
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You are worth so much more than this cr@p and it will be over one day and you will be in the red convertible, cruising along the sea front without a care in the world (only which bottle of white to open when you decide to head home).

Life will be good and this chapter on your life will be a entitled, Another challenge completed. You will get though this because you can, you've had a life of ups and downs and this is a down. Lets remember all the ups.

I often remember the way you post re H1 (sorry that's a terrible way to name him) and it always makes me feel good. I would love to have met you as a couple, I bet it was magical. There was a huge up in your life and there will be plenty more.


Love shows doesn't it even through these strange posting windows. I read the love you have for your children. It was your thread RD that gave me the courage to join the board. So I am glad that H1 (its the board convention), is providing comfort to you, it would give him great pleasure and joy to know that, so I thank you for him and in his memory. The anniversary of his death is on the 17th December, the same day I lost my little girl and my cat Big G died, so I will celebrate the love on that date with you.
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Take care special lady, post often so you many friends on here can offer some support Rd. xxxx

Now I have my Samsung I will!

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Enough back to posting on my ledger!!!!!

Tons of love and rainbow strength

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
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Last conversation with Avanti

I am struggling, the Fins are awful.

So are the Swedish, but what's that got to do with it? :-)

Now then.....

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My sleep is disrupted and I struggle every day as more and more crap from WH piles up and up. Saw L yesterday, she wants to go on the offensive and to offset the increase in WH pension scheme against my settlement.

I just want this over, done finished.

The deception, lies and out and out manipulation is becoming very clear.

I feel so stupid not to have seen it.

You are being unnecessarily tough on yourself and if you saw someone doing that what would you say to them?

I would probably say, evaluate the truth in it and make a plan, instead of just sitting with your head up your jacksie, complaining. Plus - life is very short, why waste more time thinking about a waster? Go enjoy life.

So here it is:

Plan for turnaround in Fins

What is causing the issue? I work hard and yes I GAL too. PMA is positive but in these mornings, I wake at 7 and sit and veg out until nearly 10 because I feel so overwhelmed. Once up and 'at it' I am ok. Its the getting to it which is an issue. Sleep is possible but not restful.

Whenever I tackle the books I see the damage WH has done and I fall into a funk about it. These are triggers for me, spending cash on himself when the bills remain unpaid.

If I can just suck it up and get it done then I can file the paperwork and invoices and I will never have to look at it again unless HMRC asks a question. At least I wont have to post items from bank statements arising from WH period anymore.

It is the reconciliations that are needed.

One of my problems is WH moved money around the accounts without really leaving a proper paper trail. It takes hours to track a transaction around. The current paperwork is fine as I do that myself, it isn't in a good enough state to delegate any of it. There are now paying in books with copies of transfers, nothing is missing. Accounts are named properly and transfers done properly.If I have to transfer say 1000, one of the tricks is to make the transfer an odd sum so transfer 1010.28 for 1000 transferred on 28 October. Each transfer is unique and trackable. Makes life easier!

WH worked from spreadsheets which are non functional, without dates and descriptions. He kept accusing me of not having accounting systems, untrue, we have been using the same accounting package since 2003 and it is on virtual servers. He just preferred his spreadsheets which have almost no value. they are unusable and the information is incomplete. All transfers are called transfers, duh! Its like saving letters in word with the title 'letter', doesn't say who to, what for, when, where or why. I am never opening his spreadsheets again, they confuse me very much and putting them right will take too much effort, so I have started again, from scratch. This means 18 months of reposting and reconciling. i am almost there. I need to push it home.

Every drawer, cupboard and zipper file I opened had invoices in it. Some going back up to two years. Unsorted, duplicates and a big mess. This I sorted, so with the very odd exception its now only current stuff which is filed about once every two weeks. this will now be done on a Friday. Every Friday.

I need changes for me.

Those changes need to be now and need to be fast. The Fins (really Avanti!), I think its because I get it 80% done and then never finish my own Fins. So here is what I am going to do, every weekend from Thursday afternoon until Monday morning I will work on my Fins and nothing else until everything is cleared. Only Saturday night GAL. A member of staff is coming in to help me on Sunday- at home. Every spare minute will be spent on my Fins not client work. Its not in that bad a shape. Its just posting of accounts to be done.


--------------------------------------------
The iPad is annoying. It's not the end of the world, you seem to be very unlucky as I've not had any issues with them. When IT goes mad it's usually because you filled up the storage, is the iPad quite full?

Sadly no, there is loads of space. It's the wifi and bluetooth not working I think.

Part of the problem is that WH 'wiped' all the info from 2 ipads and 2 iphones, quite deliberately in my view. I just don't know what is coming next!!!!

I use iexplorer to clear it to my laptop. I now have a 'cheapie' Samsung and with my chromecast I should be able to do lots of projecting to my Samsung TVs. I love technology and could loose my self for hours in it.


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Your very very very very exceedingly WH and his shenanigans is all part of the package and you are taking it personally, what would you say to someone who asked you what they do, if they were in your position?

I would say 'yes, I get it' and 'nothing you can do'.

Sadly abuse isnt like that, I get flashbacks and trauma hitting me, and I will recover, I am learning as many recovery techniques as I possibly can. I will pay it forward here. I have been on this board a year and I have learned as much in one year as I have learned in the whole of my life. I also have learned to express myself a little, my early posts here were in accounts style and slightly precise. I have learned that I have an on line personality and a way of expressing which has spilled over into my ordinary life.

I decided last week to visit the supermarket where I last had my major breakdown- this was after reviewing this on the board. I thought it was time I faced my distress and tackled it head on. I even bought apple juice, which I gave away. It took a lot out of me and set me back for a couple of days. On Tuesday I will go again and I will keep on doing it until I am free of the fear. I am developing some techniques which I will share. I think they will be very useful.


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Time to turn that V. Incisiveness inwards, you know the answers are there, hopefully we can help you to gain access to them.

Yes, I know. I need action not activity!

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For what it's worth, I think your glam sis's situation is weighing you down as all the information you have on her is verbal. Isn't it time to go and see her, for you and for her?

Yes, you are right although we face time. Glam sis is very overweight (UK size 16, US size 14) at the moment and it concerns me. I have arranged that she is coming down with favourite cousin to the Brighton flat soon where we do girlie. She wants to do Xmas shopping in the Brighton Laines (which are amazing by the way).

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Thank you for your post, I see Avanti, you are doing a V probe on V!!!

Tons of hugs

V

Last edited by Vanilla; 10/08/15 04:24 PM.

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,533
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Originally Posted By: Vanilla
Cadet could you explain the little click box on the last step of the link icon please?

When it says prevent further posts on the thread, is this on the old or the new thread?

And does clicking the box 'lock' the thread?

Thanks

V

It actually says

"prevent this page from creating additional dialog pages"

I clicked it on your previous thread and now I can't get that button to work on that thread. ?? ?? ??

Let me research the "lock this topic" box(underneath the reply box and signature box), it appears for me on my moderator log on however I dont know if it appears for you - I will check it out and let you know.

EDIT - No I am the only one that can lock threads, you can't do it, with this software.

Last edited by Cadet; 10/08/15 06:00 PM.

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Hi Vanllla Thanks for the comprehensive answers. My take on the delegation is it needs to be done. Easy for me to say but I'm sure you have staff that are competent to do this. Even if they carry the load and you spot check.

0 customers waiting. Big no no. There has to be a way for these customers to be added to client list correctly and promptly. This is a priority. Even if they are added as a cash on delivery / filing basis then it needs to be done. Cash flow knocking on your door

Glad glam sis is recovering and I'm delighted to hear that Could she come and stay for company and recovery ?

The abuse you suffered has been done and can't be changed however you can deal with it in lots of ways and for an untrained fool like myself , I would accept its happened and MAYBE you could have avoided some of it , now it's time to let it go and move forward. I can see you agreed to some extent as you still have positive words for H , which is a measure of your great character

I'm quite good at at remembering and I'm almost embarrassed to ask but your little girl. ? Please ignore the question if it's inappropriate but did I miss this ?

Your pos was strong and it's was good to see that. I say this quite a bit on here but thanks for being Vanillia Carry on being Vanillia and only good things can happen.

Take care. Rd

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V
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Originally Posted By: Cadet
Originally Posted By: Vanilla
Cadet could you explain the little click box on the last step of the link icon please?

When it says prevent further posts on the thread, is this on the old or the new thread?

And does clicking the box 'lock' the thread?

Thanks

V


It actually says

"prevent this page from creating additional dialog pages"

I clicked it on your previous thread and now I can't get that button to work on that thread. ?? ?? ??

Let me research the "lock this topic" box(underneath the reply box and signature box), it appears for me on my moderator log on however I dont know if it appears for you - I will check it out and let you know.

EDIT - No I am the only one that can lock threads, you can't do it, with this software.


Thanks Cadet his means that I can still quote and others can't accidentally post to lock my thread.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,533
Likes: 78
C
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Offline
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Joined: Nov 2009
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Originally Posted By: Vanilla
Originally Posted By: Cadet
Originally Posted By: Vanilla
Cadet could you explain the little click box on the last step of the link icon please?

When it says prevent further posts on the thread, is this on the old or the new thread?

And does clicking the box 'lock' the thread?

Thanks

V


It actually says

"prevent this page from creating additional dialog pages"

I clicked it on your previous thread and now I can't get that button to work on that thread. ?? ?? ??

Let me research the "lock this topic" box(underneath the reply box and signature box), it appears for me on my moderator log on however I dont know if it appears for you - I will check it out and let you know.

EDIT - No I am the only one that can lock threads, you can't do it, with this software.


Thanks Cadet his means that I can still quote and others can't accidentally post to lock my thread.

V

It has nothing to do with quoting it has to do with links and naming that link.

Right now no one can do that on your previous thread, I think.

At least not with the button, you can still enter the html code manually and do it, but the dialog box is disabled.


Me-70, D37,S36
Joined: Oct 2014
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V
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OP Offline
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V
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Originally Posted By: Cadet
Originally Posted By: Vanilla
Originally Posted By: Cadet
Originally Posted By: Vanilla
Cadet could you explain the little click box on the last step of the link icon please?

When it says prevent further posts on the thread, is this on the old or the new thread?

And does clicking the box 'lock' the thread?

Thanks

V


It actually says

"prevent this page from creating additional dialog pages"

I clicked it on your previous thread and now I can't get that button to work on that thread. ?? ?? ??

Let me research the "lock this topic" box(underneath the reply box and signature box), it appears for me on my moderator log on however I dont know if it appears for you - I will check it out and let you know.

EDIT - No I am the only one that can lock threads, you can't do it, with this software.


Thanks Cadet his means that I can still quote and others can't accidentally post to lock my thread.

V

It has nothing to do with quoting it has to do with links and naming that link.

Right now no one can do that on your previous thread, I think.

At least not with the button, you can still enter the html code manually and do it, but the dialog box is disabled.


OK. Can't see the benefit in that choice in many circumstances.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,533
Likes: 78
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Originally Posted By: Vanilla
OK. Can't see the benefit in that choice in many circumstances.

V

Me neither.

I will go back to ignoring it to be honest. smile smile smile


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Hi V.

Just stopping in to say hi and that I'm still reading along. I'm sorry you have so many difficulties to deal with but I'm confident you'll find your way through.

RD might be right about a visit to glam sis though.

Enjoy your GAL


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
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