V is for Vanilla 22

[Vanilla]

Hi Vanillia. Glad to hear sis is feeling safe Is she out of any danger and what's the long term view ?

I hope you are ok through this , it must be very worrying

Take care and big hugs to you and sis. xx

Thank you RD.

Yes for now glam sis is safe.

she really needs to improve her lifestyle and she is resistant. Diabetes isn't a straightforward condition. In the past when she comes to stay then she says "V, you have no food I can eat".

What she means is my cupboards, freezer and fridge are full of ingredients. Fruits, veggies and unprocessed stuff. I find if I but junk, I eat junk, so its very rare. I always cook from scratch, every day.

Glam sis, wont be persuaded, she loves cakes, biscuits, TV dinners, white bread, white pasta, chips and cheese.

I have to say cheeeeeeeese is my downfall in life, so I really limit myself. I aim that 25% of my food is raw veg and a further 25% either cooked or raw veg. The other half of my diet is raw juices, some carbs, nuts and a little fish. I now restrict meat to once a week.

I like veg soup and love houmous and wholemeal pitta bread.

My health is gradually improving and my bloods are getting normalised. My long term sugar marker has dropped remarkably on this low fructose diet.

So all in all good.

I am still following the regime for exercise and soon once I am off the trial then I can up the exercise.

I confess to feeling very tired.

So a new campaign for V, yet another upgrade coming.

V

[gonegrl]

V, I am so glad you are doing well, and your sister too. You are awesome, V!

[Sotto]

Hi V, glad to hear you are doing okay and Glam Sis too. Another upgrade??! I'm not sure if it will be possible to make any further improvements...V mk12 is looking pretty good to me xx

[WhyUs]

V,

That is great. Diabetes is a struggle and as you have seen, something that requires a great commitment. Your doing an awesome job!

[Vanilla]

I am struggling, the Fins are awful.

So are the Swedish, but what's that got to do with it? :-)

Now then.....

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My sleep is disrupted and I struggle every day as more and more crap from WH piles up and up. Saw L yesterday, she wants to go on the offensive and to offset the increase in WH pension scheme against my settlement.

I just want this over, done finished.

The deception, lies and out and out manipulation is becoming very clear.

I feel so stupid not to have seen it.

You are being unnecessarily tough on yourself and if you saw someone doing that what would you say to them?

I would probably say, evaluate the truth in it and make a plan, instead of just sitting with your head up your jacksie, complaining. Plus - life is very short, why waste more time thinking about a waster? Go enjoy life.

So here it is:

Plan for turnaround in Fins

What is causing the issue? I work hard and yes I GAL too. PMA is positive but in these mornings, I wake at 7 and sit and veg out until nearly 10 because I feel so overwhelmed. Once up and 'at it' I am ok. Its the getting to it which is an issue. Sleep is possible but not restful.

Whenever I tackle the books I see the damage WH has done and I fall into a funk about it. These are triggers for me, spending cash on himself when the bills remain unpaid.

If I can just suck it up and get it done then I can file the paperwork and invoices and I will never have to look at it again unless HMRC asks a question. At least I wont have to post items from bank statements arising from WH period anymore.

It is the reconciliations that are needed.

One of my problems is WH moved money around the accounts without really leaving a proper paper trail. It takes hours to track a transaction around. The current paperwork is fine as I do that myself, it isn't in a good enough state to delegate any of it. There are now paying in books with copies of transfers, nothing is missing. Accounts are named properly and transfers done properly.If I have to transfer say 1000, one of the tricks is to make the transfer an odd sum so transfer 1010.28 for 1000 transferred on 28 October. Each transfer is unique and trackable. Makes life easier!

WH worked from spreadsheets which are non functional, without dates and descriptions. He kept accusing me of not having accounting systems, untrue, we have been using the same accounting package since 2003 and it is on virtual servers. He just preferred his spreadsheets which have almost no value. they are unusable and the information is incomplete. All transfers are called transfers, duh! Its like saving letters in word with the title 'letter', doesn't say who to, what for, when, where or why. I am never opening his spreadsheets again, they confuse me very much and putting them right will take too much effort, so I have started again, from scratch. This means 18 months of reposting and reconciling. i am almost there. I need to push it home.

Every drawer, cupboard and zipper file I opened had invoices in it. Some going back up to two years. Unsorted, duplicates and a big mess. This I sorted, so with the very odd exception its now only current stuff which is filed about once every two weeks. this will now be done on a Friday. Every Friday.

I need changes for me.

Those changes need to be now and need to be fast. The Fins (really Avanti!), I think its because I get it 80% done and then never finish my own Fins. So here is what I am going to do, every weekend from Thursday afternoon until Monday morning I will work on my Fins and nothing else until everything is cleared. Only Saturday night GAL. A member of staff is coming in to help me on Sunday- at home. Every spare minute will be spent on my Fins not client work. Its not in that bad a shape. Its just posting of accounts to be done.


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The iPad is annoying. It's not the end of the world, you seem to be very unlucky as I've not had any issues with them. When IT goes mad it's usually because you filled up the storage, is the iPad quite full?

Sadly no, there is loads of space. It's the wifi and bluetooth not working I think.

Part of the problem is that WH 'wiped' all the info from 2 ipads and 2 iphones, quite deliberately in my view. I just don't know what is coming next!!!!

I use iexplorer to clear it to my laptop. I now have a 'cheapie' Samsung and with my chromecast I should be able to do lots of projecting to my Samsung TVs. I love technology and could loose my self for hours in it.

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Your very very very very exceedingly WH and his shenanigans is all part of the package and you are taking it personally, what would you say to someone who asked you what they do, if they were in your position?

I would say 'yes, I get it' and 'nothing you can do'.

Sadly abuse isnt like that, I get flashbacks and trauma hitting me, and I will recover, I am learning as many recovery techniques as I possibly can. I will pay it forward here. I have been on this board a year and I have learned as much in one year as I have learned in the whole of my life. I also have learned to express myself a little, my early posts here were in accounts style and slightly precise. I have learned that I have an on line personality and a way of expressing which has spilled over into my ordinary life.

I decided last week to visit the supermarket where I last had my major breakdown- this was after reviewing this on the board. I thought it was time I faced my distress and tackled it head on. I even bought apple juice, which I gave away. It took a lot out of me and set me back for a couple of days. On Tuesday I will go again and I will keep on doing it until I am free of the fear. I am developing some techniques which I will share. I think they will be very useful.

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Time to turn that V. Incisiveness inwards, you know the answers are there, hopefully we can help you to gain access to them.

Yes, I know. I need action not activity!

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For what it's worth, I think your glam sis's situation is weighing you down as all the information you have on her is verbal. Isn't it time to go and see her, for you and for her?

Yes, you are right although we face time. Glam sis is very overweight (UK size 16, US size 14) at the moment and it concerns me. I have arranged that she is coming down with favourite cousin to the Brighton flat soon where we do girlie. She wants to do Xmas shopping in the Brighton Laines (which are amazing by the way).

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Thank you for you post, I see Avanti, you are doing a V probe on V!!!

Tons of hugs

V

[Vanilla]

Morning Vanillia. How goes it today. Would love a quick post just to check your ok !!

My darling RD, yes I am ok.

I am disappointed I concerned you that wasn't my intention. I went into a funk on Monday as the Brighton flat had an attempted break in and quite a lot of damage done.

The 'Toerags', got a ladder from a garage which had been left open and climbed onto the first floor balcony in full daylight! They tried to prise open the balcony door from the hinge side???????? Duh!!!!!!

They were spotted by a neighbour opposite who took a video of them, running away and rang the police.

Do these count as the dumbest criminals on record?

The door is k nacked and as it needed replacing then its not a problem. I will just do it earlier. It should last the winter.

Just another distraction.....

On the plus side, I went with my orange wed pal, last night to see The Intern and had a blast, it was her birthday so I bought her a meal afterwards.

It gave me a couple of ideas for resources for my business. I like the idea of senior interns. I am giving it much thought.

Tons of love brother

V

[Vanilla]

V,

I think of you often. The last few weeks have been awful for me as well. Some people think the Lunar Eclipse along with the blood moon has been affecting emotions. Speaking from experience, my son has always been agitated during full moons. I have been downright depressed, but just today started to see the light at the end of a very long tunnel.

Things will get better!!

*hugs*

I will visit your thread. I think of you often Diana and see how brave you are with overcoming your health issues.

V

[Vanilla]

V. You have a lot going on right now, and you have handled it all amazingly. I we could all have even 1/2 of your stupid the world would be a much more intelligent place.

So now for the tough love--stop beating yourself up. You are letting him continue to victimize you by those negative thoughts. It's time to focus only on what can be done right now--the past is only useful in the fact that you are able to let it go and move forward. Dwelling on it will only make you depressed. The future is only useful in that you know it is wide open unknown where the best is yet to come. Worrying about it will only make you anxious.

Right now, things aren't great, but you can still embrace what is. You are free from a destructive man. Go see your sister--give her a hug and be each others support. And the fins--oh the bane of all of our lives--the good news is that through awareness there is hope. Do what you can, give the rest to God. He is really good at handling the [censored] we can't seem to get ourselves out of. Pray (I'm praying there with you sister), breathe, and live. That is all you need to do for today.

One day at a time.

Msd, you are one of the most courageous women I know, truly inspiring. The way you worked your way through that last term of school. When you were going through your own personal hell, you just kept going.

V

[Vanilla]

V,

That is great. Diabetes is a struggle and as you have seen, something that requires a great commitment. Your doing an awesome job!

WhyUs, thank you for your support. I am aware I owe you some great appreciation on our other thread and I will carry on with the business ideas.

I came up with another thought which I will work through and post on our Fins thread. I will also post my business plan for the next 10 years.

V

[Vanilla]

Mmmmm nilla, hope your WH, caught his pants on fire today!

I do love having GG around, you cheer me up, make me smile and you view on life is so fresh and like rain to my parched soul. BTW I threw away the old extinquisher.......

Sotto, thank you for your support as always I consider myself a work in progress.

Photo, all I can say is ditto, what amazing progress you have made in such a short time. I have been DB for 18 months and feel like a mere beginner.

I haven't thanked all of those who showed concern for glam sis for which I apologise. I promise I will keep you all updated.

My non molestation order has gone to the court and my L will ask for an undertaking from WH, that he won't move back in to the Big House.

I promise a thread party soon........

Next big step is my 2 year wedding anniversary on the 12th of October. I plan to have the backlog admin on the Fins done by then.

Time for a new thread.

V