Dealing with WW, Kids, and Divorce

[Uphill]

30lbs must be the magic number! I went from an athletic 190, down to a scrawny 160! I'm glad you are doing well buddy! I myself seem to be on about the same path as you. Getting easier, not giving up as much head space (even though it comes and goes), working on finding yourself... As weird as it feels going down this road alone, we are both growing as people. Worrying about the kids involved and number 1. If something comes of an R with the X, so be it. But if not we are better people because of the path we took!

[tkdmme]

Yea well I needed to loose some weight but not as much as I have. Things are kind of leveling off now but I went days without eating in the beginning.

[Uphill]

I also went days on nothing but energy drinks and water. To the point I felt so weak I couldn't hardly move! It went on for so long that when I did get somewhat of an appetite back, just the taste of food would make me sick. I still don't eat as good as I should, lots of junk food, but I see it as better than nothing right? I've put on about 5 lbs but no matter how much I try to gain at least some of that weight back it doesn't stick yet.

[WhyUs]

I tell people I have a great diet to lose 30lbs that requires no pills, excersise, calorie counting, or healthy food. It takes two months. It is will be the hardest thing you have ever done but it is guaranteed to work. There is only one condition, you have to get your spouse to agree.

I need an infomercial and I will be rich.

[Ancaire]

Can a girl jump in here? The Divorce diet works! I really needed to lose weight, and not being able to eat for such a long time really helped me learn smaller portions. That's really a good thing for me. The Drs are all proud at first...then greatly alarmed at my blood pressure. Not much I can do there..lol Just keep breathing - long, deep breaths.

[WhyUs]

Looks like I have several testimonials. I'm ready to take this show on the road.

[WhyUs]

It looks like I am headed towards bankruptcy. WW ran up about $30,000 in credit card debt over the last 6 months we were together in my name. The temp financial order has me paying all of it. There is no way I can keep paying for the house, cars and consumer debt while also paying child support.

Man this is frustrating. I have always had perfect credit. I've never been a day late on a payment in my life.

[Sotto]

Oh boy, that's a lot of debt. Are you jointly liable for it if she has done all of the spending in an irresponsible way? Have you talked to your L about what this means? Can any of the debt be recouped in any way....selling off some substantial items and so on?

I'm so sorry this has happened my friend ((((whyus))))

[WhyUs]

We are jointly liable since it is marital debt. The problem is that we will be under a temporary order for a while. We own a business together and the settlement of that is going to drag this divorce out for a while. My attorney said to plan on at least a year at the rate things are going right now.

We really do not have anything to sell. The house I live in would break even if I sold it. I wish she would just be responsible and help pay the debt.

In the last two months she has opened a card in her name and already ran up $8,000 in debt. Funny thing is her mother wrote an affidavit saying that she was frugal. She even said that she had a cheap wedding in order to save money. Check this out...we had a destination wedding on an Island and rented out two houses. lol Cheap by their standards I guess. Her family lives in La La Land when it comes to money.

They also do not have a problem with not paying their debts. She had five accounts in collections when we married her. That was a shock to say the least. I paid off all of them. That should have been a sign of things to come. I just always wrote it off as her being absent minded instead of irresponsible or unethical.

[WhyUs]

Major Shift in mindset recently,

Over the past few days I have had this major shift in my mindset. For the last several months I have gradually moved from thinking life without WW was impossible. I am gradually starting to realize I will be okay.

I am not as hung up on losing the friends and her family as I was before. I am learning that I can find someone with my same values. WW and I currently do not have the same values.

It is weird. I feel liberated. I don't know if this is what detaching feels like when it is natural. For a while I have been faking the detaching. (you know, "fake it until you make it"). That is really difficult because the emotions are still there. Everyday that goes by WW has less and less of an impact on my emotional well-being.

Today I was thinking about life before WW. I was very confident. I had my SHXT together. In fact, I have always had my SHXT together until this all went down. I will be fine. WW on the other hand, well if she does not make some big changes, is going to have some real problems. She had them before me, with me, and will have them after me. But guess what...they are not my problems anymore.

I'm still going to be nice. I will lead by example on how a co-parenting relationship works. Right now my kids are going to get one heck of a dad. I'm ready to move past all this. If WW wants reconciliation in the future she will have to come to the table with something to offer.

She will need to respect me, love me, and admire me. I will not accept anything less. I will not be forced to do things I am not comfortable with. I will not compromise my values for her.

Man I feel good right now.