Continue walking daily for no less than 2 miles a day.
You truly are in an awesome place Ancaire, your mindset is spot on and almost vet like.
You've put down two great goals, what's your third?
How about setting a timescale for when you will have a job? What about stating a purpose for the walks?
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
Great job Judy! I just started juicing, if you want to do that "with" me. I am choking down my first juice now. Hope you have a great Saturday and you do something positive for yourself.
Juicing...oh, my. Only when I can afford a Vita-Mix. I tried it with my Ninja and created warm sludge. Ick!
On a more somber note, things went backwards while I was gone this week. H was sleeping in our bed while I was away, but set up an air mattress in his office when I returned.
He will not look at me when we're talking...No eye contact at all. Suspicions are alerted on my end.
Today is Saturday. He told me he had a meeting with customers to go over changes in his company. This is a first. He left wearing shorts for this business meeting.
Perhaps not so coincidentally, OW owns a Farmer's Market. According to ads, they are having a HUGE estate/garage sale this weekend. I want so badly to go by there and catch him, but what would I gain? I already knew he couldn't be trusted, so I'd be setting up a bunch of very non-helpful drama.
This is uncomfortable, not unbearable. I'm going to sit back and let him really mess up. I was telling another DB'er that we often rush in to save people we love...but they never learn anything that way. He will never appreciate me the way I need to be appreciated until he learns what he's losing.
So, gritting my teeth and keeping the status quo.
It hits me...I AM becoming the anchor. How exciting!!!
Oh judy I want to be anchor. I messed up last night and v helped me a lot. I read your emotional flooding thread. I really need to work on lashing out at him. Wow I'm learning so many things I need to work on. I took her advice and a policed and he said he would try too... changes? Did I do ok?
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
Yes, you did! An apology goes a long way towards mental health, too. If you know you did something wrong, learn from it, apologize, and move on.
Apologies are rough...but they contribute towards creating a stronger you.
I'm so proud of you! I was such a mess when I got here. I'm kind of amazed where I am now...but I was determined to not let this destroy me. My motto is that I'm not going through all this pain without getting something out of it! In my case, a journey of self-discovery towards a better me.
O, I messed up a bit last night too, H left the bed in the middle of the night and moved to the couch. With his phone. After a couple of hours (I couldn't go back to sleep) I snuck up on him to see if he was texting. He wasn't. I gave him a bit of an attitude, and then apologized. I am angry with myself. But I am human. I don't trust spouse's sleeping on the sofa with their phones. My anxiety is high today.
I need to be the anchor Judy! I was doing so well but had a big backslide this week.
I keep messing up, too. No one said this was easy. To be honest, I would have checked to see what H was up to, as well.
I just found out that H and kids are all out together. My suspicions were correct, but the reason was wrong. I find I'm incredibly hurt by this for some reason. The kids have always been close to their dad, but he's the one who screwed it all up...not me.
Taking deep breaths and attempting to see something good in this. So far, I'm not very successful.
