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Uphill Offline OP
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I think I already know the answer to this but want to ask anyway. The company I work for has a large holiday party every year. It is soon time to get online and register for it. When I do that I have to put down if I will be bringing a guest or not and if I am I need to put the name of my guest.

Anybody following my situation, I would prolly be out of line to ask XF to go with me? Pursuing, pressure, everything I'm not supposed to be doing... Maybe I just don't go this year? Or go alone? I think I would rather not go than go alone. Find something else to do that night because it was always a great night with XF and will most likely bring on a funk if I go without her.

Or maybe just hang the invite on my refrigerator in full view and see if she mentions anything sometime at a kid swap?

This isn't pressing but I do only have a few weeks to figure out how to handle it for sure.


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


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Originally Posted By: Uphill
I think I already know the answer to this but want to ask anyway. The company I work for has a large holiday party every year. It is soon time to get online and register for it. When I do that I have to put down if I will be bringing a guest or not and if I am I need to put the name of my guest.

Anybody following my situation, I would prolly be out of line to ask XF to go with me? Pursuing, pressure, everything I'm not supposed to be doing... Maybe I just don't go this year? Or go alone? I think I would rather not go than go alone. Find something else to do that night because it was always a great night with XF and will most likely bring on a funk if I go without her.

Or maybe just hang the invite on my refrigerator in full view and see if she mentions anything sometime at a kid swap?

This isn't pressing but I do only have a few weeks to figure out how to handle it for sure.

As much as a I hate to say it, do you really think she has any interest in going to this with you?

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Uphill Offline OP
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I know azz, just venting it here... No offense taken


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,016
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Uphill Offline OP
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And now after thinking about what I asked it was a stupid thought to begin with haha. It's just one of those things that crossed my mind and I have too much head space.


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


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Maybe hang the invite for Uphill+1 on the fridge. I definitely wouldn't ask your XF to go...


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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Uphill Offline OP
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Yeah, processing my thoughts today I guess I subliminally was hoping by the holiday season this would all be worked out. This invite just made me realize that the season is coming and it's not back to normal... Stupid rollercoaster needs an emergency exit!


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,016
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Uphill Offline OP
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Rain, rain go away,
You're playing with my mood yet another day!

Last night was pretty good, S4 and I had a nice movie and karaoke night at the house. (He did the singing, I did the backup dancing) haha

We had a blast, so I took a video of him and sent it to XF. No comments or anything attached, just the video. About an hour later she called to tell him goodnight and said she saw him dancing and singing. I must say it kinda hurt to hear that when she didn't even reply with a "thanks" or even acknowledge it to me? Detach! Detach! Detach! The little things like that just make it seem like she is so distant and cold...


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


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Hey bud. Best thing to do is do not send her that stuff. Post it on FB if you want but not to her directly. Right now she doesn't care and it's only pushing her away. She wants the freedom of being single and without a family, you are just reminding her of what she DOES not want. It is hard, I would do the same thing toy WW. It wasn't until I stopped did she start asking questions.

Detach my friend, act as though you are moving on. I like the idea of +1 on the invite as well. If she asks just shrug it off and change the subject. Let HER be the one to wonder what you are up to.


Me: 38
W: 32
S10 D6
T: 10 (02/2004)
M: 7 (12/2007)
Separation 02/2015
OM confirmed 01/2015,
D mentioned 12/2014
D finalized 9/2016
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I think there is a fine line of what to send.

We both advised for sending the photo in the paper. I gave the example of sending a picture when my oldest lost a tooth. So there are sometimes when you should spread joy as a co-parent.

But I think sending random cute/silly pictures or videos is probably not going to do anything good for you. Thats not the life she is choosing, why give her any of it?

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Uphill Offline OP
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True, I thought I was just being nice... There I go thinking again haha. I just felt like maybe that was something I could do that she would appreciate and at least show her I'm not hiding? Bad result, not happening again!


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


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