Thanks sotto, yes I think it's really time I should distance myself. At end I'm always getting hurt. After my post. I was praying loud and crying asking for a miracle to show him who the ow really is. Then he called me and He came home and served the papers. He and ow fought and I said don't serve me out of anger he took the papers back. And left. He is so blind I can't help him anymore. She's known for messing things up and he gives her chance after chance and NOT ONCE did he give me a chance to fix me. Anyway I am fixing myself. For me.
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
My prayer would be that the sitch works for the best result for all, particularly the children. The higher power to resolve the issue for your better good.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Sweet girl...your H is broken. His actions clearly reflect that. YOU didn't break him. You can't fix him, either. You have been treated unfairly. View him with the knowledge that he is messed up. It helps with compassion, which leads to forgiveness.
As long as he is with OW, there is NOTHING you can do. Just drop the rope. Let him screw up his life. You protect yourself and your kids. Make YOU a priority. You are faithful, loyal, sweet, and extremely caring. That is a great start!
Believe me, I KNOW how much this hurts. Impossible to explain unless you've been there. But letting him go to make his own mistakes is so empowering. Focusing on yourself helps with distracting yourself from thinking about H. Both of these help you with being more positive.
You're a woman of faith. Ask Him to help you detach. I promise, it works! Just know I and many others care about you. We're here for you. You are not alone.
I love you judy. You are such a great mentor to me... I have been praying for detachment. After sottos comment I sat down and prayed that he help me heal even though it hurts so much. I need to stay away. I prayed for him too. But I can't go on like this any more. I really cant. He needs to find god and cry out to him. He knows who god is he's just lost with all the non believers. Well at the end I'm stronger and more faithful...
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
She's really awesome. I love all her advice she gives. .. don't go anywhere judy lol Well I love everyone's advice and support they show me and to everyone else. Tha k you everyone. In the end even if doesn't work out with h I know I'm stronger because of all the support I had here!!!
Last edited by overcom; 09/27/1511:27 PM.
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
Then he called me and He came home and served the papers. He and ow fought and I said don't serve me out of anger he took the papers back.
Im not sure when this was (yesterday? or last month?). Anyway, theres nothing to fear, overcom. Dont try to control him or it will only make things worse. He's confused, he's hurting. Just let him do what he's going to do. The legal stuff is the legal stuff, and it really doesnt matter much. Youre already essentially divorced, all the papers do is tell the government that.
Originally Posted By: overcom
He is so blind I can't help him anymore. She's known for messing things up and he gives her chance after chance and NOT ONCE did he give me a chance to fix me. Anyway I am fixing myself. For me.
He is giving you the chance RIGHT NOW to fix you. If you had stayed in the same marriage for another 5 years, would it have mattered? If he said, "Overcom, Im tired of you leaving your socks on the floor," Im sure you would have picked them up for a few weeks, a couple months, maybe a year, but eventually, the changes would revert. Before, you would have been doing it for him. NOW, you know, and you can do this correctly. For YOU. For your kids.
