I've been so busy with life lately, I haven't dropped by lately and I feel like I've missed so much going on! Not much changes in my life. The kids have decided to help me volunteer with my feeding the homeless every Thanksgiving, even on X's years, and he does the Turkey Trot at the same time anyway, but says the kids will just have Thanksgiving with me forever then.
I had Christmas Eve with the kids and then X has them until later this week. My govt job has gotten really crazy and overworked-I'm working an extra 8 hours free every week and still can't keep up. One of my best friends at work is going to get fired (our supervisor told her) and she works 10 extra hours a week. I asked to take off Christmas Eve to spend the day with my kids since I didn't have them after that and my boss gave me a hard time-telling me administration is watching me and am I sure I want to take Christmas Eve off work. I work extra all the time, have months of leave saved, had one day to spend Christmas with my kids!!! I feel like I'm working for Scrooge. It's good though I've been applying to dozens of jobs the last couple of weeks, all that I can find that aren't a major pay cut. Then I spent Christmas with friends so that was fine.
Something weird happened with X. We have been peaceful. Not talking to each other in months which is good. I dropped off with the kids yesterday my son's Bible he forgot and a craft kit I had bought my daughter she wants to make for X's birthday in 2 days. After I dropped it off there I got gas and then went to the grocery store by my house. X parked near me and went in there just as I got there and left the store as I left the store. Which is weird because my son told me they were grocery shopping when he called me about his Bible, and the store we were at in case he wanted to go to that one is 15 minutes from his house and there is one 2 minutes from his house. Isn't that the weirdest thing????
They're always going to be weird Karen... If I could tell you what Carrie has done, craziness. Showed up on my doorstep crying when her dad passed away, thinking big guy would be willing to comfort her in her loss. Crazy...... I hope you are doing well.
I am sorry that work is so crazy for you. My two jobs is taking some used to, so I hear ya! I think your ex will always be crazy when it comes to you. Remember that when they don't feel anything, that is when you would have worried. He can't justify loving you so he just acts wacko and sometimes mean towards you.
Have you been dating? I haven't. Still trying to just get an even keel and then my world still rocks the boat. I was so happy to get S19 through school and thought I could finally relax a bit. Then in August we got the baby bomb. She is due on the 9th now so really any day.
How can I not be anywhere near ready to go back to work on Wednesday? Still not liking my job so much but it serves it's purpose. we need to talk!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
My job kept getting worse, everyone has left or has resumes out. I was able to get a promotion to another job which I started about 3 weeks ago. So far so good. I'm doing all things I've never done before: editing, desk-top publishing, purchasing, and QA. So I could use the new skills to get other jobs, but really loving a lower-stress job where people are awesome. Everyone in the office has been there 10-38 years and they stay until they retire and sometimes even come back after they retire. So I think that's a good sign it's a good office.
Still getting along fine with X. He has a new private attorney job apparently making big $$$ he started a month ago and was traveling extensively before then, so I've been having the kids much of the time the last couple months. It's wonderful that I have them much of the time, but they are expensive...Supposedly we have joint custody, but it hasn't worked out that way...S21 is finishing up community college and S15 is doing well in high school. She wants to join the math club for fun so hard to believe she is my daughter!
X told my daughter that OW was his mid-life crisis so apparently it took him a while to figure that out...They are still engaged, but D15 says they used to be together all the time when he had the kids, and now he spends time with her mostly when he doesn't have the kids so I'm happy to hear that.
Still not dating. I joined a new Presbyterian church, and 99% of the men are married or over 80. And that's where I spend most of my spare time...I need to figure out a hobby where there are single men under the age of 80.
I have really missed you. Can you believe how long it has been that we have been on here? I hardly ever hear from Peter but his little girl is adorable and Lodo has a girlfriend so he has sort of dropped off the map.
I am glad you have made a change to work for you. I am in the midst of doing that too, but it isn't always so easy to do in practice.
Maybe your ex isn't so much in a fog now? Not that it really matters I guess. Mine is still about the same in regards to her, but we can talk and get along which is good for the kids and me too as I don't carry around a bunch of anger.
Let's catch up soon.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
.I need to figure out a hobby where there are single men under the age of 80.
Cross country skiing - well, that won't work in Florida, but if you ever travel to the mountains - the ratios are definitely in your favor and the men are HOT!
Starbucks near a business park - I see tons of businessmen in the Starbucks that I go to.
Online dating - I know it's not for everybody, but it sure worked for me! Tall dark and handsome boyfriend and I would never have met otherwise.
D15 has been having nightmares lately; she's been having problems with OW. OW who used to suck up to her and tell her how great she was has been uber critical of her recently. She gave me examples: D15's learning to drive and almost got into an accident and was complaining about driving and OW was apparently being critical of her complaining and kept going on and on about how D15 shouldn't complain.
D15 is also autism spectrum. She in high school now, and is attending her church youth group weekly and joined Spanish and math club, and she is going to try out for the mock trial club. She has a few good friends she hangs out with. She was at a park with X and OW and apparently ran into a girl from school she'd had a class with, and couldn't remember her name and asked her what her name was again and that really upset OW. OW went on and on criticizing D15 about her social skills. I think D15 is amazing and has improved her social skills every year!!! My d said she was almost in tears pretty much the whole day but wouldn't let OW have the satisfaction of seeing them. The ironic part is my daughter is sweet and kind, honor roll student, does lots of volunteer work, and OW's daughter is an alcoholic drug addict who has recently been in rehab. So....meanwhile per my D, X was there and said nothing to defend my daughter in these situations...
The thing that makes it worse is that D15 feels she can't say anything to OW or X. For example, if she tells X how she feels about OW he will no longer love her or whatever and will choose OW over her. She has always been astute.
I told her she at least needs to say something innocuous like "Everyone complains sometimes" so that she doesn't feel like she is completely voiceless or she'll continue to have the nightmares.
It's killing me to stay out of this one, but since she's turning 16 next month I'm thinking she's old enough to deal with this on her own??? Divorce [censored] sometimes....
She was at a park with X and OW and apparently ran into a girl from school she'd had a class with, and couldn't remember her name and asked her what her name was again and that really upset OW. OW went on and on criticizing D15 about her social skills.
Actually, I think this shows incredibly GOOD social skills on your daughter's part - how many of us are afraid to just fess up and tell someone we forgot their name?
You might try working with your daughter to come up with some good all-purpose comebacks for OW - she can write them up on an index card and stick them in her pocket for reference.
OW may be especially touchy right now BECAUSE her daughter's been in rehab. She may be extra worried about what will happen to both girls. Or she may be having problems in her relationship with ex and it's leaking out in this way.
