Where do I go from here, pt. 3

[beckyb]

The victory is that I let him get the mail from the porch and didn't even notice he was there.

[Avanti]

In that case it is a victory and you are right to celebrate.

Have you also considered whether there is any change in his behavior as a result of your change in approach? I think I can see some but maybe I am reading too much into what you have said.

[beckyb]

H has always been polite and we have been in touch regularly about logistics, even though he is always the one to initiate contact. I don't know what to think about him. He has clearly stated that our marriage is over and he wants to marry OW but he hasn't worked to move D forward. He apologizes often for hurting me but give no indication he will change his behavior.

[beckyb]

Very weird moment. This morning I started getting status texts from a surgery center where my H has had a major surgery and other procedures. They still had my phone number on record. It was very odd knowing he was there having something done and I didn't even know about it. I texted him to say I get messages and asked if he was ok. He said Sorry and I'm fine.

Odd that they didn't get the phone number from who ever he was with.

Just an unsettling feeling.

[beckyb]

Looking for advice.

My H moved out on August 18. I am still getting his mail. He has not even given his attorney's office his new address.

Currently I just put it in a bag and wait for him to call and ask if he has mail. He said he did a Change of Address at the Post Office but obviously he didn't. I have mentioned it once or twice. Should I push the issue? should I put "Return to Sender" and send it back? Should do nothing?

H is not good at taking care of details so he may not have gotten around to it. On the other hand is this a subconscious to keep a connection?

[beckyb]

Looking for advice.

My H moved out on August 18. I am still getting his mail. He has not even given his attorney's office his new address.

Currently I just put it in a bag and wait for him to call and ask if he has mail. He said he did a Change of Address at the Post Office but obviously he didn't. I have mentioned it once or twice. Should I push the issue? should I put "Return to Sender" and send it back? Should do nothing?

H is not good at taking care of details so he may not have gotten around to it. On the other hand is this a subconscious to keep a connection?

[V2pt0]

Looking for advice.

My H moved out on August 18. I am still getting his mail. He has not even given his attorney's office his new address.

Currently I just put it in a bag and wait for him to call and ask if he has mail. He said he did a Change of Address at the Post Office but obviously he didn't. I have mentioned it once or twice. Should I push the issue? should I put "Return to Sender" and send it back? Should do nothing?

H is not good at taking care of details so he may not have gotten around to it. On the other hand is this a subconscious to keep a connection?

I would not do anything. You have told him multiple times and any more will be nagging. Just put it somewhere. He will eventually bring it up or come pick it up.

[beckyb]

[quote=beckyb] and any more will be nagging. Just put it somewhere. He will eventually bring it up or come pick it up.

Thanks for your response. That is my inclination but then I get worried that I'm being a doormat. Plus my friends and family keep telling not to put up with it. Of course they don't see any reason I would keep holding to hope. Most of the time I don't either. But something inside me isn't quite ready to slam the door.

[V2pt0]

[quote=beckyb] and any more will be nagging. Just put it somewhere. He will eventually bring it up or come pick it up.

Thanks for your response. That is my inclination but then I get worried that I'm being a doormat. Plus my friends and family keep telling not to put up with it. Of course they don't see any reason I would keep holding to hope. Most of the time I don't either. But something inside me isn't quite ready to slam the door.

But is it really bothering you? I am not sure that is being a doormat. It's just mail. I just kept putting my H's on the bookcase shelf. I really didn't think twice about it. He just changed address a couple of weeks ago.

[beckyb]

It does bother me some. He's accusing me of dragging my feet and he can't even change his address. I had ask my attorney about it and he said to hold on to it. But he sent an email to h's attorney asking him to encourage h to change his address. I didn't know he was sending it. oh well.