Let's All Be Like Coffee

[Azzork]

BT -
Just like you maybe shouldnt have filed while you were emotional, you shouldnt try to withdraw it while youre emotional.

As youve said, theres a ton of time until it goes through. Just let it sit for now. You can always withdraw it later.

[beckyb]

You haven't lost your mind. I sent my H a proposal settlement because I wad mad, then wished I hadn't. But I can't take it back. True to form he has not responded. It is such a roller coaster. Hang in there.

[V2pt0]

Just thought I would share a couple more success since BD that I have not mentioned yet:

1) I have broke my addiction to TV. This was my pain numbing agent that I used to escape. Before BD, I probably would watch TV between 3-5 hours a day. I had turned into a vegatable. Now I maybe watch 2-5 hours a week max. I was more interested in crap TV than my H.

2) I have been doing a much better job maintaining the house, including yard work. Not that is was really bad before, but I would get a bit lazy sometimes.

Looking forward to my first full board meeting tomorrow. Still not working on financial stuff. There is always tomorrow.

[Ancaire]

Hang in there, BT. Proud of you for the successes you've had...that's wonderful!

Way to go.

[TDball]

Am I crazy?! Please help me think this through! The more reading and learning I do, the more this whole situation is so unnecessary. If my H truly woke up and did decided he did not want D he would say so and stop it, right? I feel as though I let my self fall into the abyss of acceptance and am trying to crawl back out in a panic.

It's official. I have lost my mind.

I just wanted to say I feel the same way. I also filed, because he told me unequivocally the marriage was over, and I was tired of waiting for him to do it. But I do feel our marriage could have been repaired, and this whole thing was unnecessary.

Filing did help me stop begging for a reconciliation, so it gave me some strength in a way. Since he wanted to speak about ending our marriage in absolute terms, I have responded in kind. I can't be married to a man that speaks about our marriage that way.

[V2pt0]

Went into L office to sign a doc. My C with H came up. L said you know that studies show that it does work, right? I explained to him that there are new methods that show 70-75%. He basically said they must be lying. I don't think he needed to give me his viewpoints.

[Painter]

Sorry you are going through a rough time... but I think you would have these thoughts regardless? I can't imagine a situation where I wouldn't second-guess my decision at *some point* - but you filed for a reason, right? Can you review those reasons?

Maybe I'm a little dense, but I'm not getting what the convo with the L was about...

[V2pt0]

Yes, I need to review those reasons. I think I am just having anxiety attacks over making the right decision. Does not really matter if it is what H wants.

I had asked my L about what happens in the event I want to stop D. I explained that H and I were attending counseling. I think he thought it was marriage therapy. Anyway, he felt the need to tell me it does not work.

[Painter]

Yes, he made the decision, and he's sticking to it. You're just protecting yourself financially and legally, which you need to.

As for your L - he's right, though... Except if you have a DB-counselor...

[V2pt0]

So, seems there is no point in second discernment session. H told counselor that he is too hurt by my actions to kick him out of house and file for D. Said he was hurt seeing more D paperwork this week. I just don't undestand. H told her he had hoped to see if could live at home and see if we could work stuff out.

While having A. In our home. Someone please make me understand or make sense of this. I am feeling like I made mistake by filing and setting boundary, but I know I can't think that way.