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beckyb Offline OP
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Well it's been all evening and H never contacted me with what ever he wanted to talk about. I wish he get it over with already. But I'm not as anxious as I thought I would be. Practiced the piano (I'm just learning ) and straighten up my closet tonight. I am enjoying the extra space.


Me53
H48
M 13
No children together
BDMay '15
PA June '15
H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing
Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
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Hi Becky...it's Judy. Had to change screen name just to be safe. I'm not surprised your H didn't call. For some reason, the MLCers stay confused and forgetful. I'm so pleased to hear you were not overly bothered by it. I try and remind myself often that my H is God's problem now. Nothing I've done seems to have worked...lol


Me: 48 H: 50 - Married 21 - 3-S: 29,19,19 2-D: 27,26
BD: 08/2015 - D filed & OW disc: 09/2015

"Surrender to What Is, Let Go of What Was, Have Faith in What Will Be." -S Ricotti
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beckyb Offline OP
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You right. After many years of taking care of H it's hard to let go but I have to regularly turn him over to God. I believe H is very enmeshed in sin and I know he's turned his back on God. It makes me very sad and I hope he repents some day.

I sounds like you are getting stronger in many ways. Good for you.


Me53
H48
M 13
No children together
BDMay '15
PA June '15
H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing
Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 684
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Originally Posted By: Ancaire
...Nothing I've done seems to have worked...

That's so not true. You have come along way.

DB'ing is about getting ourselves right not using "stuff" to control our S's. As a result of our actions our S's may get interested, maybe not, it doesn't matter because we will be in better places. You have come along way Ancair, if you are not sure about that take a look at your early posts and compare them with now. Some of it will have made a difference to your H, it's not necessarily clear what but it doesn't matter, you are an improved Ancaire that's the important bit.


- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow
- Consult your plan, not your feelings
- If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
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beckyb Offline OP
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In the past week I bought my first power tool (a drill) and started lessons at a Pilates studio, which I absolutely love. Just saying...


Me53
H48
M 13
No children together
BDMay '15
PA June '15
H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing
Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 630
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Avanti,

Thank you. I am aware of self fullfiing prophecies and beleive in this line of thought. I did not even think about it in my sitch. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.


Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs
EA: Started 3/2015
MC Started: 4/2015
She moved out and served 6/2015
PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015
2 young kids

"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."
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beckyb Offline OP
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For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. Psalm 100:5


Me53
H48
M 13
No children together
BDMay '15
PA June '15
H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing
Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 495
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beckyb Offline OP
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Victory. H wanted to come by and get his mail. I told him earlier in the week I would put it on the porch. I told him would be home after 7. I put the mail in a bag and set it on the front porch and went about my business. I did not watch for him. After a while he texted that he got the mail and thank you. I texted back - Ok. Have a good night. He texted back - ditto. That was it.

He seems to have forgotten about what ever he wanted to talk about on Monday.


Me53
H48
M 13
No children together
BDMay '15
PA June '15
H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing
Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 701
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Originally Posted By: beckyb
Victory. H wanted to come by and get his mail. I told him earlier in the week I would put it on the porch. I told him would be home after 7. I put the mail in a bag and set it on the front porch and went about my business. I did not watch for him. After a while he texted that he got the mail and thank you. I texted back - Ok. Have a good night. He texted back - ditto. That was it.

He seems to have forgotten about what ever he wanted to talk about on Monday.


It is always nice to have some victories. Great work!!


Me: 42 H: 40
M: 12
H moved out - 8/2015
I filed - 8/2015
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Originally Posted By: beckyb
Victory. H wanted to come by and get his mail. I told him earlier in the week I would put it on the porch. I told him would be home after 7. I put the mail in a bag and set it on the front porch and went about my business. I did not watch for him. After a while he texted that he got the mail and thank you. I texted back - Ok. Have a good night. He texted back - ditto. That was it.

He seems to have forgotten about what ever he wanted to talk about on Monday.


Beckyb, I am a bit simple, as you know, what is your victory?

Is it that you had a good exchange with him via text? Is it that he thought to initiate the text in the first place? Or do you think you got one over on him by leaving the post for him to collect from the outside of the house, while you were doing other things?

I see some baby steps of improvement here in your H's behavior, or maybe I'm being it a bit simple?


- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow
- Consult your plan, not your feelings
- If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
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