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Joined: Aug 2015
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Well done G


M: 50
S: 25

Changing Life
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NDY Offline
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Good man. Well done G. First baby step taken. All journeys start with a first step. Now onwards.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
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ATPeace Offline OP
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Ok is this onwards ? Or backwards ?

QUOTE FROM SANDI2 The woman is designed in such a way that she must respect him before she can feel those "in-love" feelings. If the respect is lost, her desire is lost. That is why H's hear "I love you, but I'm not in love with you". She puts you into a friend or brother zone. I have yet to meet a man who wanted his W to love him like a brother.

So sandi2 how does one gain her respect back


Me:48 W 41
M:18 T:26
2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
D filed 06/17
Separate houses 10/17
D Final 29/12//17.
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Great job on the class!


M 37
W 34

T 12
M 8
D 7
S 4

Need break 4/12/15
W no ring 7/7/15

Separate room 4/12/15
Separate living suggested 8/15
W moved out 11/1/15
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Atta boy Ghost!! Just taking the class is a huge win for you. Keep stacking wins up on your side, this is great work.

PP


M 39 W 36
T5 M3
BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day
Served 9/15
D finalized 6/17
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You act like a man. Sandi2 is very clear on this. Be decisive and be strong. Know your path. Don't let her walk all over you.

Peace my friend.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,435
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Ghost, I don't know if this applies to you, but I can tell you what makes me lose (or gain) respect.

I respect a man who can make decisions. My H doesn't make decisions. About anything, dinner, plans, will say "S needs help", or D needs discipline, but will not just make the decision. On the rare occasions he does I love it- for example "I just caught D lying. I took away her electronics for the entire weekend." Or "I just called a karate studio to get info to sign up S for karate, I think it will be good for his self esteem. I am taking him for a trial lesson next weekend." Of course this could get out of control, its not like I want to be married to a dictator, but in my sitch the problem is that he just expects me to decide and handle everything. It is nice to see my H handling day to day decisions confidently and not just deferring to me about everything (and then whining when things didn't go his way.)

Another thing H does that makes me lose respect is smoke and get drunk. Getting drunk would be fine a couple of times a year at a big event, maybe a wedding or some big thing, but not as a regular thing. There have been times (in the past) where H would not drink and be the designated driver. I always thought highly of him then.

Physical fitness. A man who takes care of himself- that I respect.

I respect a man who has hobbies and interests. Someone who does more than work and watch tv. The gym is good!

A man who can handle being around chaos- like with the kids, and stay calm and in control. I hate when guys "lose it" with the kids.

A man who has a sense of humor about himself and life, and doesn't give off that "pity party", and everything is so serious vibe.

A man who can dance the cha cha.....well that goes without saying- that I respect!

Keep it up Ghost!



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Ok so starting to think about the future a future without my W if the is what she wants I have to move forwards

Been looking at property in the local area and I am going to really struggle to get anything locally for the amount i will get .....my W has said that we need to stay close to our area for the kids schooling I think this will be very difficult
With four children and one adult would be Lucky to get a three bed house in the same area so the 2 boys would share a room .....d1 has a room and me and the 2 year old would share a room .....to what age ? To what age can a toddler share with her dad

So do you think it would be better to either
A) buy a smaller house in locally but in the worst area but local to the children's current school
B) buy a bigger house outside the area then either commute the children to school and back again
I know children adapt but I guess what I am saying is if I move outside the area and get a bigger house with more room for them and my w moves to a smaller house but in the same area what do you think the children would look more forward to

I really am not looking forward to this but have to start thinking practically
Ghost


Me:48 W 41
M:18 T:26
2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
D filed 06/17
Separate houses 10/17
D Final 29/12//17.
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 1,917
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Rent first. Then you can gauge the lie of the land. Things might look different in six months.


M 45 W 52
SD22 S9 D8
BD 6 April 2015
Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,453
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Huddy that is good advice but I have so much stuff from a five bed house garage two sheads if I am renting where do I put it all or do I just start throwing things now and selling off items on the bay
Parenting a three bed in my area is going cost in the regen of 1300 pm plus council tax and bills I would have thought need to look into the rental i market

I have never rented I just see it as throwing money away frown


Me:48 W 41
M:18 T:26
2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
D filed 06/17
Separate houses 10/17
D Final 29/12//17.
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