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#2611687 10/02/15 03:44 AM
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mleigh4 Offline OP
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Time for a new thread. After 2 years, I still can't get my tablet to copy and paste my old threads! Yes, I am technology challenged.

One of these days, I will have to go back and read my old threads. I am scared to go back to the beginning though, It was such a painful time and I have come so far, I hesitate to revisit that.

I have been struggling a bit lately, I am still having this desire to "check in" with H on where he is at. Maybe I can get some feedback or insight here, or maybe it will help to just write it out. I am hoping for some clarity on this.

H moved out 8 months ago. Our last R talk was a month before he moved out. We have not had 1 single conversation about us, our marriage, our feelings, or our situation. We have been living separate lives, with an occasional family reunion time here and there. When we are together, no R subject comes up, no talk about feelings, nothing but chit chat that I would have with any other person. There is an unspoken connection between us but nothing verbal or physical.

This is getting old to me. It's like a huge elephant in the room being ignored, like we are living in a state of complete denial.

My confusion within is that, if I DID bring up or request an R discussion, the truth is that I myself am in a very confused state. I love and miss my old H, but can do without the H of today.

However, the truth inside me is, if I knew H was waking up, missing home, rethinking his recent choices to leave, I would continue on giving him his space and time. If, however, he said he still feels this will never work and nothing has changed....hmmmm...would I be done? I was going to write I would, but hesitate to do so...

I know many of you would tell me this should not be about what H feels or wants but what I feel and want. I get that, but the truth is, it would be so much easier to walk away if I knew that was what he wanted. If he is still unsure....

I just want to know SOMETHING. I need something from him. This silence and avoidance seems wrong to me.

So my next thought, do I go by words, or actions. So many posters have these talking spouses that tell them they are done, but can't stay away. So, do words really matter? Should I push hearing something or just go by H actions.

Actions...he enjoys spending time with S and I about once a month. He wants to be a part of home improvement decisions.
He sends his 1/2 of mortgage on time every month.
He got jealous of possible (but false) fling
He cares about my safety, got me pepper spray for my walks
Wants to spend birthdays and holidays together
Flips from good contact to no contact
Talks about his place in long term ways
Continues to take personal items here and there, but getting to be less
Asked to go on vacation with S and I last July
Wants me to print Calendar pages for his fridge (my thought was how many months more!!??)
Friendly but can turn to instant anger
No physical affection in 2 years

I feel many mixed messages from H, and it wears on me at times.

Holidays are coming up, and I am going back and forth between spending them together, which I think he will request, or spending them separate. We can do the fake family time with the elephant in the room, or I can set the boundary of no cake eating. Basically, it seems H gets his family fix when he wants, then goes back to his bachelor world. But is having a separate holiday fair to S?

Cake eating...or H just working through things...that is my biggest struggle right there. I am not sure which he is doing. Or is he just keeping the waters calm to avoid the reality of dealing with divorce...

I had a thought today. I have 2 months until Thanksgiving. When Holiday plans come up, I can tell H the truth, that I am not sure if we should spend them together, that I would love to know how he is feeling...that I am feeling confused about his 8 months of silence...that I am wondering what he thinks...that I have become pretty confused myself....this could get me some answers.

I just feel we should be communicating more. I don't see any end to this with no communication.

Feels good to get that out of my head, it's been spinning around for weeks. I will continue to pray for some clarity, this has helped in past situations. Any feedback is welcome too!


Me 48 H 46 S 11
M 2004
BD 8/13
H moved out 2/15
-live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
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You've been handling the situation quite well...but I think there have been times when you have been too readily available to him. He can't miss you or what you had if you are there for him. He's got it made in the sense that he's got his place and yet, he can do all sorts of family stuff when he wants to w/you and your son. Maybe it's time to pull back just a bit and leave him be.

As for the holidays, they are coming up fast. Maybe you need to think about doing something different, i.e., not having him be a part of them for a change. Plan your Thanksgiving around you and your son and w/Christmas, plan to have your h come over later in the day or if he comes for gift opening, don't invite him to dinner. It's time to shake things up just a bit.

I think you are getting a bit frustrated about the way things have been going and sometimes, when something doesn't work, you need to try something different. I do not think you'll get a straight answer from your h if you were to ask him about where he's at right now w/the relationship. You may not get the answer that you want to hear, i.e., for example, "I don't know, I like things the way they are, etc.".

Continue to focus on you and your son and plan to do things w/your son. It's okay to invite him once in a blue moon to participate in these activities w/you and your son...but he's not going to miss you or the relationship as long as he continues to be involved in a large majority of the activities.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Thank you Job for bringing my old thread over.

I have been slowly pulling back, but still allowing H in as he pleases. Yes, time for a change.

When I moved back home, there were big blow ups and threats of divorce. By the time H moved out 8 months later, divorce was no longer mentioned, and the discussions had changed to him just needing some time and space to figure himself out. He was hoping to miss us and home, he needed to be on his own.

I had agreed and supported him on that decision. So I worry, is it like a punishment to take away family time from him, and holidays? That confuses me. I really go back and forth with that a lot. I have been telling myself to give his move out a full year, then go from there. IDK,

I think when the holiday plans come up, first I will see what plans are in his mind. If it is to be together, I will take that time to express where I am at, because I matter too. It would be something like....

"I truly enjoy spending holidays together, but I am having a hard time doing that when in reality we are living separate lives. It's almost like we are in denial and not facing what is happening to us over time, and that is not working well for me. I still believe in us and respect you need your space, but I also have needs and a big one is for our son and I to live and love as a full family. Not a part time family. I want us to experience that and can't settle for less. Our lack of communication about our situation is wearing on me, and time spent together is followed by sadness and confusion for me."

Something to that effect. All true and deep in my heart. I feel this is another step in doing everything I can. No ultimatums, no pressure other than my need for some communication. Based on what he says, I believe I will know what feels right and will go from there.

I have 2 months to sit and ponder all that, not even going to think about Christmas yet. If we do decide to do Thanksgiving separate, I plan a big breakfast with S, he can do his regular Thursday night with dad, then I will prepare a Thanksgiving feast for S and I on Friday. Sounds wonderful! and very fair to me.

This weekend, S goes with H. I am going to go set up an appt for the carpet and get that done! I have some more cleaning to do and some serious packing and moving of things in the rooms to prepare for the carpet. I want to go to party store and start getting prepared for our Fall/Halloween party. And get some downtime in there too somewhere!

Happy Friday, I hope you all have a great weekend smile

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Hi Mleigh

You have so much going on and I can really appreciate and identify with the "limbo" you are feeling right now.

MO (as I am not in a position to give advice like job!) is to stay away from asking your h what he is feeling or what he is thinking. Why - because he has no clue himself; if I have learnt anything over the past few months talking to my h then its that. He admits to a mass of confusing and conflicting thoughts running through his head, none the same and never staying long (his words). If you ask your h where he is at right now, you will get the answer of where he is on that day and that time - it could be bad, it could be good, but be aware that those thoughts could change by the next day - so he could want you back in his life as a whole relationship today but tomorrow he will feel differently and vice versa, a MLC'er is not in control of any of this, it is currently in control of them. Until they recognize that this is the case then they wont begin to do the hard work it takes to calm the head and make sense of all the thoughts.

So on the back of that, you are the one who needs to make the decisions about what you want because your h is not able to right now. Atm you are giving your h two lives, you have made it easy for him to do it and that's ok if you are happy with this, but I sense that you are not, so you need to decide what to do about it. By removing yourself from his life you will regain the power that currently he has over you. He will get upset and stamp his feet, he is used to getting his own way, but ultimately this is your life and you should be one to decide what happens in it.

I would make my plans for Halloween, T/giving and Christmas, don't include him other than his time with s - which he can do at his house - and start to show him that you are more than capable of living on your own. By showing him that you are accepting of the situation and moving onward without him it will give him something to think about. This does not mean you have to give up on a r with your h, it just means you are playing the MLC game. If he comes to the point where he realizes you are who he wants then he will let you know. He will find a way.

Mleigh - I follow your threads and you inspire me to keep going onward in my own journey. You are doing so amazingly well with all of this and I wish you nothing less than finding the happiness you so deserve. This is such a hard journey that you go on, its one that you did not choose to take, you were forced into it, so seeing it as that, you are doing fantastic.

Keep going my friend, make good decsions for yourself and your s - ((hugs)) to you.

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Hi Mleigh- I completely understand the balancing act you are doing. You're trying to keep the door open but not make it too comfy for H to toggle between 2 ideal worlds: having family and alone time all on his terms. Yet, best chance of him coming out of MLC is for you to give him his space to grow up. And of course, you are trying to stand and make yourself as happy as possible throughout. Tough balancing act all around.

I totally agree that whatever he says is just a snapshot of that exact moment. So unless his actions follow what he says the words will mean nothing. One thing I would be prepared for is that by intitiating R talk you may catch him at a moment where much of what he says is very hard to forget. Although intellectually we know they don't mean it, once they say certain things they don't mean/will forget the moment they leave their lips, LBS is left feeling like she went through a paper shredder.

Remember, he currently is not in his right mind so expectations are particularly dangerous.

You are doing so well balancing all your variables!


Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced
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Hi Mleigh, it sounds as though you have had some sage advice already. I do understand where you are coming from and holidays tend to bring everything into sharper focus too - both for us and the MLCer I think. I agree that if you initiate that kind of convo with your H - telling him how you feel about things - it may not go well.

I agree that the answer you may get would be based on 'how I feel right now' and not reflective of the overall picture. And those answers as HaWho said, can lead to a paper shredder moment that is not easily erased.

Much better I think is to act 'as if' you were no longer together and make fun and nourishing plans for you and your S, with family and friends. Of course time with his Dad would be included in them, but 'family' time doesn't need to be. And if your H expresses concern about that, you can consider whether you are willing to build in a 'family' event, given all circumstances.

In my life now, I tend to initiate lots of stuff - but all the initiation is to do with my own life. I have pretty much stopped initiating anything in respect of H. I just leave him to it. With him, I only respond. He raises a request, I respond. His L emails mine, I respond. He texts me, I respond. Nothing is initiated by me.

Anyway, I hope this helps and good luck with whatever you decide. I think you are doing so well with your situation and I'm sure you'll have a great holiday season whatever you do decide.

xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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LouR, Hawho, Sotto.....thank you so much for your kind words and opinions. It's exactly what I wanted and NEEDED to hear.

I have been praying for guidance these last few days. I am new to praying, I never really was in touch with that spirituality until I hit my rock bottom with my sitch last year and had an amazing experience that brought me a peace and calm I will never forget. Since then, my prayers for guidance have always been answered. It's amazing, how once you are able to stop all the noise in your head, and just listen, all the answers are there. Between your advice, reading an old thread and what happened today, I have my answer.

BTW, the post I ran across was by Reaching Higher, dated 12/28/12. She posted a quote from, I think Happy Days?, that explained how his wife dealt with his MLC and how doing that helped to bring him back. I felt I was literally reading so much about myself and how I have been handling my H, and I realized I need to just keep on this road. Please look it up and read it. Very inspiring!!

I think the best thing to do is keep living and planning around S and I. H is either there or he isn't. It doesn't matter, we must keep moving forward. For 8 months I have been a friend to him, have kept my mouth shut about R, and have given him his space. With no sign of OW, with him somewhat progressing closer....why would I want to muddy up that path? I am happy, aside from my marriage....S and I are thriving...aside from my impatience, there really is no reason for me to mess this up. If he was to continue moving closer as he has, I can continue to know this is his own doing. With no pressure or threats made by me. That would be the ONLY way I would want it. I am digging and digging, patience shovel in hand.

Today S decided he wanted to go to a tarantula festival at a nearby state park with his buddy. Knowing it was H day with S, I TM him last night to let him know, to make sure he did not have other plans, and to ask if he wanted to take him, or I could and then drop him off after. Never got any response.

This morning S and I got ready and planned on meeting with his buddies and mom. Still no word from H. About an hour and a half before meet up time, I TM him again asking if he got my message and adding that I didn't want to intrude on his day with S, but really wanted to check this tarantula thing out. He replied and apologized, said he did not see message, that it was no problem and asked what time we were going.

I told him noon, that we were all driving together in my truck, if he wanted, I could stop by on way, drop off dog and if he wanted to come there was room. (Again, I only offered because it is HIS day with S)

He said he was going to Costco, that he would pick up dog. Asked me if I needed anything.

I was confused, so I asked him, does that mean you want me to drop off S after?

He replied maybe he could meet us after Costco, then asked if I was going to be there.

That really threw me off. SPIN CYCLE RED ALERT!!!

So I kindly replied, yes I would be there.

He asked what time we were going.

I AGAIN told him noon.

He asked if he could call when he was ready to meet us there. I said sure.

As soon as we got there, he TM asking how long we would be there. I told him we just got there, and had no idea. An hour and a half later, as we were leaving, he TM saying he could head there. I told him we were leaving and asked if I should head over to drop off S. He said he never picked up dog and would meet us at my house.

He was here when we got home, came down to the garage. I asked what I owed him for the chicken from Costco, he said shoot, I forgot it at home, will give you tomorrow.

We talked about the tarantula festival, we saw 2 when apparently they are rare to see running around. I told him he missed out, was fun. He went on to talk about how he is still trying to fix his phone, fighting with Verizon to upgrade early, made me think that may have been what he was doing today.

Let's see....phone.....son....phone....son....Costco......MLC alright!

As they were getting in H truck, I handed H the birthday gift for the birthday party S had the next day. H looked at me shocked and confused and said, I am taking him?? I said it's at 1, normally you still have him at that time. He said, but you know them better, you should go, I don't want to. I told him, you only need to drop him off, I will pick him up.

Anyway, H was quite the hot mess today and yes, was another sign to me that trying to have a rational conversation about what is happening between us would be a complete waste of time. I think I got plenty of guidance on this one! smile





Me 48 H 46 S 11
M 2004
BD 8/13
H moved out 2/15
-live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
Joined: Jan 2014
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Here is the post

Originally Posted By: Happy_Again


There is so much i want to say but have no idea where to begin.so things might be a little out of order but i will try to keep things into perspective. so much of what happened to me and the things that went on in my head i have yet to understand. it just seemed that i started feeling very dissatisfied with my life.so much responsibility to care for the wife and kids and mortgages and my company.i wanted some time just for myself without feeling pressured.
when my dad died it was almost like something clicked in my head that i needed to act NOW. life was too short and this was going to have to be my time or else I was going to die young just like my dad without ever having done anything with my life.Allie is so sensible and she began to annoy me. the things she said would grate on my nerves.for some stupid reason she did make sense but this was not the time for making sense or for logic.
i bought a condo without her knowing so I could have a place to go and be alone.i needed my space without her frills and flowers everywhere.i began to go there to do my work but also began to sleep over at times.i never had a PA.
i went to classmates.com and found some old high school friends. i also found my ex girlfriend from high school.we began emailing and then im-ing.it was all so superficial and so so so stupid.at first it was like we were back in high school catching up and talking about our mutual friends. then she began getting more personal and i trusted her.
she was going through the same dissatisfaction in her life with her husband.we fed off of each others misery. and each time i would be at home i began to feel the need to get out as fast as i could.only my friend understood what i was going through. Allie was too preoccupied with the kids and the house to notice how miserable I was.or so i thought.
looking back at everything i never gave Allie a chance to understand.i just assumed she wouldn't.like i said my wife is so sensible and predictable.she is a good woman and i don;t think i wanted her to tell me that i was being foolish or what i was doing was wrong. i made a huge mess of things by turning everything around in my head and i began blaming Allie for everything wrong in my life.
i began to get nasty with her.find excuses to yell at the poor woman.every time my friend would piss me off I took it out on my wife. i couldn't let my friend know the [censored] in my head after all she thought i was a really nice guy and couldn't understand why Allie didn;t appreciate me or take the time to understand me. i lied and i can see how much worse i made things by making up excuses to call my friend just to have someone to talk to.my biggest regret is that I refused to let Allie into my life i didn;t want her to rearrange it but i did want her to understand it.
I am writing as the thoughts come into my head.i wish the wives would understand that we do not need their help to get fixed.we have to do it ourselves.i already have a mom i don't need another i needed a wife and a friend.if they could only understand that for me i needed to know that Allie was still there but i needed this time to clear my head. if i wanted her to know something i would tell her and the snooping business has to definitely stop. i will never forget the time when i came home to find Allie crying and sobbing because she had snooped and found my cell phone bill.the last thing i needed was a whining woman on my back and i didn't want to have to start explaining myself and i also didn't want to see my wife so torn up.it hurt so much to see this strong woman falling apart because of me but at that time i couldn't find the strength to hold her and tell her that one day it would all be ok instead i told her that she got what she deserved for snooping.i told her to get over it to move on with her life and to leave me the hell alone.Ileft. i drove for hours.i parked my car in a local shopping area and cried. what the hell was i doing?but I couldn;t stop myself.i called my friend who validated the fact that if Alie hadn;tsnooped she wouldn't be so upset. i chose to listen to her words instead it eased my conscience.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Allie is and has always been strong maybe this is why i knew she would keep it all together.it eased my mind to know that Allie was an excellent mother and she was always good with the bills and the home so i didn't have to worry that things would fall apart. But seeing her fall apart emotionally because of me was very difficult.I had never seen that side of her before and it scared me.having a Mlc is almost like living two lives.thereis the part that wants the security of a home and a family and then there is a part that wants to be young and free and do crazy [censored] like we did in high school.but never the two shall meet, it doesn't work that way.

I moved out and bought myself a condo.i never would have been able to get my head out from my ass if i had stayed at home. i needed my own place to retreat to. the funny thing was that i was so happy to be away from my home and be on my own in my own place.each time i went back to the family home to see the kids i didn't want to leave again but i had to especially after all of the crap I had caused to my family.i couldn;t dare tell Allie that i wanted to stay a little while longer.sometimes i would go a week or more without going near the house it was so hard being torn like that. near the end of the crisis I was invited over to the house for dinner a few times and even fell asleep on the couch and stayed overnight.waking up to the sound of my kids and Allie was a wonderful way to wake up. i sold the condo last year.i still never got around to decorating the place and my family never came to see me there.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
it was all a process but very muddled up.when i started posting i think i wanted to go home but the anger was just to much to handle. it was like I had lost and she had won.Allie was praying all of the time and being nice and perfect. and she still made me so mad.she once told me that she was the best thing I would ever have and I wanted to prove her wrong, I couldnt.oh how i wanted to save face but i had protested so much about wanting a divorce and being done i couldn't get rid of the pride.Allie was right, again.i was afraid that she would throw this into my face for the rest of my life but she didn't. when it was time to actually come home there were no questions asked. i could see it in her eyes that she sometimes seemed sad but she never pushed me.i think I was gone for almost 2 years it was too long and so stupid.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I think I went about 3 months at one point but i drove by the house a few times and once parked outside the kids school to see them playing outside. you must understand that it wasn't because i didn't love my family or want them i was just so mixed up in my head that each time i went to visit them i would leave feeling so much guilt and anger at myself and the situation.i did think about them dozens of times a day.each time i was out i would see something that reminded me of them a song on the radio Allies favorite coffee or something for one of the kids.there were times when I would call home and if there was a tone in her voice I would take it as her having an attitude and I would berate her and yell at her for making me feel like [censored]. now tell me who in their right mind does that to someone they love?
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i can only tell you what worked for me. a few times Allie seemed very sincere about her concern for me.it wasn't mothering but a gentle touch on my arm and she would look into my eyes and say that she was there for me if i ever needed to talk.nothing else. but she did not seem needy or desperate.she never lied to me and instead of playing games or trying to pretend like she was off on some mysterious date or something she would tell me that it was sometimes very hard to be around me and she was going out for a couple of hours so i could be with the children.she didn't make me feel guilty but it made me realize how much pain she was in also.i started trying to be a bit more considerate of her feelings. when her sister was sick she called me and wanted to talk to a friend. i was really taken aback because i had been less then a friend. this made a big difference to me. the very fact that she still was letting me into her world when i had shut her out of mine.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
i didn't even know what mlc was until my wife told me. i thought i was going insane and my life was ending. my dad died and all of a sudden i feel like i am going to die young too. i had to get out and live my life quickly. do all of the things i never got to do.Allie was just in the way. i also had EA NOT PA and she became my best friend. I did so many things like your H and i am telling you he does not want a divorce he just wants things to be better in his head. do you understand? he thinks a divorce will soothe his mind.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
each and every time i would see my family or go to the house it would tear me up inside. i would go out of my way to find fault with something, anything just to prove a point but god only knows what point i was proving because i ended up being a jackass most of the time. all of the reminders of the things i had left behind.my whole life in a house and now i had nothing.all because of the choice i made.
and for what? after a while nothing helped me and there were no words to make me feel better.maybe this was acceptance i don't know.

but back to what i was saying before i know that the things i said in anger and my madness were all lies and ways to be cruel. when Allie stopped fighting back and just listened and did not react i seemed to calm down.i began to notice that she was not fighting with me anymore. i was a total ass to her and i would test her to the limit and she stood firm. this is when i began to start having even more guilt for my actions and would sometimes go days without calling her back or answering her emails.but she never asked me questions and when i did finally call she was always happy and made me feel welcome.

there were times i called in the middle of the night just to hear her voice. she never got angry with me she was a friend. but there were also times when she was tired or busy and she would be polite but tell me that it wasn't a good time to talk. i would get angry but i respected her boundaries.there were also times if i was spewing my [censored] that she would say Bob I cant talk when you act this way so why not call me when you have calmed down and she would hang up but never without an explanation. i know now that she would be furious but she learned how to be patient.
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the cake eating part i think refers to some fan-dangled thing you lbs think we are doing each time we reach out to you. it isn't that way. sometimes after talking to my friend i would call Allie because i felt guilty or i would come over to t he house and repair something.yes i know it was wrong but do you also understand that my heart was still at home but my head was elsewhere. i know that it may seem very wrong but many times i wanted to be home and have the comforts of home and be with my family but i wanted things to change and i needed my space i didn't want to return to the nagging and the feeling of being just a freaking paycheck and the fix it guy.i wanted a wife not a mother. i guess i had the best of both worlds but i was made to feel welcome in my house and that is what made me come home.

i hope that this might help someone understand that i really don't believe that their spouse is out to get them i think that their spouse is crying out for help and doing really irrational things because they can not find the words to express themselves.it is almost like being a caged animal and the walls are coming in all around you and you have to get away but you also know that you feel safe in the cage and once you escape you don't know what to do with yourself. you find different ways of making the pain go away and it dies for a little while and then it comes back but only worse.
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oh the woman in my life had it all set up for me she just took over and was a control freak. wanted me to move in as roomies and made plans for my life. i went along with it all because it sounded so much better then reality. i ended up being done with her after almost 2 years and got my own place.the sad thing is that i hardly was ever at my own place because it was so depressing. i never got to decorate or even unpack my boxes. and when i was there i slept watched tv or was online. the thing you ask about the bandaid is that yes she made me feel better because it was an escape. i thought i loved her but looking back no it was more of a crush type of thing. in some ways i have to say she was a good friend in the beginning trying to reconnect after so many years gave us a lot to talk about. but she really was the opposite of Allie in every way.that got boring. and the part i hated was always having to be on my best behavior


Me 48 H 46 S 11
M 2004
BD 8/13
H moved out 2/15
-live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
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Thanks so much for posting that Mleigh. Wow, that does offer some powerful insight into what is happening from the perspective of a former MLCer. That kind of information is hard to find as many guys (and women) don't post so openly about such a dark time in their lives.

Interesting in terms of how the LBS in perceived too and that 'motherly' definitely isn't the way to go. However, compassion and independence are noticed and do matter.

I would be interested to read more from that poster. Do you know if their threads are still available on the forum?

xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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